lysachan's fics

fanvid: criminal minds - boring [emily/jj]

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 12:16:08 GMT

Title: Boring
Vidder: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Spoilers: Clips from all four seasons.
Notes: Humour. Pure entertainment. Not to be taken seriously. This video just sort of happened, I can't really explain it. And of all the songs, this one inspired an Emily/JJ video; I know, there's something wrong with my head. But what I learned from this project is that JJ looks annoyed a lot. Best viewed in 16:9 (change settings if viewed with VLC).
Download/Watch: Megaupload (47.0Mb / .wmv) or YouTube. Embedded version under the cut.

Lyrics: Pink - Boring

fic: criminal minds - keeper of the winds [emily/jj] 3/3

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:27:14 GMT

Title: Keeper of the Winds (3/3)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 8,237
Rating: R
Summary: In need of some time-off from the BAU, JJ ends up on a remote ranch in New Mexico and stumbles upon an unexpected adventure involving crooks and a certain cowgirl.

>> Part 2 <<

Chapter IX

JJ knew she'd miss this sensation terribly, waking up in Emily's arms, feeling happy and well rested. She sighed contently and rolled over to glance at a small alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed, tiredly squinting to see the time: 4:43. Groaning at the insanely early hour, she rubbed her eyes and then turned back to the sleeping beauty lying next to her. Emily looked so peaceful when she slept, and JJ tenderly brushed a lock of dark hair off the other woman's forehead.

One day. She only had one day left, before she would need to pack up her bags and leave the best thing that had ever happened to her behind. The happiness she'd felt slowly turned into overwhelming sadness and anguish, and JJ tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall. Had her vacation been a premise for some sappy Hollywood movie, she would've left everything, her job and her home, and moved out West in order to be with Emily. But it hadn't been, it was for real, and she had real life responsibilities to get back to. Why did life always have to be so complicated and unfair?

Slowly, she climbed out of bed, trying not to wake Emily, whose chest was still rising and falling evenly. JJ scooped her clothes from the floor, where they'd been haphazardly dropped the night before, and dressed quietly, wondering whether she should leave a note or not. They both knew this day was coming, so what good would it do to make it any harder than it already was. Slipping on her jacket, she looked at Emily for a little while longer, before giving in and leaning down, kissing the brunette softly on the lips.

"I love you," she whispered, stroking Emily's cheek with the back of her hand. She felt like she was choking on her emotions, but she knew she had to leave now, before it would become too difficult.

JJ walked to the door with adamant steps, willing herself not to look back, because she knew she would crack if she did. The door closed with a small thud behind her, and she leaned against it, feeling like she'd just literally closed the door to her one chance at happiness. Life sure had a cruel sense of humour.

It was still fairly dark outside—the sun wouldn't rise for another hour—but the moon provided just enough light for JJ to walk slowly towards the main yard. Deep in thought, the faint voices hadn't registered with her at first, but when someone momentarily raised his voice, JJ's head snapped up, and she automatically leaped towards a large piñon tree that outlined the yard.

She recognized Jackson's voice immediately and pressed closer to the tree that effectively concealed her whereabouts. There were two voices she could distinguish, drawing closer and closer by the second. JJ was afraid to breathe.

"Has the route been secured?" It was Jackson.

"Did it myself yesterday." JJ would recognize the pretentious lilt of David's voice anywhere.

"It'd better be in order," Jackson grumbled. "The last thing I need is someone interrupting the delivery."

"It's all ready for tomorrow. Now we just need to dig up the goods."

"Better do it now when no one's around yet."

"I'll get the shovels."

The pair walked past the tree JJ was hiding behind, but luckily, neither of them paid much attention to their surroundings. She watched David fetch a couple of shovels from the shed, and as the pair began making their way further away from the ranch, JJ felt she had no other option but to follow them.

She was led a mile or so outside the ranch's perimeter where the river made a sharp turn and the ground was plotted with sagebrush. JJ had kept a clear distance between her and the two men, and when they finally stopped and began digging into the ground, she carefully walked to a large rock nearby and observed the operation from there.

Sunrise wasn't too far away, and the world had begun emerging from the darkness again. Her brow knitted in confusion as she watched a big, black duffel bag being dug up from the ground and David hoisting it on his back. Clearly satisfied with their work, the two men headed back towards the ranch, their tail following close behind.

Once they reached the shed again, Jackson took the bag from his partner and, without a word, stepped through the door, shutting it firmly behind him. David continued towards the main yard, only once glancing back at the shed Jackson had disappeared into. JJ made sure he was long gone before silently inching past the shed and practically sprinting to the main building and the safety of her room.

***

JJ was on a mission: she had to find out what was in the black bag – even if she already had a very good inkling of its contents. Pacing nervously in her room, she tried to come up with an alternative way to sneak a peek besides the one she'd already come up with, but the more she contemplated it, the surer she was that there was only one obvious way to do it.

"You have completely lost it, JJ," she muttered, scratching her forehead.

Nevertheless, she grabbed her BlackBerry and proceeded to input everything she knew, from the guns to the bag and, yes, even Emily. She hadn't seen the brunette all day, but, then, she hadn't stepped foot out of her room since she'd slid the lock in place after her impromptu tailing operation that morning. JJ swallowed as a new wave of emotion threatened to drown her, and she tried desperately to not feel so heartbroken over someone who was clearly breaking the law in one way or another. It didn't surprise her that she failed miserably in her attempt.

All the information now stored away, JJ glanced at the clock—nearly 10pm—and sent the document to the one person of the BAU who would know what to do with it if need be. Then, she waited. She knew that David had cattle duty on Tuesdays, which meant that, if he left a little after ten like he usually did, he wouldn't be back before midnight. Tuesday was also poker night at the bar, and Jackson never missed an opportunity to prove his superiority over the rest of the players. Minutes ticked by, in a painfully slow pace, but finally she heard a horse neigh outside, and as she peered down from her window, she could see David galloping past the stables and into the darkness.

"Well, this is it then," JJ said to no one in particular as she grabbed her flashlight and lock picking tools from the bed and headed for the door. Reaching the entrance to the dining area, she hesitated, finally building up enough courage to peek around the corner to make sure Jackson was, indeed, at the poker table. Sure enough, Jackson, with his thick moustache and impressive cowboy hat he never seemed to take off, was immersed in the game, his eyes glued to the cards he was holding, a smoking cigar perched in the corner of his mouth.

Letting out a sigh of relief, JJ quickly slipped outside and strode across the yard and towards the shed. The heavy padlock was still in place, but within minutes JJ had managed to pick it, remembering the right technique from her previous attempt. Once inside, she didn't waste any time and hurried to the back of the room. The mysterious duffel bag sat on top of the left metal container, and with trembling fingers, JJ unzipped it.

Although she'd known what to expect, the sight still made her hold her breath. JJ ran her hand over the blocks of drugs—heroine, she presumed—tucked inside, calculating rapidly in her head that the contents of the bag must’ve been worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. So Sunrise Valley was a stopping point for a drug smuggling ring. You really know how to pick your vacation destinations, JJ, she though sarcastically and reached for her phone in her pocket. She needed to photograph the dugs for evidence.

JJ should've been aware of it, should've heard something. She was supposed to be an FBI agent after all. But she'd been completely oblivious to everything until the distinctive sound of a safety catch being pulled back filled the silence of the quiet room. JJ froze, knowing far too well what that particular sound indicated, and didn't have time to react properly as a switch was flipped, and a small light bulb, hanging from the ceiling, illuminated the back of the room.

"Turn around and keep your hands where I can see them," a low voice commanded, and JJ recognized it from that first meeting she'd stumbled upon soon after she'd arrived between Jackson and the man who know held her at gunpoint, Stenton.

JJ did as she was told and turned to face an average-looking man with a 9mm semi-automatic in his hand. The barrel was pointed directly at her chest.

"Who the hell are you?" Stenton demanded to know, his whole being devoid of any kind of emotion. The coldness in his voice made JJ's skin crawl.

"I'm just a guest here. I...I was looking for a broom," she said, naming the first thing that came to mind. Way to go, JJ, way to go.

"Bullshit." He took a step forward, the gun in his hand never wavering. "Now, I'm asking you one last time. Who are you?"

JJ swallowed. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid, walking straight into a trap without a gun—or any sort of a weapon for that matter—and backup. I'm the worst agent in history. Helplessly, she stared down the barrel of the gun, realizing with utter clarity that there was no way out of this situation.

"Drop it, right now." A gun was pressed against the back of Stenton's head, and JJ's eyes widened as Emily stepped out of the shadows. She was holding a Glock 19, but rather than seeing the gun itself, JJ noticed the brunette's firm hold of it; Emily knew exactly what she was doing, which both calmed and somewhat alarmed JJ.

"What a..." Stenton was taken completely by surprise, but he remained motionless, clearly understanding that the situation had taken a serious turn against him.

"I said, drop your weapon, Stenton," Emily repeated, her voice even and uncompromising, giving absolutely nothing away.

"Emily?" The man finally recognized the person standing behind him and smiled sarcastically. "Well, ain't this a nice little twist."

"I'm not going to ask you again."

"Or you'll do what?" he challenged, raising the gun in his hand so that it pointed toward JJ's forehead.

"Stenton, I swear to God. You hurt one hair on her head, and I'll kill you."

"I always said to Jackson that you were bad news," he said, but slowly lowered his gun and threw it to the ground. "You two gonna split with the load or what?"

"Kneel down," Emily said, not paying any attention to Stenton's remarks.

"You know they'll hunt you down if you do." He knelt down, putting his hands behind his head. "You and your little girlfriend here." He leered at JJ.

"You really have no idea, do you?" Emily said, raising her hand and knocking him out with the butt of her gun. He fell to the floor with a grunt. Slipping the Glock into the waistband of her jeans, Emily kneeled down and tied Stenton's hands and feet with a rope she grabbed from one of the shelves. To finish it off, she gagged the man with a piece of cloth, dragged his limp body behind a row of shelves, and then stood up, looking satisfied.

JJ had been watching it all, rooted to the spot and unable to utter a word. She was too stunned, completely caught off guard, her mouth hanging slightly open. She had no idea what had just happened. Emily finally looked at her and, seeing her bewildered state, she simply grabbed the blonde's arm and dragged her across the room.

"Come on, Jennifer. We need to go." JJ felt as if she was in a haze and simply followed the other woman's lead.

The cool night air hit JJ in the face when they stepped outside, and she was finally able to shake the nearly catatonic state she'd fallen into. She shook her head as if to clear it and watched as Emily reached for her gun again. The brunette's right hand was still around JJ's upper arm as she led them further and further into the darkness, again only the moon giving them a vague idea of where they were going.

"Wait." JJ finally regained her ability to speak. "What just happened there?" She tried to stop, but Emily wouldn't let her.

"Jennifer, not now."

"No, what's going on?" JJ asked heatedly and wrenched her arm free, causing Emily to finally turn around.

"I'm serious, we don't have time for this!" She glanced restlessly towards the ranch.

"Who are you?" JJ asked, taking an involuntary step back.

"Jennifer..." Emily's eyes were pleading, but JJ wouldn't budge. She knew they were in a hurry and it was stupid, but something inside of her made her stand her ground.

"No." JJ shook her head. "Who are you?"

She saw Emily swallow nervously, the look on her face the one of vulnerability she'd seen during their riding trip to the mountains. And, exactly like back then, Emily now closed her eyes, and when she looked back at JJ again, the invisible wall had erected itself between them.

"Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss from the FBI. Nice to meet you." Emily extended her hand for emphasis, but JJ was too dumbfounded to even realize the sarcastic gesture.

"What?" She whispered, blinking. This was all too much.

"Jennifer, I can explain everything, but first we need to get out of here. Fast." Emily reached for her hand, and JJ let herself be led forward again, away from Sunrise Valley.

***

The small cave was surprisingly warm, although the temperature outside had already dropped close to 50F. Emily was perched on a small rock at the entrance, her right hand wrapped tightly around her Glock. She had a look of concentration on her face as she peered outside into the darkness. They'd managed to find their way to the cave Emily had said was her meeting point with her FBI contacts, and now there was no other option than to wait. It felt like it'd been hours already.

"So you're working undercover at the ranch?" JJ asked from where she was sitting on the other side of the cave, arms wrapped securely around her midsection.

"Yeah. It's a joint operation between the FBI, the DEA, and New Mexico State Police," Emily admitted.

"Are they all involved, Jackson and the lot?"

"Pretty much." Emily nodded, her gaze still aimed at the darkness. "Sunrise Valley is a meeting point for various drug smugglers. Shipments from South America are stored on its grounds, and the whole tourist business makes running the operation pretty easy. My assignment was to try and infiltrate Jackson's gang to gather as much information as possible about the shipments, as well as their distribution."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Took me over a year, but Jackson finally let me in last September when she needed someone to ride to Chimayo for a delivery. I've been keeping tabs on the operation ever since."

"So you probably know I'm FBI as well then, huh?" JJ couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice.

"I'm required to check the background of anyone who passes through the gate," Emily replied quietly, and JJ just shook her head.

"Great." She snorted. "I bet you had a long laugh at that."

"God, how can you even think that?" Emily finally looked at her, irritation clear in her eyes. "I was so excited at the prospect of meeting someone who's from the same world as I am after being in this place for so long, someone with a similar frame of mind. And I did meet that person."

JJ watched as Emily squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of her nose, exhaustion clear in her posture.

"I think it goes without saying that I didn't expect it to go this far." Emily sighed. "You were so funny and adorable and wonderful, right from the beginning. And while I knew I should've kept my distance, I just couldn't stay away from you. You were just...perfect," she admitted, smiling sadly. "I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't break my cover, for anyone, you know that, right?"

JJ looked away, knowing that Emily was right, knowing that when undercover, the cover needed to be protected at all costs. It didn't stop the blonde from feeling somewhat betrayed, though.

"Funny thing, actually," Emily continued and snorted humorlessly. "I almost applied for the BAU a few years ago."

"What? You did?" Small world.

"Yeah. One of your team members left, right?" The brunette glanced at JJ for confirmation, and the younger woman nodded. "I seriously considered applying, but, for some reason, the position was never opened. And then I was offered this instead."

"I still can't believe you just left everything and came here."

"Well, so did you, right?" Touché.

Before JJ had a chance to reply, however, the distinctive sound of voices, just outside the cave's entrance, filtered into the small space, and Emily immediately perked up.

"Get behind me!" She gestured for the younger woman to crawl over to her.

"I can take care of myself, too, you know?" JJ noted quietly. Still, she was moved by how protective of her Emily was.

"Which one of us is holding the gun again?" The tone in Emily's voice didn't leave any room for negotiation, and JJ actually had the grace to blush. She quickly moved behind the other agent.

"What time is it?" Emily whispered, prompting JJ to turn on the small flashlight and point it at her wrist watch.

"Almost four."

"Could be them," Emily mumbled to herself.

"Who?"

"Shhh!" The voices were closer now, and they could see flashlights bouncing off the rocks.

"Prentiss!" Someone hollered, and JJ could feel Emily's demeanour relax.

"Matt! Over here!" the older woman called out and stood up so that they could see her. Soon, a brown-haired, middle-aged man, dressed in Kevlar and a blue uniform, appeared from their left and grinned wickedly at Emily.

"Prentiss! Damn, it's been too long." He gave the brunette a quick hug before his eyes turned to JJ. "And you must be Agent Jareau. We can do the pleasantries later. Let's get you out of here first."

A group of seven agents helped them climb down the steep slope, and JJ simply followed blindly, having absolutely no idea what was going on.

"I radioed my boss earlier, before I started keeping an eye on the shed," Emily explained when she saw JJ's confused look. "I figured we might need rescuing by the end of the night."

"Did I just ruin your whole operation?" JJ asked, mortified at the prospect of sabotaging over two year's worth of undercover work all because she couldn't keep her curiosity in check.

"Nah." Emily smiled reassuringly. "You just sped it along a little."

"So it's all over? Jackson and everyone have been arrested?" JJ saw a shadow pass across Emily's face.

"It's complicated," she replied, and then there were voices and people and flashing lights, and JJ didn't have time to ask Emily to elaborate. The area in front of them was swarming with agents and cars with flashing red-and-blue lights, drowning their surroundings in surreal light.

"JJ!" JJ's head whipped around, and she needed to blink a few times before realizing she wasn't hallucinating.

"Morgan?" she asked incredulously. She looked past him and saw Hotch and Rossi walking towards her as well. "What are you doing here?"

"We got a call saying that one of our agents had gotten herself involved in an undercover operation." Hotch quirked his eyebrow. "And then I had a visit from Garcia," he continued knowingly.

"Oh," JJ said, embarrassed.

She turned to look at Emily, who was still standing beside her, but when their eyes met, JJ was struck speechless, not knowing how to say everything she needed to say. She didn't even know where they stood. Emily smiled tenderly and took JJ's hand, seemingly unnoticed by everyone else.

"Jennifer, I-." She wasn't able to finish before she was interrupted by a tall black man in a well-tailored suit. He was obviously her boss.

"Prentiss, how are you?" the man asked, laying a hand on Emily's shoulder, and determinedly but not forcefully, steered her away from JJ and the other three BAU agents. "We need to brief you ASAP."

"I'm fine," JJ heard Emily reply absentmindedly, before turning her head back to the younger woman. Her eyes told JJ everything she needed to know, and JJ took an involuntary step forward, craning her neck in order to see where they were taking Emily.

She saw Emily's final, helpless glance aimed at her, before she disappeared into one of the black SUVs on site, and as the car sped away, JJ felt like it was taking her whole life with it.

***

Chapter X

It was the strangest feeling to walk along the corridors of Quantico again. A ranch in New Mexico was so drastically different that it would probably take JJ a while to get used to concrete walls and technology again. Her heels made a distinctive clicking noise on the polished floor as she walked, the resulting sound odd and alien after three months of crunching desert sand under her boots.

The past week had been gruelling. After she'd gone through everything—barring some minor, personal details—with both DEA and the CJIS, she'd needed to do it all over again with Hotch, who was, understandably, concerned that one of his agents had found herself in the middle of a large scale drug trafficking investigation.

All in all, JJ was physically and emotionally drained, and it certainly hadn't helped that she hadn't heard anything from Emily all week. That was really the worst; she had no idea where the other woman was, or when she might see her again – if she would ever see her again. JJ refused to think the worst, but the doubt had already been planted in her mind and in her heart as well.

Garcia was kicked back in her chair, eating a Butterfinger, when JJ stepped into the unofficial information center of the BAU, the technical analyst's free hand dancing elegantly across the keyboard in front of her. She held a look of sympathy on her face when she saw her friend enter, but she remained silent; Garcia knew there was nothing she could possibly say to make things better, so she simply let JJ know that if she needed to talk, she would be there for her.

"I think I'm ready," JJ said, arms crossed above her chest, attention aimed at the various monitors before her.

"Are you sure?" Garcia asked gently, hoping JJ wouldn't take offence.

"I need to see it."

"Okay." The Butterfinger long forgotten, Garcia turned her attention to the screen, her fingers hesitating for a second before she started typing commands. "Emily...?"

"Prentiss," JJ said, her voice dull. Strange, but the name 'Thomas' hadn't made sense or suited Emily at all in JJ's opinion, while 'Prentiss' fitted like a glove.

An FBI agent profile popped up on the screen, and JJ took a steadying breath before daring to look at it. There was a photograph of Emily on the left, her hair free and just brushing her shoulders, and a faint smile on her lips. JJ swallowed as she looked into familiar eyes, feeling as if any moment now the sadness inside her would consume her whole.

"Wow, she's striking," Garcia admitted quietly, quite easily able to tell what JJ saw in the dark-haired woman.

Leaning forward, JJ began reading the contents of the profile, hungrily absorbing every possible detail of the person she missed more than anything. Rank: Supervisory Special Agent... Years of service: 13... Language skills: English, Spanish, French, Arabic, basic Russian... Closest relative: Elizabeth Prentiss (mother), Ambassador...

"Her mother is Ambassador Prentiss?" Garcia asked incredulously, having reached that part of the bio as well.

"I guess her parents really did own that farm," JJ muttered to herself, feeling like the last possibility of finding something in Emily to be angry or offended about—to ease the profound yearning for the brunette within her—had just flown out of the window. She let out a frustrated sigh.

"What?" Garcia glanced up at her. "Did she lie?" she asked carefully, lowering her tone to soften the blow just in case the answer was 'yes'.

"No." JJ shook her head, angrily wiping a lone tear from her cheek. "No, she didn't lie. That's the problem."

She skimmed down the page and finally stumbled upon the part she'd been too scared to look at until then. Emily's work record showed that she’d been involved in various joint operations between agencies and had worked in many FBI field offices around the country during her career. But JJ didn't really care about that. Her eyes were fixed on the last two lines of the list.

Current assignment: undercover/classified (2006 - ?). Joint: DEA, NMSP.
Until: undetermined.

"Oh, God," JJ mumbled and sank into the nearest chair, burying her face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Jay-J," Garcia said, watching helplessly as her best friend tried to hold herself together. She put a hand on the blonde's back for comfort, worrying that she'd never seen JJ quite that broken before.

"I thought that her being FBI would actually make things easier, but..." JJ shook her head. "Shit, this is even worse!"

"Hey, you don't know what's going to happen." Garcia tried to be positive. "And Emily will probably contact you as soon as she can."

But she hadn't. A month had gone by, then another, and JJ began to think that life would never stop sucking.

***

JJ knew it wasn't normal to feel so empty and almost catatonic, but nothing seemed to matter much anymore. She just wasn't interested in anything, which left her strolling the corridors of Quantico and the hallways of her apartment in a nearly mechanical manner. She did her job just as well as before, but everyone on the team noticed that she wasn't entirely there; the dullness of her voice, as well as the lack of spark in her eyes that always used to be there, didn't go unnoticed by anyone. But although JJ acknowledged the change as well, bringing herself to do something about it was more easily said than done.

Garcia had attempted to talk to her about it on various occasions, and as much as JJ wanted to give her friend what she wanted, she simply was unable to open up. Just the other day, the computer tech had asked her if she'd even cried since finding out about Emily's continuing assignment. No, I haven't cried, she'd relayed to Garcia, but it hadn't been because she didn't want to, but rather, because she couldn't. It was so much easier to deny the emotions, to be unable to actually feel, than let free the sorrow that loomed just under the surface.

It was close to midnight when JJ closed the last case file of a serial in Phoenix, Arizona, who had chosen to target police officers. She'd present the case to the team in the morning, which meant that by that time the following day, she'd probably be stuck in a hotel room somewhere in the middle of Phoenix. With a sigh, she made her way to her ready-bag which had been haphazardly thrown in a corner of her office after their previous case that had taken them to Atlanta.

Just the thought of the Atlanta case made her shudder involuntarily. Being undercover alone in a nightclub hadn't actually been her ideal way to solve the case, but she'd long ago learned not to question Hotch's decisions. Once again, she wondered why Elle had never been replaced; her position had simply been left open. A position that Emily would probably have applied for, JJ reminded herself and sighed. She wondered how different her life would be, had she met the brunette through different circumstances.

JJ rummaged through the bag, checking to see if she had everything she needed, or if there was something she should take with her from home in the morning, when she felt something solid in the side pocket of the bag. Frowning, she unzipped it and found the Kay Scarpetta book she'd been reading during her vacation; she'd obviously forgotten it was there when the bag had turned into her BAU ready bag again, and somehow she hadn't noticed it before now.

Biting the inside of her cheek, JJ turned the book in her hands as if she didn’t quite know what to do with it. She'd finished the novel just before her second endeavor to find out the truth about Noel Jackson by stupidly sneaking her way into the shed, after which everything had unravelled at such a speed that just thinking about it still made her head spin. Carefully leafing through the book, she frowned when she spotted something stuck between the pages. JJ inhaled audibly when she realized what it was.

"It's a White Marsh Marigold. They're typical for the mountains in the area."

Emily's words echoed in her head, and she couldn't breathe. JJ had completely forgotten she'd placed the flower in her book; she'd insisted on taking it with her when she'd left Emily's that morning, despite the brunette's insistence that there were plenty of better looking ones in the mountains and that the one in her hands was wilted and quite pathetic at best.

But it was the thought behind that particular individual marigold that counted more than its appearance, and it was that same thought that now made JJ gasp for air, unable to concentrate on anything but the small, pressed flower before her. The lock that had kept her emotions hidden away from the world suddenly gave way, and she felt everything at once. With trembling hands, she closed the book and hugged it to her chest, refusing to let go of it as she leaned against the door of her office and slowly slid down the smooth surface.

The tears finally came as she sat on the floor of her office, clutching the book with the flower in it, her only anchor to keep her from losing it completely.

***

It was that time of the year when Garcia realized, once again, how festive a person she actually was. Striding along the corridor in an elf's hat and a shirt that said, 'Jingle my Bells', she made a mental note to take some decorations with her when she'd head over to JJ's later. It had taken much begging and pleading to get JJ to finally agree to celebrate Christmas with her, instead of moping the day away, alone in her apartment.

It would get better with time, Garcia was sure of it, but until then, she would be there for JJ every step of the way. It wasn't often someone fell for another as deeply as JJ seemed to have had fallen for Emily, so it was only understandable that it'd take some time. Not that it had helped much that Will had called for the first time in months, causing the young agent to throw her phone against the wall, accompanied by a colourful array of swearwords. The poor man probably wouldn't be bothering her again, although, after that, basically everyone else and their mother had called JJ – everyone except Emily.

Garcia rounded a corner, still wondering about the somewhat mysterious brunette agent, and stopped abruptly when her thoughts seemed to have materialized in front of her.

"Oh my." She couldn't stop staring. Emily Prentiss looked fantastic, even Garcia had to admit that; her ID photo hadn't done her justice. The brunette was standing in the hallway, peering at the BAU bullpen through the glass doors. She was dressed in charcoal grey pants and a matching jacket with a white shirt underneath it. Elegance, thought Garcia, Emily practically oozed it. The computer tech stepped forward and cleared her throat before she was caught ogling a female agent in the middle of Quantico.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" she asked and warm, brown eyes turned to her. Emily blinked, clearly caught off guard by the fascinating appearance of the woman before her.

"Yes, actually I'm looking for Agent Jareau." Garcia found Emily's obvious nervousness endearing.

"She's already headed home and, as remarkable as it is, won't be back until after Christmas, I'm afraid."

"Right, of course." Emily looked down, defeated, but then quickly raised her head. "It's just that I, erm, I really, really need to find her."

"I know." Garcia grinned, unable to keep up the façade any longer. She'd always been a sucker for mushy romantic stories such as this particular one had the potential of being.

"Pardon?" Emily frowned in confusion.

"I'm Penelope Garcia, the computer whiz extraordinaire of the BAU, and JJ's best friend." She extended her hand toward the other woman who, after a bit of hesitation, reached out and shook it.

"Right." Emily still didn't seem to know what was going on.

"And I know about you," Garcia stated meaningfully.

"Oh." Garcia watched as realization hit the agent. "Oh." The blush that crept up Emily's neck made Garcia chuckle, but then her voice sobered.

"You didn't call her." She stated matter-of-factly with just a hint of accusation.

"I know." The look of sadness on Emily's face was so profound that Garcia found it impossible to stay mad at her. Not that she let the other woman see it, though. "God knows I wanted to," the brunette added as an afterthought.

"She's been a wreck these past months."

"So have I," Emily said to no one in particular.

"It took me three cartons of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough to convince her to actually get out of bed on Thanksgiving."

"Damn." Emily ran a hand through her hair. "So, are you saying I should just leave it?" She looked miserable.

"God no!" Garcia exclaimed, briefly startling Emily.

"Good. Because I don't think I could," the agent said honestly, and from that moment on, Emily had gained Garcia's respect.

"Excellent." She patted Emily on the arm. "That's all I wanted to know. Now, I think it's time for you to pay a certain blonde press liaison a visit."

Emily smiled knowingly, and Garcia almost wished she wasn't into men.

***

Chapter XI

JJ had never been so unenthusiastic about Christmas before. It was usually one of the rare occasions she spent with her family back in Pennsylvania, but this year she'd made up a lame excuse about needing to work through the holidays in order to get out of it. The disappointment in her father's voice had been heartbreaking, but she figured it was better than going home and ruining her family's Christmas by sulking in the corner.

Flipping through her countless CDs, she looked for the one Christmas album she owned which Garcia had asked the blonde to track down before her arrival. It was the last thing she wanted to do, to listen to Christmas carols and songs of how everything was so merry and goddamn wonderful when everything certainly wasn't. Snatching the aforementioned album from the pile as she finally came across it, JJ flipped it over and groaned when she saw the track list. 'Jingle Bell Rock'? Oh, hell no.

The doorbell rang before JJ had time to conveniently get rid of the album, and she walked to the door with the CD in her hands. Garcia was early, which was quite unusual for her.

"Garcia, we're so not listening to th-." The words died on her lips as her eyes landed on a nervous-looking brunette standing on the other side of the door. The CD case fell from her hands, but she didn't even notice. All she could do was to stare at the woman who had haunted her every thought for months.

"Hi," Emily said, her voice uncertain. She bent down and slowly retrieved the fallen CD from where it had landed.

"What...how did you...?" JJ couldn't think straight. The world was spinning around her, and it was an impossible task to grasp that Emily had just materialized out of nowhere, even when the apparition was still very much visible.

"I was, erm, relieved from my assignment yesterday," Emily explained, nervously cradling the damaged jewel case of the Christmas CD in her hands. JJ could only blink.

"I think I need to sit down," JJ suddenly mumbled and scrambled back inside, hearing Emily follow after a moment of indecision.

"Do you need a glass of water or something?" Emily asked, worried, as JJ slumped into one of the chairs in her living room, her breathing slightly ragged.

"No, I'm good." JJ's voice was muffled by the hands on her face. Emily remained standing, weighing her options, and finally, she decided to bite the bullet as she walked confidently to the sitting woman, shedding her overcoat on the back of the couch on the way.

"Jennifer." She kneeled down before the blonde and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. JJ slowly looked up and saw Emily smiling at her.

"Hi," she whispered shyly, still not believing Emily was truly there. A hand slowly moved up to cup her face, a thumb tenderly stroking over the soft skin of her cheek.

"Hi," Emily replied quietly, revelling in the feel of JJ's soft skin against her hand once again.

"I think I'm dreaming."

"Do you want me to pinch you?"

"You disappeared." It wasn't said accusingly, just with sadness.

"I know. And I'm so very sorry."

"Where were you?"

"Still stuck undercover in New Mexico, wrapping up the case. I was the only one who knew the details of the smuggling scheme. Jackson & Co. were arrested before they could rat me out, so I was still useful for the parties involved." Emily was babbling and looked away guiltily. "Not that it justifies me not calling, but I couldn't make contact without being compromised."

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"I was just waiting for a way out. I'm so sorry it took this long."

"You don't have to go back?" JJ couldn't help the feeling of hope that sprang from within her.

"No." Emily shook her head and took the blonde's hands into her own. "I'll actually be, umm, working from Quantico from now on."

"What?" JJ's eyebrows rose high on her forehead.

"Yeah, I...I applied for a transfer. There's an open teaching position and-,"

"You'd do that just for me?"

"I thought that much was obvious by now."

"Oh, my God." She covered her face with her hands again, the news both exhilarating and terrifying.

"JJ?" Emily frowned at the reaction she hadn’t been expecting.

The tangled web of thoughts inside JJ's head made rational thinking extremely difficult. She glanced back up at Emily, her eyes watery and indecisive. There she was, crouched down next to her, the woman who had turned her life upside down and was now offering her a way out, a chance for happiness, and JJ was suddenly afraid. She recognized the all too familiar feeling of cowardness seeping into her and looked pleadingly at Emily.

"I'm so tired of running," she admitted quietly, needing Emily to understand where she was coming from. All her life, it'd seemed that her role had been to be unhappy and lonely, a part she'd happily played, but giving that up shouldn't have been this difficult.

"So don't." Emily's reply was just as quiet, and she didn't back down an inch.

"It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is. You just stop." Fingers under JJ's chin urged her to look up into beautiful brown eyes. "You have me." The familiar phrase caused a sob to pass the blonde's lips.

"Hey, you okay?" Emily asked gently, her eyes never leaving JJ's.

"Yeah." A nod. "Yeah, I'm better than okay." JJ whispered, quickly wrapping her arms around Emily's neck. The familiar scent of the other woman filled her nose, and she felt good for the first time in what seemed like forever. "I'm perfect." She squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears still running down her cheeks.

"Yes. Yes, you are," JJ heard Emily murmur close to her ear and felt her heart swell with happiness.

***

"I actually got you a Christmas present," Emily confessed nervously, holding a fairly sizeable box she'd fetched earlier from the car. "Just in case," she then added, her cheeks reddening.

"Can I open it?" JJ took the offered box and shook it tentatively.

"Go ahead."

Smiling widely, JJ untied the bright red ribbon on top and carefully eased the lid off. She covered her mouth with her right hand when she saw what was inside, and with trembling fingers, she lifted a stylish, mocha-coloured cowboy hat from the box.

"I wanted to buy you one this past the summer, but I never got the chance. Anyone who rides horses as well as you needs to have their own hat," Emily explained, scratching the back of her neck.

"You really think of everything," JJ said and eased closer to the brunette, kissing her deeply. She took every opportunity to kiss Emily after being unable to do so for so long. "Thank you."

"Let's see." Emily took the hat and put it on the younger woman’s head. "Perfect."

"You think so?" JJ asked, her voice taking on a sultry edge.

"Oh, I know so." Emily wiggled her eyebrows mischievously, before leaning down and capturing the blonde's lips again.

The doorbell rang interrupting the kiss, and JJ giggled as the other agent pecked her first on the nose and then on both corners of her mouth. Finally, she managed to slip away, albeit grudgingly, from Emily's affectionate grasp and hurried to the door, a wide grin plastered on her face.

"Jay-J, I was just che-." Garcia fell silent and blinked. Her eyes slid up to the cowboy hat JJ was still sporting, making the 'cowgirl' blush beet red when she remembered her new accessory.

"Um, hi Garcia." She quickly took the hat off, not able to meet her best friend's eyes.

"Well, ho, ho, ho and yee-ha!" Garcia's eyes sparkled with merriment. She saw Emily stepping behind JJ and winked at her. "Hi Emily."

"Penelope," Emily acknowledged the other woman, smirking knowingly.

"Have you two met?" JJ inquired, confusion etched on her face.

"We bumped into each other earlier," Garcia replied elusively, still studying the older agent with amusement. "Anyway, I just wanted to drop by and say that, unfortunately, I can't make it this Christmas after all."

"Oh really?" JJ's eyebrow arched, easily able to spot the bullshit.

"Really. Morgan invited me to Chicago with him, and I obviously can't turn my chocolate honey-bunny down."

"Obviously."

"So, you two enjoy your Christmas without the radiant presence of the glorious yours truly." The computer tech took a few steps backwards. "And JJ? Call me," she added pointedly.

"Merry Christmas, Penelope," Emily said, the connotation of the greeting much more profound than a simple expression of holiday cheer.

Garcia walked back to her car, sighing happily, the other two women watching her departure from the door. JJ felt Emily's lean figure press lightly against her back, the brunette's hands finding their way to her hips. She swallowed as Garcia's car sped away, but she just couldn't bring herself to move and close the door. One hand slowly slid upwards, fingers lightly caressing the smooth skin under the hem of her shirt. JJ's breath caught.

"Emily?" she murmured.

"Yeah?"

"You do realize that my neighbours have a full view of my door, don't you?"

"Uh-huh." Soft lips descended on her shoulder and started a journey up her neck.

"God..." JJ squeezed her eyes shut, every cell in her body humming with pleasure. With much effort, she managed to lift her foot just enough to kick the door closed and turned around in Emily's arms at the same time.

"Nope, just me," Emily quipped, her hands inching higher and higher under JJ's shirt.

"Oh, shut up." JJ chuckled, before capturing Emily's lips and efficiently silencing her.

***

EPILOGUE

The snow underneath JJ's feet made a delicious crunching sound every time she took a step. There was a good ten inches of snow on the ground, the first snowfall of the season, and it never failed to elevate JJ's mood. The snow made the darkness of the early evening seem much lighter as she walked through the park, deep in thought.

Nothing prepared her for the round mass of coldness that suddenly hit her in the back of the head, jerking her slightly forward. Slowly, she turned around, a few drops of melted snow sliding down her neck and underneath her coat.

"Emily, you didn't." She glared at the dark-haired agent, who was standing a few feet away, another snowball quickly taking form in her hands. The only reply was a wicked grin on the brunette's face, and the second snowball hit JJ squarely in the chest.

"I'm going to kill you," JJ muttered and scooped up snow for her own snowball arsenal.

Much shrieking and dodging of snowballs ensued before JJ was finally close enough to Emily to have her revenge, but her snow missiles missed their goal with painful inaccuracy. Having run out of ammo, Emily scooped JJ up, bringing about another set of shrieks and laughter, before they fell to the ground, exhausted. They lay on their backs for a while, both simply trying to catch their breath.

"I love you." JJ gasped when she heard the quiet words, her heart skipping a beat. The two women turned to look at each other, both recognizing the significance of the moment.

"I love you too." JJ whispered reverently, amazed at how easy it had been to finally say those three little words out loud.

Silently, they turned their eyes back to the night sky that was illuminated with stars. JJ flashed back to the magical moment they'd shared in New Mexico, when she'd first realized the staggering beauty of the burning plasma balls millions and billions of light years away. JJ guessed Emily had made the same association, because she heard her take a deep breath, speaking words they both knew to be true.

"It won't be easy." It was a simple statement, not meant to imply anything.

"I know," JJ said quietly, nodding for emphasis.

Their job would make things difficult, that much was certain. They were both women, which still carried a fairly unpleasant stigma. And if that wasn't enough, Emily had just spent two years of her life pretending to be someone she wasn't, which meant that it'd take a while for her to completely assimilate herself with her old life.

"But we can do it."

"Yes, we can do it." JJ finally spotted Orion's Belt among of the millions of lights. "Teach me another constellation."

"Can you see that very bright star right there?" Emily asked after a brief silence, pointing up and to the left. JJ scooted closer in order to see what the other woman was pointing at. She laid her head on Emily's shoulder and squinted up to the sky.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can see it."

"Right. That's Sirrah, the brightest star of the Andromeda constellation. If you look to the left of it, you can see a line of stars that form it," Emily explained.

"What's the story?"

"Well, we're venturing into the Greek mythology again." Emily cleared her throat. "Andromeda was a princess who was chained to a rock and exposed to a terrible sea monster, Cetus, as punishment for her mother's boast of her daughter's beauty being superior to that of the Nereids, sea nymphs."

"What happened?"

"Perseus saw her when he was on his way back from his expedition against Gorgon. He fell in love with her and promised Cepheus, Andromeda's father, that he'd free her if she could become his wife. The father agreed, and Perseus killed the monster and got the girl." Emily fell silent.

"So, a bit like a hero-in-shining-armour kind of a thing."

"Yeah, you could say that," Emily agreed.

"Well, you're my hero in a cowboy hat." JJ chuckled and felt Emily softly kiss her temple.

They fell silent again, both looking up at the millions and millions of stars littering the night sky. JJ felt Emily's hand grasp hers, their fingers entwining in a perfect fit, a symbolic manifestation of their souls that were now forever bound together, just like the ancient constellations above them.

***

"Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth."
- Archimedes

fic: criminal minds - keeper of the winds [emily/jj] 2/3

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:24:55 GMT

Title: Keeper of the Winds (2/3)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 10,974
Rating: R
Summary: In need of some time-off from the BAU, JJ ends up on a remote ranch in New Mexico and stumbles upon an unexpected adventure involving crooks and a certain cowgirl.

>> Part 1 <<

Chapter V

The Fourth of July festivities were in full swing when JJ came through the doors and stepped outside. There was an enormous bonfire in the middle of the yard and that, combined with the several lanterns of various colours that were hanging from ropes tied between buildings, lit up the whole area. The sun had set some ten minutes previously, but the horizon was still glowing with shades of yellow, red, and blue.

Noel Jackson had obviously gone all out for the party: there was live music in the form of a local folk band, the bonfire was constantly kept alive by two men throwing wood on it, and the tables were laden with all sorts of delicious things that made JJ's mouth water.

"Glad you could join us, Miss Jareau," Thomas, one of the stable boys, said smiling when he spotted JJ. Apart from Emily, he was probably the only person JJ had interacted with the most during her stay, due to the blonde's newborn infatuation to riding.

"Yeah, I needed to take a short nap after my riding lesson this afternoon. I was totally spent afterwards." JJ smiled back. She really liked the boy and could easily see why Emily had chosen him to help her with the horses and other chores around the stables.

"Riding can do that to you," he concurred and nodded. "You've come a long way, though. I can't believe you only started a month ago."

"Why, thank you," JJ said and curtsied as a joke. Thomas answered by raising his hat and grinning.

Unable to keep herself away from the food any longer, JJ excused herself and made a beeline to the tables, proceeding to pile as much food on her plate as possible. She hadn't realised how hungry she'd been until her eyes had landed on the plethora of goods. She was munching on a piece of deliciously moist corn bread when Noel Jackson approached her.

"Enjoying the party, Miss Jareau?" he asked politely.

"Vewy mush," JJ replied, her mouth full. Jackson chuckled.

"I'm glad. This thing, the Fourth of July party, is turning into an annual tradition in these parts." He stood next to her for a moment, a distant look in his eyes. "So, you're from Virginia, aren't you?"

"Umm, yes." The question took JJ completely off guard.

"Lovely state. Did you know that eight of our presidents have come from Virginia?" He picked up a chicken leg from the tray next to him and bit down on it.

"Actually, I didn't." JJ lied, uncertain as to what had prompted this strange conversation. "Now I do."

"Yes, quite an interesting fact. What was it again that you said you do back home?" He asked, seemingly uninterested, and threw away the greasy chicken bone which was the only thing left of his snack.

"I don't believe I ever shared that information." JJ kept her voice conversational, not wanting to let on how uncomfortable his line of questioning actually made her.

"Oh, well, what do y-," Jackson began, but he was cut off by someone invading their space.

"Here you are! I was beginning to think you were a no-show." Emily was her happy self as she stood in front of them, one hand casually in her jeans pocket, the other curled around a glass of punch.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't have missed this for the world." JJ smiled radiantly and sent a silent 'thank you' to whatever higher power had sent Emily her way just then.

"Wonderful party, Mr. Jackson, as always," Emily complimented and raised her glass in salutation. Jackson's moustache twitched and he smiled a thin smile, not even trying to hide his annoyance at the interruption.

Either Emily was completely oblivious to Jackson's displeasure, or she pretended incredibly well that she was, but whatever the case, JJ was utterly relieved that she'd been rescued from the rancher. When had Emily become her personal bodyguard? First David and now this. The brunette's timing was impeccable.

"Thank you. Miss Jareau and I were just talking about Virginia. That's the state she's from, you know," he added almost matter-of-factly.

"I do know," Emily said slowly, and the blonde suddenly felt like she was a piece in some invisible mind game between the two.

"Where are you from, then?" JJ asked the brunette, her goal to steer the conversation away from her as quickly as possible.

"Massachusetts originally," Emily replied, sipping from her glass.

"Oh, I love Massachusetts. Boston is one of my favourite cities," the blonde said enthusiastically. It was all true.

"Have you ever seen the Boston skyline in the evening or night?" Emily asked and continued when the younger woman shook her head. "It's one of the most gorgeous urban things I've ever seen. Especially the south side of the Charles River."

"I'll have to make sure to go see it one day," JJ stated. The two women smiled at each other, both forgetting that Noel Jackson was still standing within feet of them. He cleared his throat and two sets of eyes turned to him.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go mingle with the other guests. I wouldn't want them to feel neglected." He nodded curtly at JJ and let his eyes slide over Emily in near contempt before making his way towards another group of people standing nearby.

"What's his problem?" JJ asked, frowning.

"Women," Emily said simply, and the blonde had to agree that it made a whole lot of sense. "Or strong women, I should say. I'm sure he would've fired me ages ago if I wasn't so important to him."

"Well, thank you for saving me. He makes me...uncomfortable," JJ admitted, her gaze still aimed at Jackson's back.

"He's your typical hillbilly." Emily shrugged and downed the last of her punch.

JJ was about to ask the older woman for more information on her pompous host, but before she could open her mouth, there was commotion further in the yard, and they all turned to watch as a group of people were trying to line dance on the sandy surface.

Realizing the opportunity for extra entertainment, the band began playing 'Boot Scootin' Boogie', inciting the dancers even further. More and more people joined in, laughter and clattering of boots filling the night air, and JJ found herself enthusiastically clapping to the music as well.

"Come on!" Emily grinned widely and took JJ by the arm, leading her towards the centre of the yard.

"No! Emily, I don't know how to line dance!" JJ shouted over the music and other noise, freaked out by the prospect of making a complete fool of herself.

"Who cares? I'll teach you!" The brunette tugged her arm again and JJ relented, having no idea what she was getting herself into.

Much to her surprise, it was actually fun. She stared at Emily's feet as the other woman demonstrated the basic steps, and soon the blonde was stumbling along, giggling at the somewhat absurd situation. The music shifted to 'Achy Breaky Heart', and within no time, she'd mastered the basics. With silent mirth, she wondered that if someone had told her a mere six months ago that she'd be line dancing at a remote New Mexican ranch and actually, God forbid, enjoying herself, she probably would've punched them in the face.

The last steps of the dance session involved linking arms with whoever was standing next to you, and JJ found herself clinging to Emily while making a fast circle. The band played the final note of the song, and the line of dancers erupted into wild applauds and cheers. JJ was still holding on to Emily's arm, laughing alongside the brunette who didn't seem to be in any particular hurry to let go of her arm either.

"That was so much fun! I can't believe I just did that." JJ shook her head in awe, unable to stop grinning.

"You were great!" Emily shouted over the ruckus that still filled the air.

"I had a great teacher."

Emily smiled at the compliment, and when her eyes met JJ's, they were gentle and sincere, and the blonde simply couldn't look away. JJ wasn't sure what it was, but something transpired between them; she could feel it all the way in her toes, and it made her heart flutter. Her breath caught as Emily suddenly leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

JJ took one look at Emily's face and allowed herself be led across the yard and towards the stables. Emily grasped her hand tightly, as if to make sure she was really following her, and with sudden clarity, JJ thought that the contact of their entwined hands was one of the most wonderful things she had ever experienced.

The brunette only let go of her hand once when they reached the stables door, and JJ was told to wait while the other woman went inside to fetch something. Soon, she emerged with a blanket that she'd tied up with rope and hoisted on her back. In her left hand she held a flashlight, the right one again immediately reaching for JJ's as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Come on," Emily whispered and tugged on JJ's hand, the blonde following willingly.

Emily lit the way with the flashlight, and the pair slowly made their way towards the large rock formation JJ remembered rounding when she'd stumbled upon the strange conversation involving Noel Jackson and the mysterious Stenton character. In the darkness of the night, the blonde could just make out the outlines of the formation against the cloudless sky.

It took them ten minutes to reach the first of the bigger rocks, and to JJ's surprise, she could distinguish a footpath going up the steep wall of the ridge. She'd completely missed it when she'd been exploring the area. Her hand still firmly in Emily's, she carefully followed the brunette over the loose rocks and small sagebrushes.

"Almost there," Emily finally said and slowed down. "This is the trickiest part. There's a small gap in the ground, so make sure you don’t step on it."

With the help of the flashlight, JJ saw the opening and easily stepped over it, almost running into Emily's back as the other woman suddenly stopped. They'd arrived on a flat ledge that appeared to be almost ten feet wide. It looked down directly on the ranch that was illuminated by the bonfire, making it possible to estimate their whereabouts.

Emily laid out the blanket and gestured for JJ to sit down, which the blonde more than happily complied. Joining the younger woman, Emily sat down next to her and switched off the flashlight.

"Look up," Emily said. For a few seconds, all JJ could see was the darkness, but then her eyes began to acclimate and she gasped.

The sky was illuminated with stars, millions and billions of them. There were no clouds or air pollution to hinder the incredible brightness, and JJ was speechless.

"Oh, my God," she breathed.

"The stars have always been my favourite thing about this place," Emily confessed.

"Incredible."

"I used to be able to find most of the constellations," Emily said wistfully. "My grandfather bought me a telescope for my tenth birthday, and we used to sit on his porch for hours on end, searching for stars."

"That must've been amazing."

"It was. Whenever we distinguished a new constellation, he would tell me the story behind it. That's how I remembered them all."

"Show me one," JJ asked solemnly. The brunette scanned the night sky for a while, as if deciding which secret could be shared.

"Okay, do you see that one?" She leaned towards JJ, her arm stretched out as she pointed to a group of bright stars above them. "The three stars that are clustered next to each other?"

"Yeah."

"That's Orion. Or, rather, Orion's Belt. It's one of the most easily recognizable ones," Emily began. "It's also one of the oldest man-spotted constellations. In Greek mythology, Orion was a giant huntsman who Zeus placed among the stars, because he challenged the gods by saying he could slay every wild animal on earth. Well, that's one of the interpretations."

"Wow," JJ muttered, completely mesmerized by the stars and the story.

"Through the stories you can sort of see back thousands of years if you think about it."

"My God, this is truly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," JJ whispered, her eyes firmly nailed to the miracle-like display of light above her. It was true: she had never seen anything quite so spectacular.

When there was no answer, the blonde tore her eyes away from the sky and glanced at Emily, only to find out that the brunette was quietly watching her, a faint smile gracing her lips. Emily's eyes looked almost black in the moonlight.

"I'm glad you like it," she finally said quietly, not taking her eyes off of the younger woman.

"I love it," JJ said sincerely. In fact, it was probably the most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for her.

Suddenly, the blonde was painfully aware of the warmth radiating from the body sitting so close to her, and she felt a small shiver go down her spine. Emily was still looking at her, those dark eyes alluring, but gentle at the same time. There was no way JJ could've resisted them, no chance whatsoever. Her eyes slid slowly to Emily's lips and then back up again, her heart hammering so rapidly in her chest that she thought it would burst.

She saw Emily leaning forward, or maybe she did so herself, but all she knew was that the brunette's lips were suddenly so close to her own that she could feel Emily's breath caressing her skin. JJ felt enchanted, possessed, the rest of the world shrinking away until there was nothing left but Emily and Emily's lips, which she was simply unable to resist. The few, final inches and -

A loud bang tore through the night, shattering the magic of the moment in a blink of an eye. Both women drew back, their heads whipping around and up to the sky where a constant stream of fireworks lit up open stretches of desert.

But JJ didn't really see the festival of lights before her. Blinking rapidly, she was unable to think of anything else but the fact that she had been within milliseconds of kissing Emily.

It was then that a realization of utter importance hit her. Her hands suddenly began to shake uncontrollably in her lap, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

The noise of the fireworks echoed off the rocks as loudly as her sudden realization ricocheted in her head.

***

Chapter VI

The faint ticking of a clock on the wall sounded through the darkened room. It had to have been close to 4am already as the last time JJ had checked the digits on her mobile phone screen it'd said 3:09.

She couldn't sleep, and not because she wasn't tired, because she was. In fact, she was absolutely exhausted. This marked the second night in a row that she'd just lain there, unable to close her eyes even for a second without images of Emily, and stars, and kissing Emily under those stars flashing through her mind.

JJ wasn't quite sure what had happened after the fireworks, but they'd somehow climbed down from the ledge and had returned to the party without a single word spoken between them. Or, rather, JJ had pretty much made it known that she wouldn't talk, and Emily had honored her wishes. The blonde had fled the party as soon as she could and had barricaded herself in her room. It was an incredibly immature thing to do, she knew it, but she simply couldn't have handled it then. Not that she was having any more luck now.

The problem was that she was incredibly attracted to Emily. There, JJ thought, she had finally acknowledged it, even if only to herself. She had no idea how it had happened, but she just knew that the things she felt when she was with Emily were something she'd never felt for anyone else before. When their almost-kiss had been cruelly interrupted, for one brief moment she'd been certain she'd die without feeling Emily's lips on hers. She'd almost kissed her. And oh, she'd wanted it. She'd wanted it more than anything. And that? That scared the hell out of her.

Swallowing hard, JJ squeezed the phone in her hand, contemplating for the umpteenth time whether to call Garcia or not. But what would she say to her? Hey, I almost kissed a cowgirl whose last name I don't even know, and I think I also might be totally gay for her. Garcia would call the state police to come and pick her up in that instant. Actually, she'd probably send the FBI Critical Incident Response Team to raid the entire place.

JJ buried her face in her hands, feeling so incredibly frustrated and scared that she thought she might burst. And God knows what Emily was feeling. JJ had been a total coward; she hadn't left her room all day in fear up bumping into the other woman. She simply couldn't face her. Not yet. Was she being selfish? Maybe, but for all she knew, Emily had only been having a little bit of fun.

Yet, the moment the thought entered her mind, JJ knew it wasn't true. She hadn't imagined the look of desire in Emily's eyes; she knew the brunette was just as attracted to her. Besides, Emily's conduct on the ledge had clearly implied that she didn't bring people there very often. All that probably should've made her feel somewhat at ease, but it didn't, because it also meant that there might actually be something between them. Something that JJ doubted she was ready for. Or maybe she was and the whole freaking out thing was simply her brain's way of protecting her from the inevitable heartbreak.

One thing was certain, the heartbreak was coming. JJ's entire life was in Virginia. At the beginning of August, she'd be heading back home, because she couldn't drop everything indefinitely; Agent Todd was only available as a replacement for her until August anyway. And Emily's life was here, at the ranch. The way she'd spoken about her old life back East wasn't terribly heartwarming, so it wasn't like Emily was planning on leaving this particular lifestyle anytime soon. And JJ was probably completely jumping the gun, because she had no idea how Emily felt about the whole situation. Another wave of guilt washed over her.

"You're such a coward, Jareau," she whispered in an annoyed tone as she flipped over, burying her face in the pillow.

***

Walking – the best way to sort out your thoughts. JJ had always resorted to long walks or jogs when she had too much on her mind and needed an outlet for it. She'd always feel refreshed and more in control once she got back – except now. If anything, she was even more confused and at a loss than before. The afternoon had already begun to turn to an early evening when she saw the first employee lodge houses in the distance, and she quickened her step so that she'd be back to the main house before it was too dark.

Following the river back towards the ranch, JJ was momentarily distracted from her personal problems by the memory of Noel Jackson going into one of the buildings in front of her. She bit her lower lip, pondering what to do, but, once again, the agent side of her finally won over, and she made her way towards the mysterious shed.

Fortunately, it was dark enough for her to move somewhat invisibly, and she tiptoed around the corner of the first house and slowly approached the one she was the most interested in. The windows were all nailed shut, and it was so dark inside that JJ couldn't see anything through the small cracks between the boards. Rounding to the front of the shed, she saw that there was a heavy padlock on the door, making it practically impossible to get in without making too much noise. She contemplated picking the lock, but she didn't have the necessary equipment, nor could she risk someone walking in on her.

Pursing her lips, JJ had to admit that she hadn't discovered anything new and let out an annoyed sigh. She ran a hand through her hair and decided to head back to her room; it wouldn't do her any good to just stand around. She obviously needed more planning.

Just as JJ had begun to walk across the yard, she spied Emily approaching from the opposite direction, and her heart dropped into her stomach. The brunette had probably finished her daily duties at the stables and was walking home, but JJ could only think that the timing simply couldn't be worse. Panicking slightly, she realized that she was too far from anything she could hide behind, and the colour drained from her face.

As if sensing she was being watched, Emily looked up and their eyes met. JJ could see an array of emotions pass across the other woman's face as they both stopped abruptly. Emily took off her signature cowboy hat, still intently looking at JJ, and was clearly about to walk over when the blonde spotted David walking her way. With a quick sidestep, she looped her arm through his, clearly taking him by surprise.

"David, hi. Would you mind walking me home?" She knew it was a horrible thing to do, and she didn't have a clue what had possessed her to do it, but there was no turning back now.

"Why, certainly." He tried to smile charmingly, but it was more smug than anything else.

As they walked towards the main building, JJ risked a glance at Emily, who was still standing in the same spot. The brunette was fiddling with her hat, her eyes cast down to the ground in defeat, and JJ's heart broke at the sight.

***

JJ felt an enormous bang of guilt hit her when she looked up at the clock. It was well past nine already, which meant she was late for the morning’s riding lesson, again. It was the second lesson she'd skipped, and much to her relief, Emily hadn't come looking for her.

Well, no wonder after the ridiculous way you've been acting, a familiar voice of conscience nagged at her, and JJ felt twice as mortified. She'd truly been horrible towards Emily without actually saying a word to her, but that hadn't been the worst. In order to avoid a confrontation with the brunette, JJ had resorted to David, and the sad excuse of a man had happily accepted the assignment.

"Some feminist you are," JJ scoffed and stared at the ceiling, all of a sudden having an overwhelming need to talk to someone. She had to call Garcia.

"Ooo, is it really my favourite cowgirl calling?" Garcia answered the phone after the second ring.

"Garcia, I really fucked up." She suddenly had a terrible urge to cry.

"Jay-J?" Garcia's voice immediately sobered up, and JJ knew she had the other woman's undivided attention.

"I just...I don't know what to do, and I just needed to talk to someone." She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she brushed it away angrily.

"JJ, what's happened?"

"I did something really stupid, and now I don't know how to make it better," she explained miserably.

"Okay?" Garcia said uncertainly. "Why don't you tell me everything, start from the beginning."

"You're going to hate me," JJ whispered.

"Sweetie, you know I could never hate you. You're too cute for that."

Gingerly, JJ began relating her story, but soon she realized that it was actually rather easy to confide in Garcia and that she really needed to get it all off her chest. The tech queen of the BAU listened silently, only uttering an encouraging word here and there. When JJ came to the end of her story, there was a brief silence on the other end.

"Well, I have to say, I was not expecting that," Garcia finally said, but the tone in her voice let JJ know that she wasn't, by any means, freaked out by what she'd just heard.

"I can't help it, Garcia," JJ said quietly, incredibly relieved now that her secret was out. "It's just that when I'm with her...I feel whole." She rolled her eyes at the cliché.

"And that's why you've been parading around with some local hillbilly the past week?" Garcia asked disapprovingly, making JJ's cheeks redden.

"I panicked, okay?"

"That's a load of bull, and you know it."

"It's not that easy!"

"Sure it is. You're just too afraid to accept any kind of happiness life might offer you, and I can't quite grasp why that is."

"I'm not afraid!" JJ felt anger rise within her at the implication.

"Yes, you are." The blonde agent had never heard Garcia be quite so serious and frank, and it unnerved her. "Why do you think you've been trying to kid yourself with Will all year?"

"Just leave him out of this. He has nothing to do with anything." JJ was ashamed to realize that she hadn't even thought about him during the entire time she'd been at the ranch.

"JJ, he has everything to do with it. Look, you called me because you wanted my advice. Before you can even think about sorting out this mess, you need to be honest with yourself first," Garcia said frankly, and JJ swallowed, knowing deep down that it was true.

"I need to go," she said after a few moments of silence and heard her best friend sigh.

"Take care of yourself, Girlfriend." JJ was glad the other woman let it be.

"I will." She disconnected the call and threw the phone on the bed, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms.

This is such a nightmare.

***

Chapter VII

JJ let a few days pass by before she figured she'd had enough. She couldn't hide in her room forever, no matter how much she feared facing the truth. Maybe it was the general frustration she felt, or the need to distract herself from all the angst, but something prompted her to find out more about Noel Jackson's strange antics.

Standing at the window of her bedroom, the blonde glanced up to the sky, noting the dark clouds that were gathering above, indicating an upcoming weather front. The yard and its surroundings seemed almost deserted as people had fled inside, away from the impending rain. JJ fiddled with the various, somewhat improvised, lock picking tools in her hand and then finally pocketed them, taking a deep breath before heading to the door.

Avoiding the certain floorboards that made a nasty creaking sound when stepped on, JJ managed to climb down the stairs and slip out of the door, hoping no one had noticed her departure. It was dark already, the ominous clouds making it seem like it was much later than it actually was.

Cautiously, she inched closer and closer to the mysterious building which stood at the brink of the river. Just like last time, it was dark inside, the cracks between the boards revealing nothing. JJ looked around her in the semi-darkness and, not seeing anything suspicious, squatted down so that she was on eyelevel with the gray padlock. Withdrawing the tools from her pocket, she got to work.

It had been awhile since the last time JJ had needed to pick a lock, but she hoped it was just like riding a bike. She soon noticed that the lack of light was, indeed, problematic and contemplated on using a small flashlight she'd taken with her, but finally decided against it. It would simply be too risky. Although the small warehouse was located on the edge of the housing area with only one side facing the houses that served as accommodation for the employees, JJ wanted to play it safe.

And really, she didn't actually have a clue what she was doing. She had no real evidence that Jackson was involved in anything shady or illegal, only her gut feeling which definitely wouldn't stand up in court. JJ shook her head as the ridiculousness of the situation dawned on her, once again.

The small click of the lock giving way sounded horribly loud in the quietness of the evening, and JJ hurriedly looked around her. Slowly, she slipped the opened lock through two metal rings that, together with the lock itself, had effectively kept all the undesired people out. She couldn't help feeling satisfied with herself when the door slid open as she turned the handle. With one final glance behind her, she slipped in and closed the door firmly behind her.

For a few seconds, JJ simply stood still in the pitch black room, not sure if this had been such a good idea after all. This really is the most insane thing you've ever done, she scolded herself, but figured she might as well go all the way since she was already more than halfway there. She switched on the small flashlight and looked around her, taking in her surroundings.

It was, indeed, a garden shed of some sort. Shelves and racks lined the walls from the floor to the ceiling, and there were four tall set of shelves in the middle of the room as well. It all seemed perfectly innocent: blankets, garden tools, mops... JJ walked closer, her eyes scanning the plethora of items around her. It wasn't until she'd rounded the first set of shelves in the middle that she noticed two large, metal boxes lining the back wall. Both were locked with two padlocks, albeit smaller ones than the one on the door, and JJ frowned.

Holding the flashlight between her teeth, she quickly picked the locks, curiosity bubbling inside of her like a geyser. Holding her breath, she slowly raised the lid of the first one, and her eyes widened when she saw what was inside.

Guns. Dozens of them and various kinds. JJ's eyes landed on a handgun similar to her own service one back home, and right next to it laid an M240G machine gun. She peered into the second box as well with the same result, finding at least two dozen firearms neatly organized inside. The bad feeling JJ had about Noel Jackson tripled in an instant, and with rapid movements, she slipped the locks back in place.

There was no way all the guns were legal, that much JJ was sure of. And what would a ranch owner need with a machine gun used by the US military anyway? Plus, although the guns were behind various locks, the warehouse was still an awfully public place to store them. Considering all the gardening tools and other everyday items, the employees must have used the shed pretty much daily. The risk of people stumbling upon the hidden arsenal at the back of the room was incredibly high.

The realization hit JJ like a ton of bricks.

"Unless they're involved in it as well." Again, whatever 'it' was.

JJ smacked her palm to her forehead, reproaching herself for being so thick. And then an extremely unpleasant thought crossed her mind, her hand sliding slowly off her face. Emily worked for Noel Jackson. She couldn't possibly...there was no way she would... JJ refused to acknowledge what her new theory clearly implied. She liked to think she knew Emily, and even if she didn't know her background, exactly where she came from, she knew Emily, the person. And the person she knew would never get mixed up in anything like this. A small voice at the back of her head sneered at her for being so incredibly naïve, but she effectively ignored it.

The first drops of rain fell from the sky when JJ hurriedly closed and locked the door behind her, all the while stealing glances over her shoulder to make sure she was still alone. It didn't take long until the rain came down with full force, soaking her blue shirt before she had a chance to take more than a step or two. Shit! Hurrying forward, she rounded the corner of the first house, only to run into something solid. She stumbled backwards, her eyes landing on the woman who had controlled her every waking thought for weeks now.

Emily looked just as surprised as JJ felt herself, and for a few, torturous seconds they simply stared at each other. Water ran down Emily's face, and her check-patterned flannel shirt stuck to her skin, accentuating the perfect curves of her body. JJ caught herself staring at the utter perfection in front of her and tore her eyes quickly away.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," she mumbled, not meeting Emily's eyes, and proceeded to walk past her.

It didn't really surprise her that much when she felt a hand grasp her arm, effectively, but not forcefully, stopping her. She looked up into sad eyes and took a steadying breath to calm herself. She could feel the warmth of Emily's body, just like that night on the ledge when she'd almost kissed her, and her heart automatically started beating faster.

"What?" JJ asked, her voice audibly quivering.

"Have I offended you somehow?" Emily asked, not letting go of the blonde's arm.

"No."

"Have I done something to upset you?" The amount of anguish in the other woman's voice made JJ want to cry.

"No." The reply was barely a whisper.

"So why are you avoiding me then?"

"Let go of me, please." She wasn’t ready. She wasn't ready for this.

"Not until we sort this out," Emily stated adamantly, not giving an inch.

"Please, Emily." Her voice was so pleading she wanted to die.

"Jennifer, I thought we were friends. You've given me nothing but shit this past week, and I think I have the right to know why!"

"I don't need to explain myself to you, okay?" JJ's eyes flashed. She brushed matted hair off her forehead, challenging the other woman with her gaze. She expected an angry retort, a frustrated comeback perhaps. Anything, but the softening of Emily's eyes and the searching look she aimed at her.

"What are you afraid of, Jennifer?" Emily asked quietly, the words barely audible above the woosh of rain.

"Nothing." She wrenched her arm away, and Emily didn't resist.

"Yes, you are." Their rapid breaths came out in white puffs as the rain had significantly lowered the temperature, but neither of them noticed.

"Don't, Emily. Just...don't." JJ shook her head, trying to quell the tears that threatened to fall. The direction their conversation was heading was dangerous to say the least.

"What is it?" JJ couldn't stand the tenderness of Emily's voice. How in the world was the other woman able to get to her so easily and so effortlessly?

"No!" she exclaimed and turned around, wanting to flee the scene as quickly as she possibly could.

"Jennifer." That one word, that one goddamn word and the way Emily had said it, froze JJ to the spot. Afraid to turn around and face the other woman, she just stood there, shivering and unable to take another step.

"Look at me, please." With the amount of emotion Emily had been able to interject into her simple plea, JJ had no coice but to slowly turn around, her eyes unable to conceal anything from the woman standing before her.

"I can't do this." JJ shook her head, painfully aware of how much the older woman's presence affected her.

"Do what?"

"This!"

"Yes, you can! What do you want, Jennifer?"

"I don't know what I want!"

"Don't give me that bullshit. What do you want?"

"Emily, I'm warning you."

"What do you want?"

"I want you!"

It was out before JJ had time to think, leaving only silence in its wake. She could feel her face grow pale and watched as Emily blinked once, twice, before taking a few, quick steps and then she was standing before her, her eyes dark and full of wonder. Warm, perfect lips landed on hers, and whatever barrier JJ had tried to maintain between her and Emily had been blown away like a piece of paper in a storm. Her arms wrapped around the brunette's neck, and she could feel herself melting into the kiss that, she was sure, would consume her whole.

"I just want you," JJ whispered between kisses and felt Emily's arms hold on to her even tighter. She didn't care that tears were still falling down her cheeks or that she was soaking wet from the rain. She didn't care that the whole thing was irrational and so not her and that there was still a side of Emily she felt the other woman didn't want to let her see. No, she only cared about the small jolts of electricity Emily's touch seemed to generate, about how wonderful Emily's lean body felt against her own, and how perfectly their lips fit together when they embraced.

"You have me." Emily's reply was just as breathless a whisper, her arms enveloping JJ in a warm cocoon she never wanted to leave.

The warm air washing over them raised goosebumps on their skin when they stumbled across the threshold to Emily's small living space. Clothes were scattered randomly on the floor, but neither bothered to pay attention to anything else but the other. Emily's lips were intoxicating, and JJ knew she was already addicted to them for life.

Emily's skin was smooth and perfect as JJ ran her trembling fingers across the brunette's chest, in awe at the perfection she discovered after every piece of clothing had been removed. Emily's mouth left JJ's and travelled down her neck, the blonde's nails digging almost painfully into the other woman's back in reaction. She felt the back of her knees hit the side of a bed, and with one gentle push by Emily, JJ found herself laying supine on the soft sheets, Emily's warm body covering hers.

It was the most natural thing in the world and just as perfect as it was supposed to be. Emily was everywhere, surrounding her, gentle hands worshipping JJ's body, leaving her gasping and breathless. The way Emily made love to her was pure magic, like she knew exactly where to touch her and when. Burying her hands in Emily's long, dark hair, JJ brought the older woman's lips back on her own and knew that she was forever ruined for anyone else.

***

It was warm and comfortable when JJ gradually woke up from a deep sleep she couldn't remember experiencing in a very long time. She inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of a certain cowgirl filling her senses, and a happy smile slowly spread on her lips. She pressed closer to the soft body under her and, in a movement that felt nothing but natural, buried her face in the crook of Emily's neck as if she'd done it countless times before. A hand lay on her back, drawing small circles on her naked skin, and a tiny shiver went down her spine and ended up somewhere south of her navel.

"Morning, beautiful," Emily spoke softly and kissed the top of JJ's head.

"Morning." The blonde's voice was partly muffled by Emily's neck. She stretched her legs and finally looked up to the gentle eyes she knew were aimed at her. The look of utter adoration JJ saw in them made her blush, a shy smile the only way she could respond.

"You're adorable when you blush," Emily murmured, leaning forward and capturing the blonde's lips with her own. JJ sighed contently, relaxing into the kiss and revelling in the feeling that she’d never before felt this content and at peace with herself after waking up with someone.

"You up for some breakfast?" Emily asked when they were finally able to pry themselves apart.

"I'd love some." JJ nodded, only then realizing how famished she was.

With one final peck on JJ's lips, Emily stood up and grabbed an oversized t-shirt from the closet next to the bed, throwing it on while she made her way to the small kitchen area on the other side of the room. When JJ was finally able to tear her eyes away from the other woman's backside, she truly saw the room she was in for the first time. It was small and simply furnished, and it didn't seem like Emily spent much time in it. There were no such personal belongings you'd expect to find in a person's home: no photographs of any kind on display, walls that were completely bare, and the whole place lacking the feel of hominess.

"Penny for your thoughts." Emily's voice brought JJ back to reality, and she studied the woman standing across the room from her for a moment before answering.

"I was just thinking that you probably don't spend much time here." She made a vague gesture with her hand.

"I only sleep here, really. Most of my days are spent at the stables and around the ranch," Emily explained, breaking an egg on the edge of a hot frying pan.

"When was the last time you went home?" It was the brunette's turn to be silent.

"I haven't been back since I left." There was something in Emily's voice that JJ couldn't quite decipher.

"Do you miss it?"

"Every now and again, I suppose." The older woman shrugged indifferently before turning towards the bed. "I meant what I said on that boulder. I don't really have anything to go back to, and I love working with horses, so it's not that bad."

JJ watched silently as Emily continued working on breakfast, putting the fried egg on toast, and adding a little salt. Her mouth watered as Emily approached the bed and handed her a plate, and it wasn't until then that her eyes landed on a small flower decorating the edge of it.

"Where did you get this?" she asked incredulously and carefully raised the white flower that looked like a fancy version of a daisy. In its simplicity, it was absolutely gorgeous.

"I went hiking the other day." Emily shrugged, clearly sheepish about the whole thing. "It's stupid, really."

"What's it called?"

"It's a White Marsh Marigold. They're typical for the mountains in the area."

"It's beautiful," JJ said in wonder, her eyes tracing the small and elegant petals. She looked up at the brunette who was still fidgeting next to the bed. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." Emily cleared her throat, her cheeks red. She gestured towards the toast, clearly wanting to shift the attention away from herself. "It's nothing special. I don't really have much stuff in my fridge," Emily said apologetically, but JJ waved it off with her hand.

"This is really good," she said, her mouth full. Emily chuckled and fetched her own plate from the kitchen counter before returning to sit on the bed.

"This may sound weird, but..." JJ bit her bottom lip, pondering how to continue. "Although I don't know much about you, I feel like I...well, know you." She snorted. "Okay, that didn't make any sense at all."

"No, it did," Emily assured her, her eyes warm and understanding like so many times before. "I know exactly what you mean," she added, and JJ felt her heart skip a beat.

They finished their breakfast in silence, and Emily took the dishes back to the sink, JJ's eyes intently following her every move. The blonde couldn't understand how she could be so turned on by simply looking at someone, but Emily had that exact effect on her. JJ's eyes roamed up long, muscled legs and she felt her pulse quicken the closer she got to the hem of the t-shirt Emily was still wearing.

"You really should stop looking at me like that." Emily's voice was nothing short of amused.

"Like what?" JJ blushed. Again.

"Like you want to rip this t-shirt from my body." The brunette walked slowly back to the bed, but remained standing.

"Why?" JJ swallowed, the close proximity of the other woman already making her brain go haywire.

"Because otherwise I'm going to do this," Emily murmured and leaned down, capturing the blonde's lips in a passionate kiss that left JJ's head reeling.

"Well, you certainly don't hear me complaining," she managed to utter in a small voice and heard Emily laugh before plush, soft lips descended on hers again and thinking became a completely alien concept to her.

***

Chapter VIII

JJ could feel the strength and the beautiful elegance of the palomino beneath her as she sat in the saddle. They galloped through the field, and as the stables drew nearer, JJ pulled back the reins a little and the horse slowed down to a trot. It still boggled her mind that she was actually riding, really riding, without someone else holding her hand while she did it. JJ saw Emily leaning her back against the fence, her eyes proudly following the blonde's every move.

"That was perfect, Jennifer," she complimented when the horse came to a halt and JJ dismounted.

"I can't believe I never even thought about riding before," she said, her cheeks flushed and a wide smile on her lips.

"Well, you're a natural." Emily took the reins and stroked the horse's soft neck. Then she peered at JJ, looking almost shy. "Would you be willing to take that mountain trip next week, the one I was talking about when all this riding business started?"

"Wow, you think I could?" It was one thing to ride in the enclosure, but riding cross-country was a whole different venture.

"Easily. The path to the mountains is even and well-travelled; it'd be just like riding in the field here."

"If you think I can..." JJ cleared her throat, looking down at the ground to hide her nervousness; the prospect of leaving the safety of the ranch on horseback unnerved her more than she cared to admit. She felt Emily take her hand and was met with tender, brown eyes when she finally looked up.

"Jennifer, I would never ask you do anything I didn't know you were capable of," Emily said softly, her thumb gently rubbing across the back of JJ's hand.

How does she do that? JJ wondered for the millionth time and relented.

"Okay, I'd love to go," she said sincerely.

"Great! I have a day off on Tuesday, how's that for you?" Emily asked as they walked the palomino back to its stall.

"Tuesday's perfect," JJ agreed, excitement evident in her voice.

"It's a date then." Emily grinned widely as she closed the gate of the stall once the horse was inside and slipped the bolt in place.

JJ turned to head to the door, but before she could take more than a step or two, a hand on her arm easily spun her around. She bumped against Emily who was standing right behind her, and she saw the mischievous look in the older woman's eyes before soft lips captured her own.

"What was that for?" JJ asked playfully when they finally broke apart. She closed her eyes and giggled as Emily kissed the tip of her nose.

"Do I need a reason to kiss my favourite student?"

"You only have one."

"Doesn't mean you aren't my favourite."

"Smartass."

JJ swore she would never get tired of kissing Emily. It was nearly impossible to describe what she felt when their lips locked and tongues fought for dominance. She'd never thought kissing could be such an overwhelming experience. Quite frankly, she'd always thought that it was highly overrated, but with Emily, she knew exactly what all the trashy romance books were talking about.

"Emily!" A booming male voice sounded from outside the building, and the two women couldn't have jumped apart faster. They were still standing in the middle of the stables, their faces flushed, when Noel Jackson walked inside.

"Mr. Jackson?" Emily asked nonchalantly, but JJ could hear a sheepish lilt in her tone.

"Ah, Miss Jareau." Jackson tipped his hat at her. "How's your day been so far?"

"Fine, thank you." JJ tried to sound as normal as possible.

"Excellent." Jackson said, but there wasn't a trace of sincerity in his voice. His eyes finally turned to Emily. "Emily, I was wondering if you have a moment." He quirked his brow meaningfully, and JJ saw Emily's demeanour change from the corner of her eye.

"Certainly," she replied tensely. "Jennifer, can you give us a moment?"

JJ looked between the two and nodded, making a hasty exit. She stepped outside, burying her hands in her jeans pockets and casually glanced back, her curiosity getting the better of her. She saw Emily nodding, her hands making a calming gesture to Jackson whose back was to the blonde. The brunette's eyes strayed to JJ for a moment, and she could see Emily swallow nervously before returning her attention back to the man before her.

Turning her eyes away, JJ took a shaky breath and walked over to lean against the fence. She rubbed her forehead anxiously and pondered what she should do. Nothing! It's none of your business, the rational part of her brain exclaimed, but the rest of her couldn't just let it be. Seeing the array of guns in the shed had convinced her that, besides running the ranch, Noel Jackson certainly had some other, most probably illegal, business on the side. But she couldn't very well run to the police and demand they arrest him, because she still didn't have enough evidence, and what she did have had been acquired only semi-legally. Nor could she do it anyway, because, in all probability, it would only spook whoever else was involved.

And then there was Emily. JJ closed her eyes and sighed. No matter what she thought about it—and lately she hadn't really thought about anything else—Emily had to be involved somehow; she just couldn't figure out how. There was something that JJ couldn't quite put her finger on, something Emily closed off from everybody, and it both frustrated and fascinated her at the same time.

The agent side of her was absolutely horrified that she was actually able to look past all that, but whenever Emily simply looked at her, JJ forgot about everything else. And the way Emily's eyes softened in her presence, the amount of happiness she could see in them, was all the proof she needed, because no one could fake the emotions JJ saw shimmering in those beautiful brown eyes.

Besides, she had no idea what was going on between them anyway. A summer fling before returning back to the grind? How high school-ish, she thought. All she knew was that she wanted to be with Emily all the time, and if she needed to give that up in a month's time, so be it. But right now, she simply wanted to enjoy the moment and that moment included Emily, criminal or not.

JJ was so engrossed in her thoughts that she hadn't realized Emily was again standing next to her until she felt a hand on the small of her back.

"Jesus!" She nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Are you okay?" Emily chuckled at her reaction.

"Yeah, sorry. I was...thinking," JJ explained, a shaky hand still on her chest.

"What about?" Emily asked, propping her elbow against the fence and leaning her head against her hand.

Like always, Emily's eyes were nothing but sincere, and JJ decided to bite the bullet.

"I was actually thinking of Noel Jackson," she admitted and leaned against a fence post.

"Okay, can't say I saw that one coming. Should I feel threatened?" Emily joked and chuckled, receiving a playful slap on the arm.

"I'm serious. There's something weird about him."

"What do you mean?" Emily stood up straight, the nervous reaction not lost on JJ.

"It's just this feeling I get whenever he's around. Like he has something to hide."

"Everybody has something to hide, Jennifer."

The comment hung heavily between them.

"I just don't trust him, that's all," JJ finally continued, not willing to acknowledge that she was hiding a big part of herself as well, a quite essential part.

"Noel Jackson is your stereotypical chauvinist straight guy," Emily said and shrugged. "Just try to ignore him."

"I...I have a friend back home. She works for someone who has access to certain...resources." JJ hesitated momentarily before continuing. "I could ask her to check him out, just in case-,"

"No!" JJ's head snapped up at Emily's harsh tone.

"I just-," she began, but was cut again off by the frantic Emily.

"No, Jennifer!" She shook her head, her hand gripping JJ's arm. "Don't go anywhere near him, do you understand me?"

"Emily, relax." JJ frowned, taken aback by the sheer panic that loomed behind Emily's eyes.

"Promise me, Jennifer." Emily still wouldn't let go of her arm. "Promise me, you'll leave it be."

"Okay, I promise, I promise," she assured the brunette, raising her right hand to a calming gesture, much like she'd seen the other woman do with Jackson only minutes earlier.

"Good." Emily let out a sigh, her whole being gradually relaxing again. "It's just that he can be really nasty when he wants to. Better not piss him off any more than we need to," she tried to explain. JJ nodded, but she knew Emily didn’t believe for a second that she had the blonde convinced.

"You up for some dinner?" JJ finally asked, cutting through the awkward silence that had fallen between them. She saw Emily smile in relief.

"I'd love some." She gestured towards the yard. "Lead the way."

And just like that, things were back to normal.

***

JJ's phone lay in the middle of the bed, the blonde eyeing it from where she was standing at the window. Biting her lower lip, she nervously tapped her fingers against the window sill and tried to reach a decision.

"Oh, for God's sakes," she finally muttered, snatching the phone off the bed and sitting down on the soft mattress. She was an FBI agent. The curiosity would kill her.

"Well, good morning sunshine," Garcia answered the phone in her usual eccentric way.

"Garcia, I need you to run a name for me." JJ opted to go straight to business.

"And here I thought you wanted to talk to your best friend who you miss so much it's unbearable," Garcia feigned hurt, but JJ heard a chair creak as the computer tech wheeled herself closer to her beloved monitors.

"Noel Jackson. I want to know if we have anything on file."

"Noel Jackson? As in the ranch owner?" JJ could practically hear the frown Garcia was more than likely wearing in her voice.

"The one and the same. I just...I have a weird feeling about him, that's all," JJ explained, not wanting to let on just how much she knew.

"I thought you were supposed be vacationing, taking some time off from criminal hunting. Right, let's see." Garcia's fingers tapped against the keyboard, and JJ bit her nail in anticipation. "Hmm. That's odd."

"What is?" JJ stood up, unable to stay still.

"There's a file, but it's confidential. Only accessible to people way above our heads."

"Well, can't you get past that? It is an FBI file."

"Of course I could get past it, Sweetie. Remember who you're talking to? It's just that if I do, it's bound to leave a trace and, quite frankly, that's the last thing I need."

"Damn," JJ muttered, not liking this new twist at all.

"What's this about, JJ?"

"I told you, just a weird feeling I have," she replied absentmindedly.

"Uh-huh." Garcia obviously wasn't convinced. "Did you need anything else?"

"Actually, yes." She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She just had to know. "Can you pull the employment records for Sunrise Valley?"

"JJ..." Garcia's voice was hesitant.

"Garcia, I need to know."

"Fine." Garcia relented. "What do you want to know, O' Curious One?" she finally asked after a moment of typing.

"You know what I want to know."

"I'm so going to regret this later," the computer whizz mumbled, but obliged nevertheless. "We have one Emily Thomas, is that her?"

"I..." JJ suddenly realized that she still didn't even know Emily's last name. Thomas? "Yeah, there's only one Emily here as far as I know."

"Wow, this is quite odd as well."

"What?" JJ was afraid to ask.

"It says here that she was employed by Jackson a little over two years ago, but when I try going further back, there's nothing.

"What do you mean there's nothing?"

"Exactly that. There's nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. It's like she didn't exist before 2006."

"What, you mean like a Witness Protection Program kind of a thing?" JJ asked incredulously.

"All I know is that your Emily has a driver's licence, a social security card, and the works, but they're all dated post January 2006," Garcia explained.

"Right." JJ suddenly felt nauseous and sat down on the side of the bed. "That doesn't look too good, does it?"

"Jay-J." Her best friend's voice was full of sympathy. "It does look a little shady, yes," she finally admitted, sighing.

"God," JJ muttered and covered her face with her hand. "Just my luck, huh?" she said miserably.

"There might be some other explanation," Garcia tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, I'm sure." JJ scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Hon."

"Yeah, me too."

"What are you going to do?"

JJ pondered the question for a few moments, contemplating her options.

"I don't really know," she answered truthfully. "I mean, I'm leaving in three weeks anyway, right? Might just as well enjoy the time we have left."

"Sounds like a plan," Garcia said softly.

"God, why is my life such a mess?"

"We can't choose who we fall in love with, JJ."

"What? I'm not...," JJ tried to deny it, but then realized it was pointless. Garcia had always been able to see right through her. "This is shit, Garcia."

"Girlfriend, when life gives you lemons, you stuff them in your bra to make your boobs look bigger."

There was a brief silence before JJ started howling with laughter.

"God, I love you, Garcia," she managed to utter between giggles, so very grateful for having someone like Garcia in her life.

***

The ride to the mountains had been just as easy and uncomplicated as Emily had said. Although being completely out of her comfort zone, JJ had enjoyed every minute of it and followed Emily's lead with ease. The sun had been scorching hot, and sweat had glued JJ's white shirt to her skin, but now that she was looking over the desert plain that spread out for miles before her, she figured that it'd definitely been worth it.

Snuggling closer to the warm body behind her, JJ sighed contently, wishing they could stay where they were forever. The dry and inhabited land seemed like a paradise to her. She felt calm and free, a combination she hadn't realized she missed, but now was certain she couldn't live without.

"What are you thinking about?" Emily asked quietly, her arm wrapping tighter around the blonde's midsection. They were sitting on a ledge very similar to the one of the Fourth of July festivities, but this time they were much higher up from the ground.

"That I wish I never had to leave this place," she replied truthfully.

"I know what you mean," Emily said wistfully, and JJ covered the hand on her stomach with her own.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy," JJ confessed quietly, surprised that it was so easy to confess something so personal out loud.

She felt Emily move slightly, and then there were fingers under her chin as Emily tipped her head up and brought their lips together. It was perfect; the kiss, the scenery, everything. And JJ couldn't understand how someone mixed up in illegal activities could be so, well, perfect.

"Jennifer..." The hesitation in Emily's voice was clearly noticeable. "There's, umm, something...something I need to tell you. About me."

JJ swallowed, preparing for the worst, and leaned back slightly so that she could see Emily properly. The look on the brunette's face was that of indecision and uneasiness – something JJ had never witnessed before.

"What is it?" she gently probed, although she wasn't certain she was ready for the answer.

"I..." JJ could practically see the wall go back up, before Emily turned her eyes away. When she glanced back, her gaze was warm and loving, but the earlier vulnerability was long gone. "I'm really happy with you as well."

It was said with utter sincerity, and although JJ felt a small pang of disappointment somewhere deep inside her, she couldn't help the watery smile that spread on her face. Leaning forward, she captured Emily’s lips with her own and decided to simply enjoy the moment – her personal motto during the past months.

"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" JJ asked playfully when they'd settled back into their previous position. She buried her head in the crook of Emily's neck – a place she now loved the most in the world. She felt completely safe in the brunette's arms, which, again, didn't compute with the idea she had about being in the company of criminals.

"Summer camp." Emily's reply was dead serious.

"Oh, really?" JJ chuckled.

"Oh, yes. It was Kelly, my first love. We couldn't take our hands off of each other."

"What happened to her?"

"The last time I heard she was married with three kids."

"Oh well, more for me," JJ quipped and kissed Emily softly behind the ear. She felt a shiver run through the older woman.

"I don't want you to leave." The admission was said so quietly that JJ almost didn't hear it. She pulled back, her hand cupping Emily's cheek as she looked into sad brown eyes.

"I don't want to go either, but I don't have a choice. My job, everything..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "Can we just forget all that? We still have more than two weeks."

Emily nodded, putting on a brave face. She covered JJ's hand with her own, entwining their fingers together, and took a steadying breath.

"Two weeks is a long time," she said. JJ wasn't sure if Emily was trying to convince herself or the blonde. "We'll get you riding real cross-country by that time." Emily cracked a smile.

"Yeah, right." JJ snorted. "How long have you been riding, anyway?"

"Since I was three."

"Wow. I was still learning how to walk properly at that age."

"My family owned a farm, with horses, so it was just a natural step to take." Emily's voice had taken on a nostalgic tone.

"I bet they didn't teach you rodeo back then," JJ said, remembering the first time she'd seen the brunette atop a bucking bronco.

"No, that came when I was a lot older." Emily chuckled. "Not that I ever seriously considered taking it up. It can be really cruel to the animals. Rollo, he's the only horse here who has the temperament for rodeo, but we only do it for show at times."

"Well, you were amazing."

"Thank you," Emily murmured, clearly flattered by the compliment.

"My parents couldn't really afford any fancy hobbies, so I just played soccer."

"Were you any good?"

"I got a college scholarship to play," JJ admitted sheepishly, feeling like she was boasting.

"Really? You must've been brilliant." Emily was sincerely impressed. "Yeah, I was an only child and my parents were...sort of diplomats, so I guess money wasn't really an issue. We travelled a lot, though."

"So you lived abroad a lot?"

"Most of my childhood."

"Wow." The lifestyle Emily had just described was so unfamiliar to JJ that she couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like.

"It had its advantages, like learning different languages, but it also meant that I couldn't create any lasting friendships, or get accustomed to things before I was dragged away to yet another country again." Resentment in Emily's voice came through loud and clear.

"So you can speak other languages beside English?" JJ decided to stay on safe ground.

"A few." Emily's answer was elusive.

"Say something in some other language."

"Like what?"

"Anything. Say something in...Spanish."

Emily was quiet for a moment, and JJ was about to repeat the request when the brunette began to speak in a whispered tone.

"Creo que te quiero, cariño. Te quiero mucho, y no sé que hacer." JJ was mesmerized by the softly spoken words.

"That was beautiful. What did you say?"

"Oh, just...just something random." Emily cleared her throat, sounding uncomfortable, and JJ didn't pressure. She only wished she'd taken Spanish in high school instead of French.

They fell silent, both simply content to be. The sun had reached its zenith long ago, and with every passing minute, it descended closer and closer to the Western horizon again. JJ heard Emily sigh, knowing that the other woman was aware of the dwindling time as well. She pressed closer to the warm body behind her and closed her eyes, wishing that time would just stop and leave them alone.

***

Part 3

fic: criminal minds - keeper of the winds [emily/jj] 1/3

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:20:37 GMT

Title: Keeper of the Winds (1/3)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 10,470
Rating: R
Summary: In need of some time-off from the BAU, JJ ends up on a remote ranch in New Mexico and stumbles upon an unexpected adventure involving crooks and a certain cowgirl.
A/N: Wow, after a year in the making, it's finally finished! This is semi-AU, as in Emily never joined the BAU back in Season 2. Includes random spoilers for all four seasons.
A huge thank you to darandkerry for beta (all mistakes are mine and mine alone), to cactusgirluk for fangirly support along the way, as well as to racethewind10 for putting up with my ridiculously ignorant questions.

"Hello cowgirl in the sand
Is this place at your command
Can I stay here for awhile
Can I see your sweet sweet smile?"

- Indigo Girls: Cowgirl in the Sand

***

PROLOGUE

Rain fell heavily from the dark sky, the dry sand absorbing every drop of water as the vegetation desperately battled for the precious liquid of life. The night was darker than usual, a thick layer of clouds blocking even the faintest hint of moonlight there might've been.

A figure was hunched over a small hole in the ground, not noticing the wetness, or the nearly impenetrable darkness. A flashlight lit the area of a few square feet, giving just enough light for him to distinguish his immediate surroundings, but still giving adequate cover to hide from possible passers-by. With urgency, a big, black duffel bag was dropped into the quickly dug hole, and the man took one final peek at the square plastic bags inside. Satisfied by what he saw, he grabbed a shovel and quickly covered the treasure with moist earth, his breath coming out in white puffs. To finish off the job, he dragged a large stone on top of the exact spot, so that it could easily be recognized when needed.

With a final huff, the silent figure stood up straight and glanced around to make sure no one was watching. He picked up the shovel and the flashlight, and started making his way through the rain and further into the darkness, a lightness in his step now evident as the mission had been successfully completed. What he didn't know, however, was that although he had been extremely careful, creeping through the night seemingly unnoticed, someone not too far away had been watching his every step through the curtain of rain. The observer, hidden from the view by a large rock, watched the digger walk further and further into the blackness of the night, a faint smile playing on full lips when the darkness finally swallowed the unsuspecting figure completely.

***

Chapter I

The scenery flashed by rapidly, the desert sand refracting sunlight with different shades of yellow and orange, and the stunted and barely green vegetation desperately trying to survive in the dry land. But Jennifer Jareau didn't really pay attention to her surroundings. The car sped along a narrow road, raising a thick cloud of dust in its wake and, thus, alerting anyone within a two-mile radius of its whereabouts.

From the backseat, JJ glanced briefly at the middle-aged man behind the wheel, silently noting that the promised half an hour journey had already turned into 45 minutes. Not that she was in a hurry, quite the contrary; for the first time in what seemed like forever, she had all the time in the world.

Dropping her eyes at her entwined hands in her lap, JJ wondered, for the millionth time, if her decision to take a vacation had been a good idea after all. It had certainly been long overdue; she had enough vacation days to have six months off if she wanted. But being the team liaison for the BAU was a job that required dedication, and, during the last five years, JJ hadn't even thought of taking time off unless forced. Not until now.

It had all begun innocently enough, a sleepless night here and there, a bad day every now and again. It wasn't until the past few months that she'd realized how stressed out and utterly spent she was and how her lack of motivation for her work affected the entire team. And that's when she had known she needed to get away for a little while. Because when you can't do your job because of your job, it was time to consider what your priorities were.

Aaron Hotchner, their team leader, had immediately granted her the vacation time – the speed with which he'd agreed to her request told JJ that she hadn't simply imagined the graveness of the situation.

Three months. Three months to do anything but think of her job. JJ had protested at first, thinking that 90 days was a lifetime and that she'd go crazy in that time, but Hotch had remained adamant and told her to take it in such a tone that she hadn't even contemplated arguing. A quick detour to Garcia's office and a few well-placed keystrokes, and she'd booked herself a three-month vacation on a remote ranch near Santa Fe in New Mexico.

It certainly isn't Virginia, JJ thought as she glanced through the window and saw nothing but cacti and sand with rocks scattered randomly around. The change, compared to the East, was so radical that she involuntarily swallowed, once again desperately trying to convince herself that she'd made the right decision. She'd only been to New Mexico once before, when a string of ritualistic murders had peaked the BAU's interest a couple of years previously.

Suddenly, JJ's phone in her jean's pocket began vibrating, and she gingerly dug it out and peered at the flashing screen. The text spelled 'Will calling,' and a wave of exchaustion shot through her. Promptly pressing the red button, JJ ended the call before it could even begin, and at that moment, she knew she'd done the right thing by simply leaving everything and only giving time to herself for once.

Turning off her phone and pocketing it once more, JJ leaned her forehead against the window and let out a relieved sigh. She'd be just fine.

***

It was exactly thirty minutes after the promised arrival time that the driver drove through a wooden gate with a sign that read "Sunrise Valley," and the car came to a halt a few minutes later. JJ stepped out gingerly and inspected her surroundings that would be her home for the next few months.

It was your avarage ranch, all right. There was a bigger, two-storey house to her right that had to be the main building with rooms for the guests, but then there were also several smaller houses in the distance and all around her. On the far left, JJ could see the stables and other buildings that weren't meant for accommodation, and when she turned around her eyes landed on a small river—a tributary of the Rio Grande no doubt—that lined the southern border of the property.

All in all, it was extremely idyllic, and JJ could feel her spirits rise a little with every new thing her brain registered as she looked about her.

"Good day, Ma'am," a booming male voice said from her left, and the blonde turned to see a man in his fifties swaggering towards her. He was dressed like a stereotypical cowboy, everything from silver-colored spurs and black boots to a handsome Stetson cowboy hat that he politely took off when offering his hand to JJ.

"You must be Miss Jareau." His smile was blinding. JJ took his hand and shook it while smiling back politely. "My name's Noah. Noah Jackson. I'm the owner of this paradise."

"Pleased to meet you." JJ nodded once. For some reason, she was slightly taken aback by Mr. Jackson, his large form and his over-the-top conduct feeling somewhat off. Pushing the immediate thoughts of profiling aside, JJ turned back to the driver who had already unloaded her two suitcases and was carrying them towards the main house.

"Let Juan take care of your luggage, we have a room waiting for you on the second floor," Jackson said when he saw her line of sight. "So, welcome to Sunrise Valley, Miss Jareau. Would you be interested in a little tour around our immediate surroundings before I show you to your room? So that you'd be able to explore the area more thoroughly on your own once you've settled in?"

JJ groaned inwardly, feeling the exhaustion of her long trip in every muscle of her body, but she didn't want to start off her stay at the ranch on the wrong foot and figured that a small walk wouldn't kill her.

"Sure," JJ gingerly agreed, her eyes still on the retreating form of the driver, Juan, who was now climbing the few stairs that led to the terrace and the main door. Juan had picked her up from the Santa Fe Municipal Airport—a service that was offered to all visitors—which had made JJ's life a whole lot easier. Tearing her gaze away from him, she turned fully to Mr. Jackson, smiled, and followed him as he started to make his way across the yard.

The area really was breathtakingly beautiful. With every new step, JJ mentally thanked Garcia whose idea it'd been to ship her as far away from the Virginia climate as possible. Mr. Jackson gestured animatedly at everything and explained enthusiastically the history and stories behind different buildings and other man-made structures. It amused JJ how everyone she saw and was introduced to on her makeshift tour had been dressed like they'd stepped right out of a John Wayne movie, but at the same time, she felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb in her blue jeans and white top.

"This is David," Jackson said as he introduced JJ to yet another cowboy. "He takes care of my cattle which are just over that ridge." He pointed towards a fairly large hill in the distance.

"Nice to meet ya," David said with a strong Texan-like twang as he tipped his hat in acknowledgement. He appeared to be thirty-something, blonde haired, and fairly well-built. He practically oozed confidence, a stereoptype which nearly made JJ roll her eyes.

"Likewise," JJ replied politely, and then they were walking again.

"I have about twenty-five people working for me around here," Mr. Jackson explained and tipped his hat to yet another cowboy look-a-like whose spurs made a faint clinking sound as he walked by. "I have people from riding instructors to maids, and they're all at your service as well, Miss Jareau."

JJ nodded politely and was about to ask him more about the possible pastime activities when there was excited yelling and commotion behind her, causing her to turn around. People, guests and employees alike, had gathered around a corral near the stables and were watching a figure riding a mean-looking horse in full rodeo style.

JJ craned her neck in order to see better, and, fascinated by what she saw, made her way closer to the fence. She barely noticed the slightly irritated look on Mr. Jackson's face, her eyes transfixed on the scene before her. The blonde was more than a little surprised when she got close enough to realize that the rider was actually a woman, a woman to whom this clearly wasn't the first time atop a rodeo horse.

Similarly to all the men JJ had come across since her arrival at the ranch, the woman in the center of the arena was also dressed in boots with spurs, jeans, a lapelled shirt that hugged her trimmed body, and a black cowboy hat that persistently stuck to her head even when the horse made abrupt, bucking movements.

"That's Emily, one of my stable workers," Mr. Jackson had to raise his voice in order to be heard as the crowd cheered wildly at the spectacle they were witnessing. JJ nodded absent-mindedly, strangely reluctant to tear her eyes away from the woman who seemed to be right at home and in her element as she fought against the clearly pissed-off animal.

"She's good," JJ shouted back, still not looking at the man she was speaking to.

"She's a show-off," he grumbled, and JJ had to hide an amused smile that threatened to make an appearance. Mr. Jackson was quite clearly jealous of the attention his employee was getting, and JJ could easily see why.

The black stallion bucked sharply, and the spectators gasped when it looked like the rider might finally come to the end of her road, but, like a true expert, she managed to hold on, only losing her hat in the process. It wasn't until after the animal bucked particularly violently that the woman lost her hold on the reins and fell to the ground, making a surprisingly graceful landing.

The people cheered as the rider stood up and grinned wickedly, curtsying as a joke. She picked up her hat and hit it against her thigh a few times so that the worst of the dust came off. People slapped her on the back as she made her way through the crowd, and JJ looked at her curiously, wanting to know what sort of a woman rode horses as well as what she'd just witnessed.

She was an incredibly beautiful woman, that's what JJ had noticed first. Her long, dark hair was in a braid, accentuating her delicate features and gorgeous, brown eyes that were shining with unadulterated joy. JJ suddenly felt envious of her, thinking that it must be incredible to feel so carefree – a concept the blonde wasn't even sure she'd recognize anymore.

"Emily!" Mr. Jackson called out as the crowd was starting to dissipate, and the woman JJ was so intently studying looked up. Their eyes met for the first time, and for some inexplicable reason, JJ felt her stomach do a nervous back flip. The brunette smiled and made her way over to her boss and their newest guest.

"Emily, I want you to meet Miss Jareau. She just arrived and will be spending the summer with us." Mr. Jackson said and gestured towards JJ. "Miss Jareau, this is Emily, my horse whisperer."

"Hardly, I simply enjoy working with them." Emily chuckled and offered her hand. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Jareau."

JJ took the offered hand, not entirely sure why she felt so uneasy and beside herself in Emily's company.

"Please, call me Jennifer." It was out before she even had time to think about it. No one ever called her Jennifer, mostly because she didn't particularly like the sound of the name.

"Jennifer it is." Emily's smile widened a notch. "Well, I'd better go and take Rollo there back to his stall," she continued and gestured vaguely towards the horse that was still in the corral, scratching the ground. "He has a tendency to sulk if I leave him unattended for too long."

"It was nice to meet you," JJ said, still oddly spellbound by the brunette. She had expected to hear a deep, southern slant in Emily's voice as well, but, instead, the brunette's accent was clearly Eastern, which also set her apart from the rest of the people JJ had met today.

"Likewise. We'll probably be seeing each other quite a lot during these next few months. If there's ever anything you need, don't hesitate to ask." With one final smile and a small nod to her boss, Emily put on her hat again and sauntered to the corral. Mr. Jackson pursed his lips, his black mustache wiggling almost comically. Then he turned back to JJ who suddenly felt like she was under extreme scrutiny.

"I'll take you to your room now, Miss Jareau," Jackson stated in a sharp tone. He began striding along towards the house, and a perplexed JJ practically needed to jog in order to keep up with him as she tried to figure out why her host's mood had suddenly turned from hospitable to downright cold.

***

A thick, wooden door closed with a faint click behind JJ, and she was left standing alone in a cosily decorated room. Her suitcases stood neatly next to the big bed in the middle of the room. Placing her cell phone on the small table near a door that led to the bathroom, she walked to an open window that looked out on the front yard. It was full of activity, with other guests enjoying the not-too-hot afternoon sun and the ranch employees doing their various daily tasks.

In the distance, JJ could see cattle grazing near the river and several figures on horseback keeping an eye on the herd. Further behind them, the low southern peaks of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains reached towards the clear blue sky, and JJ made a mental note to find out if it was possible to travel to the base of the mountains and see the range up close.

With a final sigh of contentment, JJ made her way to the bed and flopped down on its mattress. Lying supine on the soft bedspread, she reached for her cell phone and turned it on. There was one text message she needed to send, after which she'd turn her phone off again to forget she ever had a life back East.

Garcia, you're the best.
This place is incredible.
I'll keep in touch.

She pressed 'send' and smiled. The whole mini-sabbatical thing? It actually might just work.

***

Chapter II

Within a few weeks, JJ had found an easy routine to her days. She liked to get up early when there weren't too many people around yet and, hence, no danger of getting into social situations before the essential first cup of coffee. After eating breakfast in peace, she headed outside for a walk that sometimes lasted for hours. The eight-thousand-acre ranch had so many places to explore and things to see that every day the blonde discovered something new and fascinating within the borders of the estate.

Once again, she walked across the main yard, said her good mornings to a few stable boys she passed, and made her way along the riverbank towards the faraway mountain tops in the horizon. It was so early in the morning that the sun hadn't risen high enough to shine scorchingly as it did during the day, and she could still see the last drops of dew that covered the vegetation.

After half an hour of trekking, JJ arrived at a small and charming boulder formation that forced the river to make a slight curve before finding its proper course again. Wiping sweat off her forehead, the blonde reached for her water bottle at the side of her backpack and took a long swig. The scenery was extraordinarily beautiful, even more so than usual. She hadn't seen this place mentioned anywhere, and it was strange that no one had brought it up with her when she'd asked around for information about the best hiking trails and destinations in the area.

Deep in thought, JJ nearly dropped her bottle when a voice sounded somewhere above her: "Two years I've spent on this ranch, and no one's ever found my secret hiding place before."

With an abrupt move, JJ turned towards the voice and saw Emily sitting leisurely on the crest of the rock. She was leaning back on her elbows, one ankle crossed over another and her dark hair shining in the sun. She was dressed in blue jeans and a flannel shirt with a white t-shirt underneath.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were here," JJ automatically apologized, mortified that she'd obviously walked in on Emily's private moment of relaxation, but that only made the brunette chuckle in an amused manner.

"Don't be silly. Climb up!" Emily gestured invitingly with her hand, and, after a moment of hesitation, JJ placed her foot on a small crevice in the rock and began hoisting herself up. Emily extended her hand for JJ, and the blonde gratefully took it, allowing the other woman to pull her all the way to the top.

"Good morning." Emily's voice was chipper.

"Morning," JJ replied and noticed that the uneasiness was back with full force. There was a moment of silence when both women simply admired the view that appeared even more gorgeous from where JJ was now sitting. "So, do you come here often?" Emily grinned at the blonde's stereotypical question.

"As often as I can. I like to get up early, take care of the morning duties at the stables, and then ride up here and just admire the view for a little while if I have the time." The look on Emily's face was that of pure peacefulness, and JJ felt a pang of jealousy hit her again.

"It's beautiful up here," JJ said quietly, the serenity of the moment slowly seeping into her whole being.

"It sure is," Emily agreed, inhaling a lungful of fresh air. She was silent for a few moments and then glanced at JJ. "So, where are you from?"

"Virginia." Emily's eyebrows climbed high on her forehead at the response. "I know, I know. Quite a change." JJ smiled, shaking her head slightly.

"Sometimes change is good," Emily mused, and the blonde got the impression that she was speaking from personal experience. "Most of our visitors tend to be from the South. I guess the whole Wild West thing is beginning to get a little old for the Northerners."

"I just wanted to get away, to go somewhere completely different from what I'm used to," JJ said, surprising herself for actually saying it out loud. She quickly turned away from the brunette, feeling like, with that single confession, she'd shared far too much already. Anonymity and invisibility was what she'd come to look for in New Mexico, and that was what she was going to do. Emily seemed to sense her discomfort and let it be.

"So, what do you do, Jennifer?" Emily seemed genuinely interested, and maybe it was the exquisite way her named sounded when the brunette said it, but JJ didn't have the heart to tell her that sharing personal information with strangers was something she'd always been against. Especially when one's job was to catch serial killers – it simply came with the territory.

"I work for the government." JJ's reply was vague, and she hoped Emily wouldn't milk her for further details, because she'd have to lie. And, for some reason, she didn't want to lie to Emily.

"Mmmh, important work, I'm sure." Emily said politely and smiled in an encouraging manner.

"I'd like to think so." JJ smiled back, studying the older woman's profile. "How about you? How did you end up here? I mean, your accent kind of gives you away."

"Ah, you noticed, huh?" Emily laughed, shaking her head. "It's just one of those things, I suppose. I got fed up with my life back East and wanted to try something new. Ended up here."

"You just left everything behind?" JJ asked in awe, and for the first time, she saw the aura of happiness around Emily falter momentarily.

"Something like that. Not that there was that much to leave." The brunette stated somewhat sadly, seemingly staring to eternity for a few moments before the earlier mask slipped back on and she was smiling warmly again. "But it was the right thing to do. I haven't regretted my decision once, I love it here."

"This place is amazing," JJ concurred and sighed contently.

"The most beautiful spots are further along the river, and the mountains are absolutely breathtaking." Emily gestured towards the majestic peaks in the distance. "I could take you there sometime if you'd like. You can easily ride there and back when it's still light."

"Oh, I'd love to, but...I can't ride," JJ admitted sheepishly and stared at her hands in embarrassment. She couldn't quite recall the last time she'd felt so inadequate. But, instead of staring at her incredulously, or making some pointless 'too-bad-honey' comment, Emily looked almost excited.

"That's easily fixed. You can take riding lessons at the ranch." Emily's explained enthusiastically. "I'd love to teach you."

"You teach riding?" JJ didn't know why it should make a difference, but it did.

"Yeah, among other things. C'mon, it'll be fun," Emily coaxed, and, irresistibly, JJ found herself becoming more and more excited about the prospect of learning to ride horses – something she'd never even thought of trying.

"I might take a few lessons, see how it feels." The blonde nodded, still slightly embarrassed at the whole ordeal.

"Excellent! I'll sign you up when I get back." Emily's smile was blinding, and JJ couldn't help feeling somewhat exhilarated.

They made polite small talk for a while, before Emily glanced at her wrist-watch and informed the blonde that it was time for her to head back. Oddly disappointed at the prospect of continuing her journey alone, JJ climbed down to the ground and watched as Emily produced her horse from around the other side of the boulder—the shadowy side so that the now nearly scorching sun hand't exhausted the poor animal—and gracefully hoisted herself up into the saddle. Then she turned back to JJ, still sporting that irresistibly contagious smile.

"I was serious about the riding lessons. I'll book you a few sessions, okay?"

"Looking forward to it already," JJ confessed, readjusting her backpack. "I'll explore a little further before heading back." She gestured behind her and saw Emily nod.

"There are some gorgeous rock formations a mile or so ahead, but be careful if you decide to climb any of them, you can easily slip on the uneven surfaces," Emily warned, tightening her hold on the reins in her hands as the horse was clearly eager to start the journey back.

"Thanks, I will." JJ nodded and had already taken a few steps to embark on her hike when Emily's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Jennifer!" The blonde turned back to the woman on horseback. "Thanks for the company." With one final smile, Emily pulled the reins, gave the horse a gentle nudge with the heels of her boots, and rode off. JJ could feel her cheeks redden slightly with pleasure.

***

The sun was high in the sky when JJ finally decided to head back for the ranch. She'd walked much further than she'd planned, but the exotic scenery had simply been too beautiful to resist. Instead of going back on the same trail, she decided to make a loop around the big rock formations which, she remembered, lined one side of the vast riding grounds right next to the stables. Digging out the last bit of a sandwich she'd packed for lunch, JJ walked towards the rocks that glowed with colours of orange and red as the sunlight bathed them in its bright rays.

The distance seemed much shorter than it actually was, but JJ finally reached her goal after half an hour of sweating and an occasional curse word or two. With great relief, she stepped out of the sun and into the wonderfully cool shadow formed by the first of many enormous rocks. Once she reached the other side, she was greeted by a sight of a big herd of cattle that munched whatever nutrition they could get from the dry earth. It was probably Mr. Jackson's cattle, JJ remembered him mentioning the pasture when she'd first arrived.

Carefully stepping over loose rocks and small bushes, JJ made her way slowly, but surely, forwards, every now and then leaning on the hard rock for support. She was about to round yet another rock the size of an SUV when she heard voices coming not far from where she was standing. Her first instinct was to simply keep going, to make her presence known to whoever was on the other side, but a strange feeling in her gut caused her to halt. Swallowing nervously, she put her hand against the rock for support and listened.

There were two male voices, and it soon became clear that it wasn't just a pleasant conversation between friends. There was a certain sharpness to the voices, indicating the exchange was business rather than pleasure.

"You sure about this?" the first voice asked, a tad of nervousness seeping through.

"It's all taken care of," the second one replied, and suddenly JJ recognised Noel Jackson's booming voice.

"It'd better be. We don't need any cock-ups at this point."

"Trust me, they're all on board, so stop worrying!"

"I probably don't need to remind you that this is our biggest undertaking yet, so I can worry all I want." The first voice was irritated now, causing JJ to take a small step backwards.

"Just do your part, Stenton, and be there on time when the bigwigs show up. I'll take care of my half," Jackson said in a way that indicated the conversation had come to an end.

JJ heard shuffling of feet and then the neighing of a horse; the two men were obviously parting ways.

"This is it, Noah. Don't fuck it up," Stenton stated menacingly and then rode off. JJ could hear Jackson mumbling in an annoyed manner before a second set of hoofbeats echoed off the rocks, indicating the departure of the ranch owner.

JJ stood still for a long while, not sure what to make of the bit of conversation she had just overheard. She wasn't sure why, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling of discomfort the odd dialogue had caused. For all she knew, it had simply been a chat about cattle purchases, but, deep down, she knew there was more to it - she'd been around profilers way too long.

"This is so damn typical," JJ murmured to herself as she finally continued her walk. She should've known she couldn't possibly take a vacation without stumbling into something shady. Not that it was any of her business if there was something going on, because she certainly wasn't in New Mexico as an FBI agent. She'd just let it be, let someone else deal with, well, whatever 'it' was.

But, just in case, she'd keep an eye on Noel Jackson from now on.

***

Chapter III

The dining hall was surprisingly crowded when JJ stepped through the door. The hall was the socializing place of the ranch, the place where the meals were served, and every night after dinner, it was turned into a small-scale bar. It was the first time the blonde had bothered to come and see the nightlife side of it herself, not really having been in the mood for it before. But, although she could've done just as well without pointless chitchat with strangers, she figured that becoming a hermit would do her no good.

So, there she was, standing at the door, her eyes scanning the room before her. Most people there she recognized: some were employees and the rest were guests just like she was. Feeling slightly out of place, JJ walked to the bar, exchanging 'hellos' and 'good evenings' with a few people along the way, and hopped up on one of the stools.

"What can I get you, Miss Jareau?" the man behind the bar asked, and JJ instantly recognized him as one of the kitchen workers who'd served her dinner on several occasions.

"Jack and Coke, please." The bartender nodded and soon JJ was sipping the cool liquid from an old-fashioned glass.

"Nice to see you finally found your way here," a smooth voice said from her left, and JJ turned to find a man in a cowboy hat casually leaning against the counter, his back to the bar.

"David, was it?" JJ remembered being introduced to him, but after that she hadn't had any contact with the man.

"David, indeed." He tipped his hat in greeting, clearly pleased that the blonde remembered his name, and studied her intently. His eyes travelled along the side of JJ's face knowingly before dipping lower, much lower, and JJ took another sip from her drink, cheeks burning with annoyance. Finally, David turned fully to her, and she cursed inwardly.

"So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?" he asked, clearly enjoying the blonde's discomfort and trying to use it to his advantage. JJ hated him instantly.

"Just wanted a change of scenery, I suppose," she replied, her voice laden with irritation, which didn't seem to bother David in the least.

"Ah, I thought maybe you were here to find out what real men are made of." He smiled smugly.

"Oh, please, David, don't flatter yourself," a familiar voice said from the other side of him, causing him to quickly push off the counter and turn around.

JJ leaned slightly forward, her eyes landing on Emily who was sitting at the bar and nursing her beer.

"Real funny, Em. You should start touring with that material," David said humourlessly, earning an amused smirk from the brunette.

"Just making an honest observation," Emily's teased lightly before leaning towards him. "And if I didn't just completely misread the situation, I don't think Miss Jareau's interested." JJ could see David's jaw muscles tighten.

"Well, you're the expert. We all know what way you swing, Emily. Don't we?" he retorted with a scoff. Readjusting his hat, he grabbed his beer from the counter and made a hasty exit.

"Bastard," JJ heard Emily whisper under her breath. Then the other woman's demeanour changed and she turned to look at the blonde sitting next to her.

"Thank you so much," JJ said and breathed a sigh a relief. "I'd no idea how to get rid of him, tactfully anyway."

"My pleasure. He can be a real asshole sometimes, you have no idea." Emily rolled her eyes, and JJ stiffled a laugh.

"No love lost between you two then?" JJ asked, still a little puzzled by the malice she'd heard in David's voice.

"You could say that." Emily snorted, drowning the last of her beer and signalling to the bartender for another one. "He tends to think of himself as God's gift to women. And when someone doesn't fall for his cheesy lines and over-the-top innuendoes, he takes it as a personal insult."

"Ah." JJ knew the type all too well. "Talking from personal experience?" Emily's eyebrows rose expressively, making the other woman laugh.

"Yes, sorry to disappoint, but you aren't his only one." Emily shook her head, feigning sadness.

"Well, I have to say, I'm not that surprised he made his move on you," JJ said and then blushed, realizing how it had sounded. Emily stared at her for a few moments, surprised, and the blonde could feel her cheeks burn.

"Thanks," Emily finally said and smiled almost shyly, easing JJ's embarrassment a little.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, both concentrating on the drinks in front of them. For some reason, the brunette fascinated JJ. Whenever Emily was in the vicinity, JJ was completely captivated by her, her mannerisms, the way she spoke, how her eyes sparkled when she smiled. She couldn't quite wrap her head around it, but no one's presence had ever affected JJ quite the same way.

"So, you ready for your first riding lesson tomorrow?" Emily's voice brought the blonde back to reality.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Definitely!" JJ couldn't believe how excited she was about the lessons.

"Great! You'll love it, I'm sure. Just come by the stables at nine and we'll take it from there, okay?"

"Sounds good. Aren't there any other people learning to ride?" JJ asked, not wanting to acknowledge just how much she wanted Emily to say 'no'.

"No, surprisingly many of our guests never even come within a hundred feet of the stables. And those who do usually know how to ride already," Emily explained. "It's a shame, really. The setting for riding is excellent here."

"Oh." JJ nodded and tried to hide the pleasure she felt when she thought about her, apparently private, lesson the following day.

Yes, JJ liked Emily. Tremendously. She felt like the brunette somehow understood her better than most of the people she'd ever met, and knowing that she'd get to spend more time with Emily filled her with nothing but giddiness.

"But don't worry, you'll learn much faster since you'll have me all to yourself." Emily grinned mischievously, and JJ could've sworn the other woman was flirting, but she quickly perished the thought. Feeling her cheeks redden again, JJ gestured to the bartender for another Jack and Coke.

Actually, she thought, better make it a double.

***

JJ knew she was early, but she headed for the stables anyway. The weather was excellent, with no clouds in sight and a faint wind cooling the air. As JJ got closer to the wooden buildings, she spied someone riding in the field, and, instead of going in, she leaned her forearms against the fence, her eyes glued to the figure on horseback. Captivated by the smooth movements she was seeing, JJ chastised herself for not taking up riding sooner.

It took the blonde a few moments to realise that it was Emily she was watching, and she involuntarily leaned closer. The older woman took off the cowboy hat she was again sporting and wiped her forehead on her shirt sleeve, the glittering beads of sweat evidence of her morning riding exercise. Placing her hat back on her head and grabbing the reins tightly, the beautiful golden horse under her was soon galloping fast through the field again, leaving a small dust cloud in its wake.

Emily seemed so happy and content, her hair blowing in the wind, that JJ found herself smiling simply at the sight of it. A cheerful "Woo-hoo!" could be heard as the horse made a sharp turn, flawlessly following Emily's subtle signals to a 'T'. The act of freedom JJ was witnessing brought back the familiar feeling of jealousy; it must've been the greatest feeling in the world to ride through an open field without a worry in the world.

"Jennifer!" Emily finally noticed her standing at the fence, forcing the blonde to push all the depressing thoughts aside. She waved, uncertainly, and a grinning Emily raised her hand in return.

"That looked like fun," JJ commented once Emily was closer, feeling the first butterflies of nervousness flying in the pit of her stomach. Whether it was because of the approaching riding lesson or the woman before her, she wasn't entirely sure.

"Oh, Thorton here is an excellent riding partner." Emily jumped off the saddle and tenderly stroked the gentle-looking horse that was now curiously eyeing JJ. Slowly, the blonde reached out and stroked Thorton's muzzle.

"You ready to take the reins yourself?" Emily asked, grinning, and the younger woman swallowed hard. The brunette reached for the reins again, the movement causing the lapel of her shirt to move sideways, and JJ realized that Emily was wearing an extremely flattering white wife-beater underneath it.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied with a thin voice, sensing that a herd of butterflies had now taken up residence in her stomach.

"Oh, don't be nervous." Emily momentarily put her hand on top of the other woman's, and JJ felt her skin tingle. "Horses are gentle animals, you'll love them."

Yep, but it's not really the horses I'm worried about, a small voice at the back of her head said, but JJ quickly silenced it and followed Emily inside the building.

***

The ground was surprisingly far beneath her when JJ sat in the saddle, gripping the reins as if her life depended on it. Her entire body tensed, and all she could think about was how to prevent herself from falling. The headgear she wore slipped over her eyes, and she raised a trembling hand to straighten it. She was absolutely terrified.

"Relax, Jennifer," Emily's voice finally penetrated the blonde's panicky thoughts, and she looked at the brunette who was standing next to the horse's head, facing her.

"I'm trying," JJ said with a small voice, swallowing as the animal beneath her moved.

"Horses are wise animals. Just like dogs, they can sense people's moods. Tara, here, knows you're nervous, she won't do anything radical," Emily explained, maintaining eye contact with JJ the entire time. Releasing a deep breath, JJ was finally able to relax her muscles a little. "That's better." Emily nodded her approval.

"Okay," Emily continued. "Riding may look physically unchallenging, but, in reality, you need to use pretty much every muscle in your body. Do you have good stomach muscles?"

"Yeah," JJ replied, her voice tilting in a questioning manner.

"Good, because you're going to need them." Emily winked and started slowly leading Tara forwards to begin the lesson.

It didn't take long for JJ to get used to being on horseback, and she actually enjoyed the feeling immensely. Emily taught her how to hold the reins properly and how to keep herself in the saddle, which was what concerned JJ the most. By the end of the lesson, she was already revelling in the experience, rather than fearing it, and to her surprise, she was disappointed when Emily glanced at her watch and congratulated her for surviving the first lesson.

"Same time on Thursday?" JJ asked when they were taking Tara back to the stalls, her voice hopeful. Emily chuckled.

"See? I knew you'd be hooked." The brunette lifted the saddle onto a wooden rack next to various reins and currycombs. "Just come by on Thursday morning, whenever you're ready. I'll be here."

"Great!" JJ realized, for the first time during her vacation, she felt like she was truly enjoying it. She followed Emily out of the stables and watched as the other woman began to sort out a pile of ropes that lay on the ground.

"Thank you so much for this. I can't believe you'd take the time to teach a complete novice," JJ said, suddenly feeling nervous again.

"Are you kidding me? I love teaching, and you're an extremely fast learner, so my job was pretty easy." Emily smiled encouragingly, wrapping a rope around her hand and elbow to wound it into a coil. They looked at each other, smiling.

"I should...," JJ began, gesturing behind her, but, for some reason, was unable to tear herself away from the other woman just yet.

"Yeah...no problem." Emily nodded, but didn't break the eye contact either. She was about to say something else when someone called for JJ, and the blonde was forced to turn around. Her eyes landed on Noah Jackson, and suddenly, she felt highly annoyed.

"I'll see you on Thursday then," JJ said apologetically, though she wasn't entirely sure why she should feel that way.

"Definitely." Emily nodded, and with a final smile, JJ made her way to Jackson who was patiently standing in the middle of the yard.

"How are you today, Miss Jareau?" he asked in his typically pompous way, but JJ was in too good a mood to let it bother her.

"I'm good, thank you." She nodded politely, burying her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Excellent. I take it you're enjoying your stay here? I haven't been able to catch up with you during the past few weeks. I've been rather busy. Lots of work to be done." The self-satisfaction in his voice made JJ want to cringe.

"Oh, I'm very much liking it here. I just had my first riding lesson, actually." She couldn't help the grin that spread on her face.

"Is that so?" Jackson asked, and it didn't go unnoticed by JJ that his eyes flickered to Emily on regular intervals.

"Yes. Emily's a wonderful teacher," she genuinely complimented the other woman.

"Good, good," he said, but JJ could hear the resentment behind his words. "Right, well, I must get going. I'm glad your stay has been successful so far, Miss Jareau. Again, if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask." With that, he brushed past JJ and made his way towards the small warehouses to the right of the stables.

JJ turned to watch him go, but her eyes involuntarily turned back to Emily. The brunette's gaze was nailed to Jackson's retreating back, the look on her face unreadable, but completely void of the previous joy and blithe JJ had witnessed earlier.

Frowning, the blonde turned around, her thoughts again on the bit of conversation she'd heard only some days previously. Maybe there was something to it after all.

***

Chapter IV

The rays of the sun lit up the room when JJ drew back the curtains and peered out of the window. She couldn't believe a month had passed since she'd arrived at the ranch, but a small pocket calendar on her desk informed her that it was already the 30th of June. It had been the right decision to take time off and come here; there was no doubt about it. She'd actually been able to spend her nights sleeping soundly without nightmares or pagers interrupting her. It was something she could easily get used to.

Turning away from the window, JJ plopped down on the bed and grabbed her cell phone that lay on the nightstand next to the newest Kay Scarpetta mystery she'd brought with her from home. She'd made sure the phone was turned off whenever she didn't need it, because the last thing she wanted was her real life back home interrupting the current bliss when she still had a chance to ignore it.

Once the phone was on again, she quickly scrolled down her contacts list and chose the one that said 'Garcia'. Penelope Garcia, the computer guru of the BAU and her best friend, was the only person she'd stayed in contact with during her stay in New Mexico. She wasn't terribly close to her "real" family anyway – the team at the BAU had taken the number one spot in her mind a long time ago. And she knew that Garcia would let the others know that everything was well with her.

The phone rang a few times before it was picked up, and a wide smile spread on JJ's face the moment she heard her friend's voice.

"Well, if it isn't the BAU press liaison extraordinaire," Garcia said in her typically chipper way.

"Morning, Garcia. How's life back East?" The blonde leaned back on the bed, propping herself up with pillows.

"Oh, you know, same old, same old." Clicking of keys could be heard in the background. "The team's in Ohio, a particularly weird case. Jordan said-." Garcia's voice sobered momentarily before the cheerful tone made a comeback: "But you so don't need to hear about that!"

"Yeah, I prefer a serial killer-less vacation, thank you very much." JJ chuckled.

"What's new over there? Still literally trying to stay in the saddle?" Garcia asked innocently, and JJ blushed, although the computer whiz couldn't see her.

"Garcia, that only happened once! Besides, I was dismounting anyway, so, technically, I didn't fall," JJ explained for the millionth time, which only made Garcia giggle even more.

"Still, the visual is priceless, Jay-J."

"Emily said the same thing has happened to her more than once," JJ explained, but it didn't ease the embarrassment she felt in the slightest. Her face flushed as she remembered how the brunette had quickly wrapped her arm around her midsection and helped her back on her feet.

"And how is the wonder woman named Emily?" Garcia asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" JJ wasn't quite able to sound as oblivious as she wanted.

"C'mon, girlfriend. She must be something special, the way you keep talking about her." A silence. "Are you sure it's Emily and not, say, Edward?" the woman on the other end asked knowingly.

"What are you on about, Garcia?" JJ asked incredulously. "Emily, she's...nice. We're good friends." She suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Uh-huh." Garcia's voice was teasing. "Well, it's good that you have a friend there. Quantico and the brilliant presence of yours truly are so far away."

"Yeah, and I'm really enjoying myself. Truly," JJ said truthfully.

"Perfect-O."

JJ shook her head, amused; it was wonderful to hear her friend's voice again.

"You could always come and visit," JJ noted jokingly and heard her friend gasp audibly.

"JJ, me and all that countryside stuff? Match made in hell," Garcia said, making the blonde laugh.

"It was worth a shot." JJ shrugged. "We have a Fourth of July party coming up as well."

"What, you'll sing songs around a campfire and compete as to who can milk a cow the fastest?"

"Very funny," JJ said sarcastically. "No, there's supposed to be a big bonfire and fireworks. Jackson, the owner of this place I told you about at some point, he invited me a few days ago."

"Sounds...exotic."

"And you sound so enthusiastic, Garcia," JJ teased back. Her daily doses of Penelope Garcia were the only thing she truly missed from home.

"I think I'll just keep on enjoying fireworks as my screensaver. You can keep the real things." Garcia sighed. "Unfortunately, kitten, I need to go. Hotch is calling, undoubtedly wanting to feed me more lovely images from the crime scenes."

"Urgh." JJ wrinkled her nose. She definitely didn't miss her job, which still surprised her. She was the epitome of a workaholic after all. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Call me anytime, Jay-J." The line went dead, and JJ sighed contently. Yes, she'd pick bonfires and fireworks over mutilated bodies any day.

***

Clang!

"Score!"

Clang!

"Another one!"

Clang!

"Perfect!"

Clang!

"One more!"

Clang!

"Five out of five in six seconds!"

Colin, another cowboy look-a-like and a ranch employee, turned to his audience and raised his hat, while smiling charmingly. An enthusiastic round of applause sounded, and some people cheered as he slipped his revolver back into its holster, accompanied, of course, by a stereotypical spin. JJ politely clapped along, even if the snobby mannerisms she'd witnessed made her want to throw something at the man. The blonde glanced at the five empty tin cans on the ground, cans that now had a small, round hole in them, thanks to Colin's fairly good aim. Despite her aversion towards the guy, JJ had to admit that his shooting had been impressive.

"Anyone care to challenge me?" Colin looked around him, noting most of the people fervently shaking their heads, not even daring to look at him. "Anyone?" he urged, his eyes finally landing on someone standing somewhere to JJ's left. The resulting smile was smug. "Emily?"

JJ's head whipped around, and she saw Emily, her arms casually crossed, not too far from her. The older woman was eyeing Colin, her eyes narrowing slightly under the rim of her hat. There was a moment of silence when everyone simply looked at Emily, waiting for her response to Colin's challenge.

"You always try to trick me into doing that." Emily's lips quirked into a small smile of amusement.

"Every cowgirl needs to know how to shoot." Colin shrugged, and the brunette canted her head to the side in contemplation. "What? You scared you won't hit any?"

"If you're trying to push my buttons, you're failing miserably." Emily stepped forward and stretched out her hand towards him. "I need to borrow your gun."

"Certainly."

The tin cans were placed back on bases of various heights, and an atmosphere of anticipation filled the area. JJ could feel her heart hammering in her chest as she watched Emily load the old-fashioned revolver and then click the chamber shut. The faint murmuring among the spectators finally faded into complete silence as the brunette raised the gun and took aim. A man with a stopwatch cleared his throat and peered down at the small timer in his hand.

"Ready...set...go!"

It was beautiful. It was flawless. In awe, JJ watched as Emily gracefully cleared one can after another from its perch, until there was only the last one left. The blonde had been practically ready to cheer out loud when she suddenly noticed Emily unnecessarily shifting her aim slightly to the right—a movement so insignificant that the majority of the onlookers probably missed it entirely—and the last shot missed the can by a mere couple of inches. Gaping incredulously, JJ heard the crowd gasp in disappointment and saw Colin's jaw muscles visibly relax.

"Oh, too bad!" Colin jeered, but the blonde hadn't missed his nervous swallow.

"Better luck next time, eh?" Emily stated and handed the gun back to its owner, all the while smiling calmly. She received several 'better luck next time' pats on the back as she made her way through the crowd. Now sufficiently recovered from his near heart attack, Colin proceeded to show other gun tricks to those interested, but JJ didn't stick around. Instead, she hurried after Emily, still feeling strongly about the injustice she'd just witnessed.

"What was that about?" she asked, her brows still in a frown when she reached the other woman.

"What was what about?"

"That last shot! You could've easily hit it!"

"Yeah?" Emily picked at an invisible piece of lint on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Yeah." JJ reached for the brunette's arm, urging her to stop. Their eyes locked. "You missed on purpose."

"I..." Emily struggled for words and finally just shrugged, smiling solemnly. "Yes, I did."

"Why the hell for?"

"Jennifer, look around you. I'm the only woman working at this ranch who isn't a maid," Emily explained. "Can you imagine the hell I'd be put through if I beat them at something so disgustingly manly as shooting? It's quite enough that I can ride better than any of them."

"That's so annoying!" JJ exclaimed angrily, making Emily laugh.

"Believe me, I know." They began walking again, the blonde secretly studying the woman next to her, suddenly feeling elated. They both knew what it felt like to live in a highly male dominated world, and through this new side of Emily, JJ felt like she bonded with the other woman on yet another level.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?" she suddenly asked, remembering Emily's precise and unfaltering aim.

"Ah, I've picked it up along the way." The answer was ambiguous to say the least, but JJ reminded herself that she hadn't been very forthcoming about her own life either.

"Well, you definitely were the better shot back there," the blonde stated proudly. Emily couldn't stop the wide grin that spread on her face as she leaned closer to JJ.

"I totally was, wasn't I?"

***

The cool evening air washed over JJ as she stepped out on the porch. The bar had been rather crowded again, and the blonde had ended up playing darts with some of the other guests while drowning several bottles of beer. Her aim had significantly suffered as the evening had progressed, but she'd still easily beaten her competition. Her smile faltered slightly when she remembered that the last time she'd actually played had been just before the Hankel case – a case that would be forever burned in her memory. Those dogs had caused her nightmares for months, and they still visited her subconsciousness more times than her shrink, or JJ, would like. It had taken the team hours to get her to talk again after Morgan and the cavalry had found her in the barn.

Shaking her head to rid the unpleasant thoughts, JJ refused to go down that road again and, instead, she inhaled the fresh desert air and concentrated on the present. Her mind was still pleasantly buzzing because of the alcohol she'd consumed, and, content simply to enjoy the feel of cool wind on her skin, she leaned against the wall. Her thoughts turned to Emily, which didn't really surprise the blonde that much anymore, and she could feel a tiny sting of disappointment that the brunette hadn't been at the bar earlier.

JJ felt...different when she was with Emily, that much she did know. She didn't feel the need to pretend or impress, nor did she feel in any way threatened by the other woman. Somehow, Emily allowed her to just be herself, which both thrilled and scared her at the same time. Maybe it was the thick cloud of anonymity that still hung around them after all this time—JJ realized that she didn't even know Emily’s last name—but the blonde had never felt as free as she felt with the other woman.

Deep in thought, JJ almost missed the small movement in her peripheral vision. Focusing her eyes to the far end of the yard, she could make out the outline of someone walking slowly across it. Instinctively, JJ pressed her body closer to the wall and into the shadows of the porch, her agent training automatically taking over her movements. The uncertain steps of the figure told the blonde that they probably didn't want to be noticed, which encouraged her to become as invisible as possible.

When the mysterious person was midway through the yard, JJ recognized the unmistakable form of Noel Jackson. A rush of adrenaline coursed through her, and she could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she followed Jackson's every step. She probably should've ignored her instincts—how was any of this her business anyway?—but the Supervisory Special Agent side of her silenced the rational part of her brain, and quietly slipping off the porch, JJ carefully followed the ranch owner.

JJ made sure her boots didn't make a sound when she walked and stayed within a long enough distance from her mark to avoid notice. Part of her recognized how ridiculous all this was, but she still wasn't able to just ignore it. Something was off when it came to Noel Jackson, and JJ couldn't deny the ominous feeling she got everytime she saw him.

After a few minutes of trailing, JJ realized that Jackson was headed for the group of lodge houses at the brink of the river. He disappeared between two of them and, after a brief moment of hesitation, JJ followed suit. She rounded the first corner, but Jackson was nowhere to be seen. A small clicking noise drew JJ's attention to a building a good distance to her left—it looked like a garden shed—and in the faint light of the moon she could distinguish Jackson stepping through the door and glancing suspiciously behind him before silently closing it.

Unsure of what to do, JJ pondered her options when, suddenly, she sensed a presence behind her.

"Hey, what are you doing?" The blonde rapidly turned around and came face to face with a frowning Emily. JJ's mouth opened, but nothing came out. She felt like she had just been caught red-handed, but doing what exactly, she wasn't entirely sure.

"Just looking around," was the first thing that came to mind, and it was so lame that JJ visibly cringed.

"In the middle of the night?" Emily's crooked her eyebrow, and JJ got the unsurprising confirmation that she had failed to convince the brunette.

"I just needed some fresh air, the bar was getting really warm and loud," JJ tried to explain.

"Ah, okay," Emily said in a non-committed way. JJ noticed that she peered at the building behind her, the one Jackson had disappeared into, but the expression on her face remained the same and gave nothing away.

"What are you doing here?" JJ asked, desperate to change the subject and shift the attention away from her and her odd nightly ventures.

"I live here." Emily's voice was amused. She tapped the wooden wall next to her. "My humble home."

"Oh." JJ had known that many of the lodge houses served as accommodation for the employees, but she'd never actually seen them up close.

"You seem a little...flushed," Emily noted, the corner of her mouth twitching, and JJ blinked nervously. "Just how long were you at the bar?"

"I...a while." JJ finally confessed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"I think it's time to get you home," Emily suggested, and the blonde didn't protest when she felt Emily's hand slide up her back, leading her forwards and away from the mysterious garden shed where she'd followed Noel Jackson to. JJ glanced behind her one last time, a faint hint of light in the darkness the only indication that someone was inside.

The walk to the main building was made in silence, but instead of it being uncomfortable and suffocating, the blonde only felt peaceful. Much to JJ's wonder, Emily hadn't withdrawn her hand, she'd only moved it on her shoulder, and the younger woman could feel the warmth of it through her thin blouse.

All the feelings and sensations coursing through her entire being baffled her. Mostly because she'd never felt them before, nor could she even name them all. The only thing she was certain of was that the woman walking confidently next to her was the cause of the state of uncertainty in which she'd lately found herself. Too often, JJ caught herself wondering when she'd see Emily again, or purposefully searching for her with her eyes when she walked past the stables. It was disconcerting, and the blonde was way too scared to contemplate what it all actually meant.

"Let me get the door," Emily said and hurried to open the door to the main building for her charge.

JJ smiled shyly, incredibly flattered by Emily's chivalrous act and stepped inside. She climbed the stairs to the second floor, conscious of the footsteps following her, and fished the key from her pocket.

"Right, this is me." She hoped the nervousness she felt wasn't as evident as she feared.

"Will you be okay?" Emily's voice was genuinely concerned, and JJ's heart skipped a beat.

"I will." She smiled. "Thank you for seeing me home."

"My pleasure," the brunette murmured. She leaned forward, kissing JJ's cheek softly. "Good night, Jennifer."

JJ watched as Emily disappeared down the stairs, her heart hammering in her chest and her face flushed. What the hell just happened? She hated how easily Emily could make her blush. The skin on her cheek tingled where Emily had pressed her lips, and she raised her hand to the spot. A faint trace of Emily's perfume still lingered in the air, and, for some strange reason, JJ was unable to stop the shy grin that spread on her face.

This is so not good, she thought, finally slipping the key into the lock and unlocking the door.

***

>> Part 2 <<

criminal minds - mystery of the missing video tape [picfic] 2/2

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:06:04 GMT

Title: Mystery of the Missing Video Tape (2/2)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 1,519 / 50 images
Rating: R (for bad language)
Summary: A video tape containing scandalous material goes missing, much to Emily & JJ's dismay.

Part I

Chapter VII

Garcia had narrowed down the location of the tape to two possibilities. How exactly she'd managed to do that, no one knew. Again, all that IP address shit.

While they were waiting for the exact addresses, JJ decided to get a cup of coffee – and muse about her current situation.

The blonde wasn't quite sure what she ought to do with Emily. Because while all she wanted was to grab the other woman by the lapels of her deliciously cut, red shirt and ravish her, she couldn't really do that. She couldn't just walk up to Emily and propose a round two in the second floor copy room.

...wait. Why the hell not?

JJ was just about to go find the nearest closet when Morgan walked in.

And so, an unpassable opportunity presented itself.

"Hey, Morgan. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he replied right away, but then quickly looked back at her. "Or, is this a new version of your 'how many press liaisons does is take to change a light bulb?' joke?"

"Ha! No. But damn, that was a funny joke. 'We can liaise in the dark'."

"I really do not have time for this." Morgan rolled his eyes and moved past JJ.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted your opinion on how I should seduce Emily. The whole dinner & a movie before going to my place, or straight to handcuffs and whipped cream?"

Morgan turned around in a speed of light.

"What?"

"Well, you're a man. How would you do it?"

"We are so not having this conversation!"

"I mean, slipping her a note saying I want to shag her senseless, get married in Paris and adopt Chinese babies with her is a tad too forward, don't you think?"

"God, help me," Morgan muttered and stared at JJ like she'd completely lost her mind.

"God? Hmm... No, I don't think God is the right way to go here, really."

Morgan assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that he should just go along with it, because cooperating seemed to be the fastest way to escape the insanity of the female world he found himself trapped in.

"Well...maybe you should just, you know, ahem, talk to her? Tell her how you feel?"

"Oh, I can't possibly do that, now can I? That means there would be no misunderstandings, no false expectations and a peace of mind. Are you sure the whipped cream trick wouldn't work?"

"JJ, talk to her and get all of us out of our misery. And from what I've gathered, Emily's probably whipped her own cream already." He blinked. "I mean...erm, never mind."

"You think so?" JJ grinned. "Oh, I don't know, she's only giving me these lingering looks, like, all the time. And she touches me whenever possible. She buys me stuff. And she has Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' as her personalised ring tone for me. But that's all, really."

"Women." Morgan sighed. "Just tell her. Oh, and JJ?"

"We never had this conversation. Is that clear?"

Chapter IX

JJ was beginning to think that asking Morgan for advice had been a really stupid thing to do.

"Come on, JJ. You can do it. Just tell her. It can't be that bad. Like ripping off a band aid."

"JJ?" Someone said from behind her.

"Jesus Christ!"

"Are you okay? I heard you talking..." Emily looked around the room. "...to yourself?"

"Yes, uh-huh, uh-huh. I was just...you didn't hear what I said by any chance, did you?"

"Something about clipping off a lamb hay, but I don't really know what that means."

"Darn it."

"Actually, JJ. The reason I'm here, there's something I need to say to you."

Oh, God. She's breaking up with me. And we're not even together.

"You know that supply closet encounter that started this whole debacle? Well...I...I sort of... What I'm trying to say is that..."

"It was amazing. Like, really amazing."

Photographic memory = awesome.

"Oh, really?" JJ felt oddly giggly and flipped her hair in a way too girly manner.

"Yes. So, I guess I'd just...like to know if maybe we could do it...again. And again. And..."

Giving Emily a look that was nothing short of sultry, JJ actually thanked the bastard who'd stolen the security tape.

"Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there."

"Really? Fantastic. I'll...call you?"

JJ stepped closer, a conspiratory look on her face.

"You know, my mother always says there's no time like the present."

"Oh, thank God. There's an empty office just around the corner."

But then, Hotch suddenly materialised out of thin air.

"What did I tell you about getting it on while on duty?"

JJ was not amused.

Chapter X

After Hotch had managed to crowbar the two women apart, Emily headed to the car park where Morgan was already waiting for her. They were supposed to go question two people who'd apparently been interested in buying the tape. Meanwhile, JJ headed to another location in Dorchester where, according to Garcia, the seller had been quite often.

Again, no one bothered to ask how she knew all that.

"So you're saying that this is the person who wanted to sell you the tape?" Morgan inquired and presented a very poorly sketched picture of the unsel (Unknown Seller).

"Yep, that's her. Although, her hair's a lot longer, her face more oval and she looks completely different. But other than that..."

"Wait, she? That weasel is a woman?"

"Oh, yeah. She asked for $200, but since the tape was a little amateur-ish and not very hardcore, we were only willing to pay $50."

Morgan tried to stifle a laugh.

"Amateur-ish?"

"Yeah. I mean, for instance the way the brunette stretched her neck like this? Totally a novice move."

"Well, maybe there just wasn't enough room for anything fancier."

"Whatever, lady. Look, we didn't buy the tape, and the woman said she would wait somewhere in Dorchester in case we change our minds."

"Dorchester?"

"Crap."

Chapter IX

After arriving at the intended location, JJ soon realised that she was, in fact, in the right place. After chasing a lithe, masked figure down to the basement, she made a mental note next time to call back-up before running after criminals, guns blazing.

JJ ordered the figure to stop and, to her amazement, it suddenly turned around to face her.

"Take this!" Something hit her to the shoulder, and when she glanced down, there was a trickle of what in the past had been a tomato dripping down her jacket. Disgusting.

"Oh, no you didn't." Annoyed at such a low trick, the FBI agent fired once and the figure dropped to the floor, cursing heavily. "I will never live this down," she muttered, trying to scrub the pulp off her shoulder.

And then, out of the blue, Emily was there – because the cavalry is always supposed to arrive after we need it the most.

"JJ, are you all right?"

"What?" JJ was oddly mesmerised by the taller woman. Having hot, lesbian sex at work tends to have that effect on you.

JJ was pondering whether it'd look overtly gay if she ran her hand up Emily's arm, all the way up to her cheek, when something else occurred to her.

"Where the hell did she get the tomato?"

"Huh?"

"Ah, never mind." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, who is she?"

***

"I cannot get a fucking break with these people."

Epilogue

And so it was that the BAU had solved yet another case. The tape was confiscated and JJ hid it behind her DVD collection at home – because you never know when you might need some inspiration.

No one was more relieved about solving the case than Emily & JJ, and they invited the rest of the team to a nearby night club to celebrate.

On her way to their table with yet another order of beer, Emily glanced lovingly at JJ who was "mingling" on the other side of the bar. And yes, the blonde had already had a few.

Quite a few, actually.

"Emily Prentiss! My girlfriend! I rule!"

Emily sighed happily, unable to tear her eyes away from JJ, while Garcia was too busy ogling at a brand new Hewlett-Packard laptop a random nerd squad was gushing over at a table nearby.

"It's time for me to show them how it's done," Garcia suddenly said and got up. She turned to Emily before joining the group of über nerds.

"And you!"

"Absolutely no sex in public places, is that clear?"

***

Two shadows danced, entwined, on a tile wall at the back of the night club.

"JJ?" Emily's voice was ragged and she was obviously panting.

"Yeah?" JJ sounded equally out of breath.

"Did you know they've installed security cameras in this corridor since our last night out?"

Silence.

"Fuck!"

THE END.

criminal minds - mystery of the missing video tape [picfic] 1/2

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:37:43 GMT

Title: Mystery of the Missing Video Tape (1/2)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 1,862 / 50 images
Rating: R (for bad language)
Summary: A video tape containing scandalous material goes missing, much to Emily & JJ's dismay.
A/N: Okay, let me start by saying that I have absolutely no idea where this came from; I was playing around with screencaps and suddenly a fic was born. This definitely shouldn't be taken too seriously, and I promise to reduce my caffeine intake in the future.

Prologue

Meet Emily Prentiss. She's a highly trained FBI agent who could easily kill you with only tweezers as a weapon. She's also gayer than Ellen DeGeneres on speed, and my God, is that a low cleavage for a federal agent or what?

This is Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau. You shouldn't let her innocent looks fool you, because that gun attached to her hip? Most definitely loaded. That restraining order shall never be broken again, I'm just saying.

So, here's the deal, my precious readers: Emily is completely in love with JJ. JJ is head over heels in love with Emily. But ~~because we need a cheesy, completely over-the-top plot for this story~~, they naturally haven't told each other about their feelings. That would just be too easy.

To make matters a tad more interesting, our protagonists did share a moment (okay, fine. They went at it like rabbits) a while back in one of Quantico's surprisingly spacious supply closets after having one too many in Hotch's "Proud to be Single Again" party.

The one thing they didn't take into account at the time, however, is that every single square feet in the building is monitored by security cameras.

That's right, Emily & JJ's little encounter was captured on tape, and that tape is just about to go missing. Poof! Gone.

Still with me? Well, let's recap:

Emily Prentiss = gay, cleavage and all.
Restraining order = totally uncalled for.
Emily & JJ = just do it already, but nowhere in Quantico, please.
Missing security tape = Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem!

Chapter I

It was like any other morning briefing at the BAU. Agents were milling about, Gideon looked like he'd just eaten a particularly sour lemon, and Hotch made a mark in his notebook that it was the 256th day since he'd last smiled.

Everything was good and cosy until JJ strode into the briefing room, looking downright frantic.

"We have a huge problem. A security breach. A video tape has gone missing, and we need to find it fast."

"A tape?" Morgan said incredulously. "We are the BA of the frigging U. How's that our case?"

Reid was thinking the same, but Morgan was always more eloquent with words, so he thought frowning for emphasis was good enough.

JJ was prepared to defend her decision.

"It's not just any tape," she began, glancing purposefully at Emily. "It's a security tape. From a certain supply closet on the third floor."

Dressed in an odd, flowery patterned shirt, Emily was confused. JJ was obviously trying to tell her something, the way her eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but...

...and then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Oh, shit."

"We need to get it back as soon as possible. I, personally, won't sleep until that tape is back in Quantico," JJ said vehemently and looked sharply at Morgan. "And not a word about that ostrich thing last year and me falling asleep on the backseat of Reid's car. That was totally different."

Morgan blinked, but remained silent. He knew better than to tease JJ when the blonde was this agitated. Reid was busy scribbling down a note for himself: remember to ask JJ for the $90 she owes me for the clean-up of the car. Plus $10 for getting rid of the itchy ostrich feathers in my coat. Oh, and buy milk.

"That tape must've contained top secret FBI material. Therefore, we need to move fast on this people," Hotch said. "The future of the world might depend on us."

Emily wanted to weep.

Somebody shoot me. Please?

Chapter II

While the team was waiting for Garcia to do her magic and find out where the team should be headed on their somewhat wild goose chase, Emily decided she needed a cup of coffee in order to ease her nerves.

Morgan was just pouring milk into his cup when Emily approached the coffee pot.

"Hey, what's up with JJ?" he inquired. "She was acting all weird in the briefing."

"What? Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing. She was probably just tried. Yes, that must be it. Why are you asking me? Why would I know anything? I don't know anything."

The silence was deafening before Morgan suddenly spoke: "Okay, cool!"

He started making his way back to the bullpen, and Emily felt horrible for lying to one of her best friends.

She knew she had to come clean at some point, otherwise she'd explode.

"It's me and JJ doing the horizontal tango on that tape!" she blurted. "Well, actually it was more vertical, but..."

"..."

Chapter III

It wasn't long after she told Morgan about the contents of the tape that Emily got paged to Hotch's office.

No matter what way she looked at it, it wasn't going to be good. But, unwilling to show her hand just yet, she got in and waited for Hotch to talk.

He went straight to the point.

"It has come to my attention that the tape we're after is, in fact, a tape of you and JJ in the supply closet during my 'Proud to be Single Again' party." Emily cursed under her breath. "As the team leader, me not knowing such a hot, erm, essential detail is absolutely unacceptable."

"Goddammit! It was Morgan who ratted us out, wasn't it?" Emily shot an angry glare towards the bullpen.

"Oh, au contraire. It was simple profiling from my part." Hotch seemed to be rather pleased with himself. "It was easy: after the briefing this morning JJ tapped her index finger against the table three times and, later on, she got Reese's Pieces from the canteen. You changed into a grey pullover right away and ate a green apple."

"Dammit," Emily chastised herself. "I knew that apple was a mistake!"

"So, I think it goes without saying that from now on, supply closets are out of the question." Hotch's tone was firm. "And no flaunting of your sexual adventures while some of us aren't getting any."

You bitch.

Chapter IV

Meanwhile, on the other side of the BAU wing, Garcia and JJ were busy trying to locate the effing video tape of doom.

"JJ, I still can't believe you actually did it. In the supply closet. With Emily." Garcia's attention strayed momentarily from the computer screen. "In a supply closet."

"Well, it just kind of happened. Between the fifth glass of Gideon's special punch and Hotch singing 'I Will Survive' with Agent Anderson."

"Besides, when a gorgeous woman wants to check out my merchandise, who am I to decline?"

What JJ didn't say, was that it had actually been her idea in the first place, and that Reid's monologue about subatomic particles had given her a wonderful excuse to drag Emily away from the lamest party in the history of the universe to a sizzling hot party of their own.

Suddenly Garcia gasped.

"Oh, my. I think I found our missing tape. Sort of."

JJ hurried over and looked at the screen.

"Oh, fuck."

Their scandalous sex tape, being sold on eBay. Universe sure had a twisted sense of humour.

"'FBI Hoompa-Loompa'? 'The truth behind the badge'? Seriously? And they have screencaps up as well?" JJ was irate to say the least.

Until she looked a little closer.

"Damn. That's pretty hot."

And just for a millisecond, JJ entertained the idea of creating her very own eBay account.

Chapter V

The seller of the tape was supposed to reside somewhere in Boston, according to Garcia. They all took her word for it, because who the hell had any idea of all that IP address mumbo-jumbo anyway?

The team hopped on their private jet and set course towards Bean Town.

Garcia had graciously provided them with printed screen shots of the video—Emily had nearly spontaneously combusted when she found out—which currently lay on the table, and the brunette simply couldn't look anywhere else.

At least she now knew that the countless hours at the gym hadn't been for nothing.

Fortunately their faces weren't visible in the video, but then, pretty much nothing else was left to the imagination.

"Damn. You really can see everything." Morgan studied the pictures a little too eagerly for Emily's liking.

She shot an icy glare at him, playing it cool for the rest of the team. After all, Emily was a hardcore FBI agent and used to being level-headed in stressful situations.

JJ? Not so much.

"What? No, you can't, because it's obviously not me and Emily!" She chuckled nervously. "That's simply ludicrous, I don't know why I even thought of it myself just now, because thatssonotusnoway!"

Emily could practically hear the crickets chirp, and she fought the urge to introduce her forehead to the desk in front of her. Morgan pretended to be so immersed in the photographs that he hadn't just heard a word out of the media liaison's mouth.

If, until then, someone had had any doubts of the two figures captured on tape being the two female BAU members, after JJ's little faux pas those doubts quickly evaporated like a fart would evaporate into the Sahara.

"..."

Dammit!

While no one dared to say a word, everyone desperately trying to convince everyone else that the image of Emily & JJ on top of a photocopier wasn't just playing on loop in their heads, Emily angsted about her unrequited love for JJ. It seemed that all she'd got out of their impromptu extravaganza was a new way of looking at supply closets.

If only her life would stop resembling a damn Linkin Park song.

Chapter VI

When the team arrived at the local FBI field office in Boston, Garcia informed them that a teaser trailer for 'FBI Hoompa-Loompa' had hit YouTube. Big time.

"Oh, wow. It's the 2nd most watched video of the day," Emily noted, while Hotch rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Everyone pretended not to notice.

"What's number one?" Reid asked and leaned closer, but for entirely different reasons than Hotch.

"'Shake it with Barbara Walters'."

"Oh."

Gingerly, JJ clicked the link, prepared to be utterly humiliated for the third time that day. The video started playing, complemented by very lovely sound effects.

Oh, I love my job.

Where the HELL has JJ learned to do THAT?! And more importantly, where can I?!

WOW.

The two women were nervously smiling at each other when Hotch suddenly seemed to break out of some sort of a haze and stood up rapidly.

"This is absolutely no laughing matter." His voice was oddly high-pitched. Emily & JJ at least had the grace to look sheepish.

"I...I need to take care of something," Hotch continued and etched closer and closer to the door. "Let's meet back here in ten. No! Let's make that fifteen." With that he was out of the room.

Emily blinked. No, she didn't want to give it any more thought that she absolutely had to.

***

Part II

fic: criminal minds - between the lines [emily/jj] 4/4

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:23:31 GMT

Title: Between The Lines (4/4)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 5,707
Rating: R
Summary: While solving a case, Emily & JJ are forced to take a closer look at their relationship.

Part I || Part II || Part III

PART IV

9.

Emily accompanied JJ all the way down to the lobby where the others were fidgeting. She never, not once, let go of her when they were bombarded with worried questions, the protective side that JJ seemed to be able to conjure up in Emily so easily rising to its full height again. And when the other woman vehemently refused that they call an ambulance, Emily just as fervently told her to simply go with it.

The paramedics arrived in record time, and when they sat the reluctant media liaison on a wooden bench and started probing her shoulder, Emily moved aside, assured that JJ was being taken care of. With a hasty comment to Morgan that she would meet them at the cars, the brunette made her way across the lobby and around a corner, away from prying eyes. With trembling fingers, she turned the knob of a restroom door and stepped into a brightly-lit room.

After making sure she was alone, Emily leaned against the door, suddenly feeling weak and completely drained. The last half-hour was a haze, her brain desperately trying to process everything without having much success. The image of JJ going over the edge flashed in her mind, and she clenched her fists, nails digging painfully into her palms.

Emily could still see the truly horrified expression on JJ's face when she'd looked up at her, and the way JJ had been pleading for her to help ricocheted in her head. The realization that she'd been so close to losing JJ, that things could've turned out in a whole different manner, caused her legs to give out from under her. She slid down the door and sat on the disgustingly dirty floor, tears streaming down her face.

She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and there was no way she could stop the sobs that wrecked her body. She remembered their earlier conversation, the way JJ had basically pulled the rug from under her, and the memory of it made her feel so insignificant and worthless that although she knew, deep down, the blonde hadn't really meant it, she'd never felt so lost and hurt in her entire life.

Somehow JJ's words—albeit said in a heat of the moment—had done more damage than anything anyone had ever said to her. And she was used to being the target of under-the-belt insults; she was the daughter of Ambassador Prentiss after all. She'd heard so many accusations and expressions of disappointment in her life that she'd thought she was beginning to become immune to them. But JJ's words had been like a knife to her back, they had ripped her heart right out of her chest.

And then, having the blonde in her arms on the roof and seeing her look at her with utter trust and wonder, Emily had been ready to forgive her anything. She was confused and alone, and she had no idea of what to do. Because while she knew that JJ was probably just as mortified about their little quarrel as she was, the past three days had finally made Emily realize that compartmentalizing was complete and utter bull when it came to JJ. The blonde simply didn't fir into a neat and tiny compartment. It was obvious to Emily that she was only torturing herself by coming to work everyday, which truly wasn't what she'd had in mind when joining the team.

Staring at the wall on the opposite side of the restroom, Emily couldn't believe she was actually contemplating on giving up her job, a job that she'd aimed at ever since joining the FBI. But it was now crystal clear to her that working alongside JJ, pretending as if nothing had ever happened between them, would be impossible. And, really, that only left one option: one of them had to leave. It'd be the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she'd do it, if not for herself, for JJ.

Standing up from the floor with shaky legs, she walked to the sink and looked at herself in the large mirror. She saw a woman who looked, well, like crap, but under all the exhaustion and misery, there was a woman who finally knew what she had to do.

As she was splashing cold water on her face, Emily mused that while she'd take the friendship with JJ back in a heartbeat, leaving the BAU really was the best option. At least she'd had one night with the woman who she, when she felt exceptionally corny and sappy, considered to be her soul mate. At least, she had the memories—which would drive her crazy, without a doubt—and the knowledge that, for one night, she'd felt...whole.

Straightening up, she dried her face and took one, final look at herself. Fairly satisfied with her somewhat disheveled appearance, she took a deep breath and prepared to face the world again. She really had no idea how she'd explain her resignation to the team, because no matter how she looked at it, it was like disowning her own family.

Discarding the thoughts of leaving for now, she figured it'd be best not to think of the whole fiasco before their current case was completely wrapped up and before she'd had some time to consider her options; the old idea of taking the Foreign Service exam—like her mother had urged her to do all those years ago—and ending up in a state department didn't inspire her at all. With a final sigh, she turned the door knob. Her face giving nothing away, she left the restroom and strode out of the building to where the others were waiting.

Emily refused to go to the interrogation room when Phil Flanders was being questioned because she wasn't entirely certain she wouldn't beat his face in. So instead of observing the interrogation, she was doing paperwork which she would be required to complete in a week's time anyway. She was scribbling down her second report, bored out of her mind, when Morgan and Reid came into the room and started piling up the files and papers.

"That was fast. Did he confess?" Emily looked up from her writing.

"In lightning speed. Couldn't wait to share his heroic deeds with us," Morgan scrunched his nose in disgust and fetched a cardboard box for the stack of files on the table. "Turned out his-,"

"Let me guess, wife?" Emily interrupted and began organizing her papers in a neat pile as well.

"Mother."

"Oh."

"She hanged herself in her bedroom a couple of months ago. The suicide note Flanders used was an edited version of the one his mother left behind." Reid filled in for Morgan, efficiently stripping the evidence board of photographs. "And the victims' cell phones were found at his house. He took them so no one would find out about the calls to the help line. All of the victims used the line as a kind of a therapy method, apparently."

As hard as she tried, Emily simply couldn't feel remorse for the man. Shaking her head, she filled a box with various folders and then placed it next to the other ones by the door.

They were just finishing up when Rossi and Hotch showed up with Sheriff Gordon, and Emily automatically glanced behind them, in search of their blonde media liaison. But JJ wasn't with them.

"I can't tell you how glad I am to see the back of you." Gordon chuckled. "Again, no offense."

"We're more than happy to go." There was small smile playing on Hotch's lips when he shook hands with the sheriff. Gordon took Rossi's hand as well and nodded politely to the rest of them, before retreating back to the squad room.

"The jet's waiting for us and ready to take off as soon as we get there, so let's go check ourselves out of the hotel," Hotch said and grabbed one of the boxes from the floor.

"Um, where's JJ?" Emily asked, trying to sound nonchalant, as she hurried after their boss, a brown box tucked under her own arm as well.

"I sent her ahead to the airport. After all that's happened, she looked like she could use some sleep."

"Oh, right." Knowing that any further questions would arouse suspicion, the brunette had to settle for the ambiguous reply Hotch had given her. Even with everything that had taken place, she couldn't stop caring; worry unavoidably set up camp inside of her, various unnerving scenarios running through her mind, and Emily found herself clutching the box a little harder than necessary.

It took them awhile to get to the hotel and then to the airport, and when the SUVs finally came to a halt in front of the terminal, Emily wanted nothing more than to slump down in her seat on the plane and stay in it till the end of time.

The brunette spotted JJ the moment she stepped onboard, her eyes immediately landing on the figure laying supine on the double seat at the back of the plane. She knew it was completely insane and extremely foolish, but she couldn't help it; she found herself almost dawdling around the seat on the opposite side of the aisle, irresistibly drawn to the younger woman in spite of everything.

Emily refused to wake her up and very gently fastened JJ's seatbelt to ensure that the blonde didn't roll off the seat when the plane took off. JJ only stirred momentarily, her utter exhaustion and the power of painkillers finally winning out. At the back of the plane, away from the others' curious gazes, Emily secretly allowed herself to watch JJ sleep. It did occur to her that someone might consider it a tad creepy, but trying to keep her eyes off JJ right then was like trying to move a mountain with one's bare hands.

Leaning back in her seat, Emily marveled at how incredibly beautiful JJ was when she slept. Although she'd seen JJ asleep on the plane several times before, she'd never really given herself the permission to observe before. The blonde was always beautiful, but the façade they all wore to work always slipped away when she slept, and it revealed a glimpse of the real JJ, the innocent and genuine version of her. The brunette had only seen JJ remove the mask completely once before in her company, letting Emily witness the vulnerable side of her. When she'd made love to her and gazed into her eyes, Emily had seen the real woman behind the pompous title and the gun and the intimidating authority. Just for a moment, they hadn't been strong and powerful FBI agents in one of the most respected and highly esteemed units of the Bureau; they'd been just Emily and Jennifer, two people who'd finally found each other, two people in the exact same moment, the rest of the world only a vague blur around them, because right then, nothing else existed but the other.

Feeling a sudden lump in her throat, Emily turned her back to the sleeping woman and stared out of the window into the darkness.

10.

2 weeks ASE (After Sex with Emily)

JJ could've told the exact amount of time since that faithful night in minutes—21,600—if need be. It was all she could think of; the other woman filled her every waking thought and usually a fairly big part of her nightly dreams as well. She was reminded of Emily no matter what she was doing; something would always cause her to remember and bring her back to the brunette. But, sitting in her office at the BAU, she could at least pretend to be doing something else other than dreaming of how soft Emily's skin felt when she'd run her hand down her side or how the other woman's lips had so easily found that special spot near her collarbone, making her shiver like a leaf.

It wasn't like JJ didn't know what she wanted to do, what she probably should do. But the memory of hurting Emily to the bone kept tormenting her relentlessly, and judging by the pain she felt herself, she wouldn't be terribly surprised if the other woman refused to ever forgive her. And then there was the little voice in her head, nagging that she was basing all her assumptions on the way the brunette had looked at her. Not what she'd said, not what she'd shown her, but how she'd frigging looked at her, which sounded absolutely ridiculous even to her own ears.

But that was exactly it. The look. She had analyzed and scrutinized every encounter she could recall, and the results were always the same. The way Emily had looked at her so many times during the past year; the way Emily had looked at her on the rooftop in Chicago; the way Emily had looked at her during their night together. That night hadn't been just sex, it hadn't been just a random encounter between two people who simply wanted to find some release and happened to be in a right place at a right time. JJ knew—she could remember it vividly—she'd never felt so deeply adored and cherished by anyone than the way she'd felt that night with Emily.

She'd never felt more loved.

Loved.

Freaked out by her own assessment, JJ straightened up in her chair in bewilderment and looked down at the paper before her. There was a black, messy ink stain on the page where the tip of her pen had remained for the past fifteen minutes without moving an inch. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she crumpled up the entire paper and threw it across the room towards a trash can. It missed its mark, but JJ didn't notice because it was then that she realized Garcia was standing in her doorway.

"Jesus, Garcia!" She slumped back in her seat. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," the computer analyst answered cryptically and stepped fully into the room.

"What are you doing here anyway? It's Saturday." JJ frowned and glanced at her wrist-watch. It was almost five-thirty.

"I could ask you the same thing, Girlfriend." Garcia's eyes were reproachful. "Besides, I have a very, very hot date this evening. I just came in to pick up my darling laptop."

JJ finally noticed that the other woman was indeed dressed up a little less bizarrely than usual.

"Anyone I know?"

"Maybe." Garcia studied her, her eyes narrowing slightly. "But don't think you'll distract me that easily. You're dealing with a goddess of supreme knowledge, after all."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." JJ aimed for cool and collected but ended up somewhere between painfully obvious and as plain as day.

"Right." Garcia nodded sarcastically. "Oh, is Em still here?"

"No, she hasn't been in a..." JJ looked up into amused eyes and knew that she'd just been played. "Nice." She crossed her arms, brooding.

"Did you honestly think I don't know? What blasphemy, I knew before you knew!" Garcia chuckled, and JJ buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.

For a while JJ didn't say anything, the direction of the conversation had caught her slightly off guard. Then she lowered her hands and looked at her best friend in despair.

"I don't know what to do," she said quietly, picking at invisible lint on her pants.

"The heart knows best." Garcia smiled radiantly, and JJ rolled her eyes.

"Even if that wasn't so corny, it still wouldn't be that simple." She shook her head, feeling so unbelievably relieved for finally being able to talk with someone about the whole situation. "I mean, I don't even know if she..."

"Maybe you should just get her drunk and see if she comes on to you." The computer whiz stated matter-of-factly, but JJ didn't laugh. Instead, she could feel her cheeks burning. Actively avoiding the other woman's eyes, she swallowed self-consciously and wondered why no one ever came to bother her when she was in real need of a distraction.

"Well, someone's really been holding out on me!" Garcia stifled a laugh, which earned an angry glare from the blonde. She raised her hand in a surrendering manner. "I'm sorry, doña Juana. Being dead serious now."

"Oh God. This is a nightmare." JJ groaned and massaged her temples in a vain attempt to ease the faint pounding in her head.

"Why don't you tell the celestial being of Quantico everything, so she would have yet another good reason to tell you to drag your butt over to Washington D.C. ASAP?" Garcia plopped down in one of the chairs in front of the blonde's desk and waited.

"I thought you had a date." JJ blinked, trying not to show how desperate she was to share it all with someone.

"A woman should always be fashionably late."

JJ smiled, incredibly thankful for having such a great friend, and began tentatively relaying information. After several "You go girls" and just as many "oh my gods," she finished the story and eyed the other woman uncertainly.

"I really didn't think you had it in you, Jay-J." Garcia was smiling widely, making JJ blush furiously.

"Garcia."

"Right, right. You want my honest opinion?" The blonde nodded. "Sweetie, you're an idiot."

"What?" JJ blinked, not sure she'd heard correctly. Garcia tilted her head to the side and gave the media liaison her best 'are-you-serious' look. She sighed and gave up. "I'm an idiot."

"Uh-huh."

"Christ, I was so horrible to her." JJ wanted to smack herself.

"You know, in the movies, this is the moment when you're supposed to go and confess your undying love for the insanely good-looking co-star and sweep them off her feet." The computer tech looked wistfully into space. "Oh, what I'd give to find Denzel Washington standing under my window."

JJ laughed, feeling surprisingly light-hearted, and pushed herself up from her chair in a sudden burst of energy. Collecting her purse from the floor, she rounded the table and hugged the other woman tightly.

"You're totally insane, but I love you for it." Pulling back, she smiled one last time at Garcia and then practically ran all the way out of the building.

By the time JJ pulled her car to the side of the street in front of Emily's apartment building, the self-confidence and courage her little chat with Garcia had built up in her had more or less evaporated into thin air. Her fingers squeezed the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, and she peered up to the window she knew to be Emily's.

Now that she was actually there, she had no idea what to do or how to proceed. Rather than feeling hopeful and excited, she felt idiotic and ridiculous. Maybe Emily didn't even want to see her. And maybe she'd completely misread the signs, and it was all just a big misunderstanding, which would inevitably lead to her looking like a fool.

"Goddammit," she muttered and withdrew her hand from the door handle for the tenth time in as many minutes.

Leaning forward again, she observed the double window of Emily's apartment through the windshield. The light was on, so she was home, but who knew if she was alone or not. JJ shuddered at the thought of carelessly interrupting the other woman's evening, only to find out that she was about to do the horizontal tango, or God knows what, with someone else.

She didn't know exactly how long she sat there, but some random top-whatever countdown show on the radio had gone from number twenty to number five during that time. And just when she'd about had enough, had decided to go for it, and had pushed her insecurities aside, there was a sharp knock on the driver's side window.

Startled by the sudden interruption, she peered out and saw a police officer casually leaning his arm against the top of her car and gesturing with his hand for her to open the window. Dutifully, JJ lowered the window halfway down and looked expectantly at the man.

"Ma'am, I need you to step out of the vehicle, please," the officer said patiently.

"Excuse me? Why?" JJ's voice was incredulous.

"Just step out of the car, please."

JJ did as she was told and warily wondered what in the hell Officer Malone—there was a name tag on his shirt—wanted.

"Could you state your business here, Ma'am?" The officer looked her up and down.

"I'm here to see a friend."

"Where is this friend, then?"

"What's this about?" She was starting to lose her patience.

"We got a complaint of suspicious loitering, Ma'am."

"Loitering?"

"Yes. So could you state your real business here, please?" Officer Malone put his hands on his hips, but the power game was wasted on JJ.

"Look, I'm an FBI agent. Here's my-." She reached for her badge which was in her jacket's breast pocket.

"Freeze! Hands where I can see them!" Malone pulled his gun, causing JJ to, indeed, freeze.

"My badge is in my pocket," she tried to explain, but he didn't want to hear it.

"You'd be surprised how many times I've heard that one before." He didn't lower his gun an inch.

All the commotion on the street had attracted attention, and there were now people curiously looking at the scene through their windows; one of them probably was the imbecile who had called the cops on her. Some passers-by had stopped on the sidewalk around them, murmuring, and all eyes were on JJ and Officer Malone.

Just when JJ thought her life couldn't get any worse.

"I swear I'm an FBI agent. If I could just show you-."

"Against the car, Ma'am."

"What? Do I look like a criminal to you?" Her voice rose dangerously, but she didn't care.

"Ma'am-."

"Excuse me, Officer." There was a familiar voice behind her, and JJ turned, relieved, to find Emily standing on the sidewalk. "She's with me." The brunette flashed her badge, and there was a collective gasp and increased murmuring around them. It was a damn Kodak moment.

JJ turned back to Officer Malone, clenching her teeth. He had visibly paled and looked downright apologetic, which JJ noted with satisfaction. She straightened her jacket, and, with one last glare at him, walked to Emily. Mouthing a silent 'thank you' to her savior, JJ followed Emily up the stone steps and into the building.

"Come on, nothing to see here! Off you go!" The blonde could hear Malone's voice behind her, but she didn't give him the satisfaction of looking back.

"God, can you believe the nerve of that man?" JJ stomped into Emily's living room after the brunette had unlocked the door and let her in. When there was no reply, she turned around and found Emily standing apprehensively next to the bar which separated the kitchen from the living room.

"What are you doing here, JJ?" Okay, she totally deserved that.

"I..." She took a few steps forward, her eyes accidentally sweeping over the small table next to the couch. She'd already moved forward when what she saw registered in her brain, and her head whipped around in shock. She stared at the white sheet of paper on the table.

"What's this?" she asked incredulously and picked it up.

Emily didn't respond, her demeanor didn't actually change at all. The brunette looked at the paper in JJ's hand and then at JJ, her face—the blonde noted—scarily expressionless. Finally, she smiled a humorless smile and sighed, her shoulders rising and falling in a defeated shrug.

"You're resigning?" JJ whispered disbelievingly, her hands trembling against her will. "You're resigning? What, the last time wasn't fun enough?"

Still nothing.

"You can't resign, you belong to the BAU!" Suddenly, her heart was beating so fast that JJ thought it'd jump right out of her chest.

"Yeah, well. Things change," Emily said flatly, hands in her back pockets.

"You can't resign!" JJ's voice rose, and had she not been so preoccupied by the ominous message on the paper, she most certainly would've scolded herself for sounding so blatantly hysterical.

"I've made up my mind." Emily sounded tired. She walked to the blonde, took the resignation letter from her hand, folded it, and tucked it in her back pocket.

After a non-committed smile, Emily moved to the window with the impressive view of the Capitol, but it was obvious that she didn't really see the beauty before her as she gazed outside. Her shoulders were unnaturally straight, and her entire body oozed tension.

"Why do you..." JJ didn't know what to say, she was too upset to think. "Why...do you...is it...is it because of us?"

"Why are you here, Jennifer?" Emily suddenly turned around, her words sharp and hollow. The use of her real name made them sting just that much more.

They stood there, in the middle of Emily's living room, looking at each other, and something in that very point in time made JJ realize that it was the moment she'd perhaps been waiting for her entire life. It was the moment when she could either get burned or get it all, and it all depended on her and her alone.

She watched Emily stand tall before her, and all she could do was wonder what she'd done to deserve such an incredible human being in her life. Everything was simple and right when they were together. Emily always knew how to cheer her up, and she would stand beside her no matter what. When she felt like she couldn't go on, Emily would smile or touch her hand as a gesture of caring, and it'd all be better again. They were the two sides of a whole, and she could live without Emily only as long as she could live without breathing.

"I'm so sorry," JJ finally whispered hoarsely, desperate to make the other woman understand.

Emily didn't move; she simply looked at her. JJ struggled for words, trying to find the right ones to say just how sorry she was and how much she needed her. But the longer she looked at the brunette, the more it dawned on her that words would never be enough to express how much the other woman meant to her. There were no fancy turns of phrase to show Emily how completely and utterly in love she was with her. Encouraged by the depth of her feelings, JJ walked hesitantly to stand in front of the other woman. Carefully, she raised her hands to cup Emily's face, and when the brunette didn't pull back, JJ leaned in and kissed her. Softly.

It was just as wonderful as she'd remembered. Emily's lips were soft and perfect, and JJ didn't know how she could ever live without the feeling of wholeness that overtook her. Unhurriedly, she pulled back and watched as Emily's eyes slowly slid open, the look in them undecipherable. She studied JJ, her eyes searching for something, and the blonde earnestly held her gaze.

It was strange. In her life, JJ had fought some of the worst serial killers in the country; she'd stood in front of an enraged crowd of journalists, who wanted nothing more than to tear her apart; she'd dangled hundreds of feet above ground, about to fall to a certain death. And still, she'd never felt more terrified than right then under Emily's unfaltering gaze. Because Emily could see right through her, see exactly who she was, inside and out. And the fear of her not liking what she saw was truly the scariest feeling of all.

Then JJ spotted it; saw the eyes before her fill with tenderness and the small smile tugging at the corner of Emily's mouth. Her own heart skipped a beat when she was gently pulled forward and enveloped into a warm embrace. Her arms circling the brunette's waist, JJ inhaled deeply and enjoyed the sweet and unique fragrance that she realized she'd missed terribly. She could feel Emily's breath softly tickle her ear, which released a herd of butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

"Have you been drinking?" Emily suddenly asked quietly, momentarily disorienting the blonde with the odd non sequitur.

"No," she replied breathlessly, holding on to the other woman just a little tighter.

"Good," Emily stated simply, only half-joking, and then leaned back slightly so that she could bring their lips together.

JJ couldn't believe that she'd actually considered letting Emily go without a fight. As she felt the kiss deepen and their bodies molding together perfectly, she mused that she never again wanted to know what it felt like not having Emily with her. And to ensure just that, she needed to apologize, to swear she'd never be so reckless and do anything so stupid ever again.

It took all her willpower to do so, but JJ slowed down and reluctantly broke the kiss, her hands still firmly against the small of Emily's back. She looked deep into the brown eyes, the feel of the other woman's soft breath on her swollen lips sending jolts of electricity through her body, jolts that ended somewhere much further south.

"I really am so sorry, Emily. I'm such an idiot," she whispered, closing her eyes in exasperation.

"Yeah, you are," Emily said, and the blonde turned her head in shame. Fingers under JJ's chin, Emily gently urged the other woman to look at her.

When JJ slowly turned back to the brunette again, she was greeted with a look so full of devotion and trust that she thought her heart would burst. There was a small, happy smile playing on Emily's lips.

"But you're my idiot," she murmured before claiming JJ's lips once more.

Things didn't sound nearly as corny when Emily said them.

EPILOGUE

6 months ASEFT (After Sex with Emily for the First Time)

Combing her hand tiredly through her long, blonde hair, JJ strolled into the kitchen and turned the kettle on. She'd always liked to drink tea in the morning, ever since she was a child. Her mother had brewed tea in her antique silver tea pot every morning, and although it was over a decade ago that she'd actually lived at home, she simply couldn't break the habit. And besides, she'd get her caffeine fix later, since she usually drank so much coffee at work, that by the end of the day, she sometimes felt like an energizer bunny.

JJ was reaching for the mugs in the cabinet when her bedroom door opened and a frantic FBI agent emerged through it.

"JJ!"

"Yeah?" The mugs securely in her hands, the blonde turned around to look at her girlfriend, who was only dressed in her black bra and pants, a dark blue shirt dangling from her hand.

"It's the third shirt this week," Emily whined, slipping her arms into the sleeves.

"You've got plenty of new ones in the closet," JJ said light-heartedly, feeling slightly self-conscious about the topic in question. She was, after all, responsible for the rapid dwindling of Emily's wardrobe – shirt-wise at least.

"Actually, this is the last one," Emily noted absently, still struggling with the sleeves that were somehow tangled together.

"Oh." JJ busied herself with the kettle, but froze when she heard Emily's next words.

"You know, it'd be so much easier if all our stuff was in the same place." The brunette pulled the shirt over her head and was just about to slip her head through the neckline when she realized how her words had come across. She halted her movements, leaving her standing like an idiot in the middle of the kitchen, the shirt halfway on.

JJ walked across the room, and Emily could feel the warmth radiating from her as the blonde came to stand close to her. Mercilessly, she pulled Emily's shirt down, smoothing the fabric over her torso, and then looked up at her.

Emily's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. She really hadn't meant it to sound like it had. But now that it was there, out in the open, she was absolutely terrified that JJ would laugh at her, or somehow downplay the real meaning behind it all. Besides, she'd thought about it. A lot. They practically spent all their free time together anyway, so it was only logical. She just hadn't intended to come out with it quite like that.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" JJ's eyebrows rose in a questioning manner, her eyes sparkling with merriment and her fingers still playing with the hem of her lover's shirt. She watched, fascinated, as a range of emotions danced across Emily's eyes.

"Well..." Emily swallowed, the feel of JJ's fingers brushing against her skin, causing goosebumps. "Would you mind terribly if I did?"

"Hmm..." JJ pretended to be thinking it over.

"And, you know, after that incident at the office Christmas party, it's not like it'd come as a surprise to anyone, really." Emily smiled fondly, and JJ couldn't help blushing. What was it with her and vodka? "Honestly, though. I'm serious, I just really love being with you. " The brunette cleared her throat nervously. "All the time, actually. So, what do you say?" Emily gave her a small peck on the lips.

JJ felt an unexpected lump in her throat. The look on her lover's face was a mixture of excitement, hopefulness, and uncertainty, and JJ had never loved her as much as she did at that very moment. She planted a fervent kiss on Emily's lips and then leaned back, grinning like an idiot.

"You do know this won't really solve yout shirt problem, don't you?"

"Who cares?" Emily let out a relieved chuckle, wrapping her arms tightly around JJ.

It was the third time that month Hotch received a sheepish phone call a little after eight, informing him that Route 95 was, once again, an absolute bitch to navigate in the morning traffic.

"If there is no wind, row."
- Latin proverb

FIN.

fic: criminal minds - between the lines [emily/jj] 3/4

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:20:01 GMT

Title: Between The Lines (3/4)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 7,696
Rating: R
Summary: While solving a case, Emily & JJ are forced to take a closer look at their relationship.

Part I || Part II

PART III

7.

A sharp beeping of a cellphone penetrated Emily's deep state of sleep, and with an annoyed groan, she finally reached for it and switched off the alarm. She always had her cellphone ring at six a.m. when she was working, so she didn't need to check the digital clock on the television to know that she had exactly an hour and a half to drag her butt downstairs and meet the rest of the team.

Taking a deep breath, she blinked. Her eyes fixed on the outline of the window that looked down on the busy street in front of the hotel. It was still dark outside, but there was enough light for her to make out random shapes of furniture and the tall plant in the corner of the room. The noises of traffic could be faintly heard through the glass. Reaching for a light switch, Emily turned on the small bedside lamp and blinked against the sudden brightness that illuminated her surroundings.

Her head felt oddly heavy, the remnants of sleep refusing to let go, and it seemed like every muscle in her body was truly and utterly spent. Furiously rubbing her eyes, Emily tried to sit up, but her right arm refused to move an inch.

It was then that it all came back to her.

A surge of adrenaline washed over her, every instinct suddenly hyper-active. Turning her head to the right, she caught a glimpse of blonde hair and finally registered the soft and regular breathing against her skin. Her colleague was sound asleep on her shoulder, peaceful, her head buried in the crook of Emily's neck, and her arm swung carelessly around her waist.

"Oh no," Emily muttered, details of the previous night coming back to her, one by one. In a need to make absolutely sure, she slowly peered under the sheet; although, she knew exactly what she was going to discover.

No clothes. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

"Shit!" she cursed loud enough for the blonde next to her to stir, but JJ only nuzzled closer to the warm body and soon her breathing was even again. Emily let the sheet fall back on their naked bodies and stared at the ceiling.

This was so not the way she'd imagined it would happen. Getting drunk while working—at least they had been off the clock, she noted, mortified—and then sleeping with your co-worker was pretty much the worst idea in the history of the universe. What the hell had she been thinking?

She should've put a stop to it. JJ obviously hadn't been able to think lucidly; the three vodkas on an empty stomach had made sure of it. And while Emily hadn't been quite sober herself, she'd still been sober enough to know better. But feeling the blonde's lips on hers, a year of longing, hopeless fantasies, and anguish finally coming to an end, she simply hadn't been able to pull back. She hadn't wanted to. She'd been offered the forbidden fruit, and now there wasn't so much as a seed left.

It was all so messed up.

Carefully extracting herself from the sleeping blonde, Emily bitterly realized how incredibly right and perfect it felt to hold JJ, to feel her heartbeat under her palm, and to see her chest rise and fall peacefully. It was everything she'd ever dreamt of – except now it was real, and she had no idea what to do. Her life seemed to be an embodiment of irony.

JJ let out a small whimper when Emily slid out from under her, but thankfully, the movement of the bed didn't wake her up. The brunette let out a sigh of relief. She needed to think, to find a way out of this mess before they were inevitably forced to deal with what they'd done.

There was a small part of Emily which innocently believed that it'd be all right, that maybe JJ could actually feel something for her and that they could live happily ever after in a big house with a white picket fence. The sensible part of her brain laughed at her for being so unbelievably naive and ingenuous. Rationally, she knew this was a dead end, the farthest she could ever get with JJ. She'd blatantly taken advantage of her friend, and she hated herself for it, no matter how amazing the night had actually been.

Pulling on her bra and panties, Emily tried to locate her pants and finally spotted them behind the TV set. She'd barely stepped into them when her cellphone came to life again, playing that annoying default alarm tone she'd grown to hate. Emily froze, her pants halfway up her legs, and stared at the phone on the night-stand in horror.

Fucking snooze.

JJ stirred again. She turned to lie on her back and stretched lazily, the movement causing the sheet to slide back, revealing quite a bit of her upper torso. Emily stared, blushing furiously when the gorgeous sight in front of her brought forward certain images of the previous night.

The brunette quickly pulled her pants the rest of the way up and bent down to fetch her shirt from the floor. She was hugging it to her chest when JJ's eyes slowly opened and met hers. Emily couldn't breathe. The alarm ended, preparing to blast out another awakening in ten minutes time, and left the room in eerie silence.

JJ's eyes were confused at first, the look on her face thoroughly clueless. Then she blinked a few times, her eyes drifting to her bare chest, and Emily could easily pinpoint the exact moment when it all sank in. JJ's eyes widened, her hand flying to her breasts to cover her immodesty, and then she looked up at Emily, shocked.

Neither of them dared to say a word, all that happened the previous night hung like an impenetrable cloud between them. With sadness it dawned on Emily that whatever the outcome might be, their friendship would be changed forever, irreparably damaged. She couldn't believe she'd let it happen; she was usually so level-headed.

Just when Emily had gathered enough courage to break the silence, JJ scrambled to her feet, the white sheet wrapped tightly around her. She quickly collected her clothes into a small bundle, squeezing it tightly against her chest, and then, without a word, disappeared into the bathroom.

Emily stared at the closed door, her emotions at war with each other, wreaking havoc in her head. Feeling oddly numb, she threw on her shirt and buttoned it with trembling fingers. Vehemently combing her hand through her hair, she tried to get rid of the worst tangles that served as further proof of her nightly activities.

When JJ finally emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed, Emily had stood, unsure of what to do, in the middle of the room for a good ten minutes. It hadn't seemed like a fair option to flee and leave the blonde behind, so she'd fidgeted in the same spot, waiting for the damn door to open.

Awkward didn't even begin to describe it. Neither still knew what to say, neither could look the other in the eye, both women wanting nothing more than to run out of the room, screaming. JJ scratched the back of her neck, her left arm protectively wrapped around her middle section. Protection from what, Emily wasn't sure.

"The drinks. Who...I mean...," JJ struggled for words, her cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. And despite the God-awful situation, the naive part of Emily found it adorable.

"I'll just pay the clerk beforehand. It won't show in the bill," Emily replied quietly, immediately able to follow JJ's train of thought.

"Oh, okay." The blonde still wouldn't look at her, and Emily felt a sting of anger in her gut.

So very messed up.

"JJ-," she began, but JJ raised her hand, and Emily's words died on her lips.

"I just...I can't right now." JJ rubbed her eyes and then ran a hand through her golden hair. "I need to go and...and change." With that, JJ turned on her heels, and the door closed behind her with a thud before Emily had time to grasp what was happening.

Emily wasn't quite certain how long she simply stood there, staring at the closed door, wishing she could take the last twelve hours back. She realized, embittered, that she'd swap the previous night for her unrequited love and for having her best friend back in a heartbeat.

And that really was the worst part. For the rest of her life, she would know exactly what she couldn't have, what she would miss. It hadn't been easy before either, but now she wouldn't need to imagine anything because she'd know exactly what it felt like to be with JJ. She could never go back to pretending – it'd never be the same, not even close. It'd be like switching to lemons after you'd run out of oranges; she'd always be able to tell the difference with painful accuracy.

An hour later, Emily found herself sitting on the foot of the bed—the same spot she'd sat only hours before—and staring into space. The clock said 7:20, which meant she had roughly ten minutes to put on her mask of professionalism, force herself to leave the safe haven that was her room, and prepare to work the entire day without being preoccupied by her personal life. She fell back on the bed, the springs of the bed making a squeaking sound.

Yes, she'd be dead by lunchtime.

The rest of the team were already waiting in the lobby when Emily finally stepped out of the elevators on the ground floor. She easily spotted JJ, standing a little apart from the others and wearing her sunglasses – an obvious attempt to hide the black circles under her eyes. After a quick detour to the front desk—she'd just tell the others she needed new towels in her room—Emily joined the team, and they headed out.

It didn't really surprise the brunette that JJ again chose to ride in the SUV she wasn't in. Succumbing to her guilt, Emily stared out of the window without really seeing the scenery and wished she was anywhere but there.

The precinct was already buzzing with energy when they stepped inside a little after eight. The team gathered in their temporary headquarters where Sheriff Gordon was already waiting with a thick manila folder.

"The autopsy report of Charlotte Hemingway came in twenty minutes ago," Gordon began, looking satisfied. "It's basically identical to the last two. The ME wasn't able to get much of anything from the first two victims, but I think this definitely establishes the pattern for certain."

"Good." Hotch nodded. "Then I think we're ready to give the profile." He marched out of the room, the Sheriff close behind him.

"Wait, we are?" Emily asked dryly, consciously avoiding looking in JJ's direction.

"Better just roll with it," Morgan mused, leading the rest of the team to where Hotch and Rossi now stood in the squad room.

Giving a profile was one of the things Emily loved the most about her job. It all came together so beautifully as they took turns in dissecting the criminal mind, the profile being a perfect skeleton of the unsub's psyche. It never ceased to amaze Emily how accurately a person's mental state could be analyzed by using only arbitrary details of them in the visible world.

"We're looking for a man in his mid-30s, Caucasian. The killings started a month ago, so look for stressors around that time; something made him snap," Hotch explained to the roomful of uniformed police officers, most of them furiously taking notes while he spoke.

"His M.O. is rather specific in terms of the means and the method of killing. The stressor most probably had something do with a person close to him, a person who took her own life, presumably by hanging," Emily chimed in, the others nodding slightly as she spoke.

"The unsub is average in every way." Morgan took over from her, taking a few steps forward. "Average-looking, average income, average life. He has a gift of making people trust him, since he was somehow able to lure these women to him."

"At the same time, he's physically unsure of himself. There are no signs of struggle at the scenes because he used chloroform to subdue his victims. He wants to make sure they don't fight back because he might not be able to hold them down," Rossi finished, the officers hanging on every word he said.

"What about the suicide note?" one of the officers asked, and all eyes expectantly turned to Reid.

Clearing his throat, he began explaining in his typically enthusiastic manner. "The wording in the note suggests the unsub is angry at whoever committed suicide and left him behind. He's expressing this anger through these murders and thinks he's doing something noble and courageous. His anger is clearly only fueled by the killings, seeing as how he has escalated radically during the last two weeks.

"Also, the fact that all the victims had previously attempted suicide simply can't be a coincidence. To him, these women are not worthy of anything, so what better way to put them to use," Reid finished, his eyes shining with excitement.

"Somehow our unsub has access to information about the victims' backgrounds. He knows they have a history in terms of suicide, and purposefully, picks his victims that way," Hotch concluded. "Any other questions?"

No arms rose, so Hotch ended the briefing with a nod and led his team to the back office while the officers returned to their daily routine.

"We need to talk with Charlotte Hemingway's family. Dave, you and Prentiss do that. The rest of us will stay here and work on the evidence we have so far. Let's meet back in two hours," Hotch said and Emily nodded, thankful that he'd decided to pair her up with Rossi instead of JJ.

"The media is insisting on a press conference. It's been three days," the blonde media liaison noted flatly when Emily and Rossi were preparing to leave. JJ had removed her sunglasses, and Emily flinched inwardly at the exhaustion that shone on her face.

"Yeah, put one together, but keep the information to a minimum for now," Hotch agreed, his eyes lingering on JJ's tired features.

Walking across the precinct, Emily could feel JJ's eyes burning a hole in her back, but she forced herself to ignore it and followed Rossi out of the building. She had no idea how she could keep on working with JJ after everything that had taken place. Every single detail of their love making was burned into her brain like a brand, and it was a brand that most certainly dictated ownership; in one night, JJ had ruined her for everyone else. Emily knew she would never be able to act like nothing happened between them, if that indeed was what JJ wanted.

Anger and frustration built up inside her, a big lump of blackness in her chest making it hard to breathe or concentrate, and Emily slammed the car door closed a little more forcefully than she'd intended. Rossi glanced at her, his eyebrow slightly crooked, but she was too pissed off to wonder what her open display of irritation might look like to the newest addition to their team.

Feeling like the world was out to get her, Emily realized, that for the first time in over a year, she didn't particularly look forward to working.

8.

It was the fifth time she'd attempted to read through the same paragraph. Tapping the table in a frustrated manner with her thumb, JJ started over again, this time getting two lines in and then losing her concentration. It was impossible; she simply couldn't get anything useful done, and she felt absolutely horrible for it. Personal issues should never override the job at hand, and by letting her mind wander JJ felt like she was letting everyone down.

She'd even royally messed up the press conference by basically giving the impression that it was her first day on the job. Forming coherent thoughts had been insanely difficult, which certainly didn't help when she was supposed to answer the reporters' various questions in a way that didn't make them wonder if she knew what she was talking about. She should've known to expect it beforehand, though; there was no way in hell she would remember anything about the case while the thoughts of Emily making love to her played in an infinite loop inside her head.

And trying to forget sex with Emily Prentiss was something JJ wouldn't have recommended for anyone. Mostly because it was impossible. A paradox. An oxymoron of sorts. One simply didn't forget having sex with the most gorgeous woman on the planet.

She felt ashamed for dealing so poorly with the whole thing afterwards, but her brain couldn't have processed what had just occurred the night before. Standing in the middle of Emily's room, she'd felt like she was on candid camera, and someone had pulled the cruelest joke possible on her, like she was in a farce of some sort, because things like that simply didn't happen to normal people.

And then, there was the look on Emily's face when JJ had stepped out of the bathroom, the one with a mixture of confusion and fear, and that had essentially assured the blonde that she really couldn't talk about it yet, not when she knew exactly what Emily was going to say. It'd break her heart in a million pieces, and she needed to prepare herself before letting Emily tell her, in all likelihood volubly and with colorful terms, why they should simply forget anything ever happened.

All this, because she was stupid enough to get drunk.

JJ had never been a big drinker; usually she took a drink or two when she was out with friends or the team, and maybe partake in some wine at dinner when she was truly pampering herself after a particularly difficult day. But she never, ever, got drunk on vodka with a co-worker and while basically on duty, and then flagrantly took advantage of said co-worker who was probably just too polite to turn her down.

She really should've known better than to take Emily's suggestion for a drink. She'd known the alcohol would loosen her tongue—especially since she hadn't really eaten anything the entire day—and perhaps, make her say or do something she'd regret later. But nothing like this. Nothing. She'd felt so defeated, and seeing Emily standing there, her eyes shining with tenderness and understanding, JJ had relented without much struggle. And if that wasn't enough, she hadn't even been smart enough to overindulge in her drinking so that she wouldn't remember anything the following morning. It certainly would've made the whole thing significantly easier to deal with.

The amount of self-loathing JJ felt at that very moment could've cast an ominous shadow over the entire precinct, if it was distributed equally.

She was so engrossed in her internal battle that she didn't notice Emily and Rossi's return until the latter dropped a large case file on the desk with a thud, startling her. She glanced up from the file she was supposedly reading, and her eyes landed on the soft curves of Emily Prentiss, who was standing in front of the evidence board. The brunette was studying the different crime scene photos and various pieces of paper pinned to the board, her back to the room and to JJ.

"Anything useful from the family?" Hotch asked from the other side of the table, forcing JJ to take her eyes off of Emily’s backside.

"Hmph," Rossi snorted, taking a seat at the far end of the table as well. "Nothing we hadn't heard already. Her first suicide attempt was five years ago after she and her husband lost their child in a car accident. But apparently she was back to 'normal' again and living happily with said husband."

"It's the previous suicide attempts which work as a commonality between these cases, so maybe we should concentrate solely on that," Morgan suggested, pouring a cup of coffee from the pot that had been delivered to them by a polite beat cop just moments before.

"Guys?" Emily's voice interrupted whatever it was that Hotch was about to say, and all eyes shifted to the brunette, who was still scrutinizing the board.

She turned around, her eyes shining. "Does it seem odd to anyone else that none of the victims had their cellphones with them? In fact, their cells haven't popped up anywhere."

Rossi's eyes narrowed. "Go on," he encouraged her, clearly intrigued by this seemingly irrelevant detail.

"It just occurred to me that when we interviewed Sally Dern's parents yesterday, her mother remarked that Sally was constantly calling to assure them everything was fine. Well, if she called so often, where's her cellphone? It's the 21st century, everyone has one." Now having the undivided attention of everyone in the room, Emily pointed to the photos of the personal items that were recovered at each scene.

"And it wouldn't be half as odd if the other victims weren't missing their cellphones as well. All of their purses were found in the vicinity of the crime scenes, but no phones. Although I have no idea why, I'd be willing to bet my right arm that the unsub took them as souvenirs." Emily crossed her arms on her chest, waiting for the verdict.

"Nice catch," Hotch said, impressed. "Morgan, get Garcia on the phone."

The robust agent hit speed dial and put the phone on speaker.

"The office of everything supreme, how may I rock your world?" Garcia's cheery voice sounded through the speaker, earning a round of chuckles from the rest of the team.

"Garcia, we need you to see if the victims owned a cellphone," Hotch instructed the computer whiz, and soon a faint sound of fingers tapping on keyboard could be heard.

"Yep, they all had one. At least, they all paid a phone bill once a month," Garcia concurred.

"Can you pull their phone records and cross-reference them?" Emily cut in, leaning her hands against the table. "I have a hunch," she explained and shrugged when the others looked at her, puzzled.

"Easily, but it's going to take a while," Garcia replied, the sounds of the keyboard increasing.

"Just call back when you're done," Hotch instructed.

"Right-O." The line went dead, and the atmosphere in the room was suddenly more excited than ever before during their stay.

Hotch had told them all to take a short break, before getting back to the endless task of going through files and documents, and JJ had taken the opportunity to head outside in a vain attempt of clearing her head. After what had to be close to a quarter of an hour, she was convinced that nothing she did would ameliorate her mood in the slightest. There was no other option than to try and concentrate the best she could because it, frankly, couldn't get any worse than it already was.

Of course, she was greatly mistaken.

As she was walking back to the countless files and trivial details, someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into a small, unoccupied office. She snatched her arm back and, her eyes burning with fury, turned to look at the person who'd interrupted her journey. The air was knocked out of her lungs when she realized she was staring at Emily, Emily with a look of uneasiness and nervousness on her face.

"What are you doing?" JJ asked, her voice more annoyed than she intended. She subconsciously rubbed the spot on her arm where the brunette had touched her.

"We need to talk." Emily closed the door firmly behind her and stood in front of it, efficiently cutting off JJ's only means of escaping.

"I don't think we do." The room suddenly felt a whole lot smaller.

"What the hell is wrong with you, JJ?" Emily raised her voice and took a step forward.

"God, nothing's wrong with me!" All the frustration JJ had felt manifested itself as pure anger. "And we certainly don't need to talk because I have no idea why I was moronic enough to sleep with my co-worker!"

"Right," Emily mumbled, casting her eyes to the floor between them. "Well, I can see it's really bothering you, so-,"

"Don't profile me, Emily." JJ's voice was low and cold.

"It actually doesn't take a profiler to see it." Emily snorted humorlessly.

"I need to get back to work." JJ said as evenly as she could.

"Exactly. Look, we need to work together, so could we just talk and get it over with?"

"We're only working together because you were Strauss' personal sock puppet!"

JJ knew she'd crossed the line with that one. She felt a horrible pang of guilt hit her when she saw Emily's face grow pale and her eyes flash with hurt. The anger inside her subsided and was replaced by sadness so powerful she felt she was drowning in it. She couldn't believe she'd gone that far; she knew that was the one thing Emily felt insecure about in terms of her role in the BAU. The brunette had told JJ about the whole Strauss debacle, on the spur of the moment, when they'd gone for drinks one time after work. Emily didn't trust people easily, that much was clear, and she'd confided in JJ, and now the blonde had thrown it back in her face like it meant nothing to her.

She was such an asshole.

"Wow." Emily's voice was rough, making JJ cringe. "I honestly thought you were different, JJ." The way she said it, the amount of disappointment and mortification encoded in her words, made the blonde want to cry.

"Emily," she began, desperate to apologize, to explain everything. But before she had the chance to do so, there was a sharp knock on the door, and Reid popped his head in.

"Garcia's got something." Apparently it didn't seem odd at all to him that the two women were standing in the middle of an empty and poorly-lit office. Reid simply offered a smile, blowing a few random locks of hair off his face.

Emily followed him out of the room before JJ could stop her, and the blonde was left standing alone in the dark. She fought the urge to curl up in the corner and weep. She forced her legs to move and finally followed the other agents, trying to hide the pain she was in. She'd just irrevocably hurt the person who meant the most to her in the whole world, and there really was no other pain like that.

Impassively, she stepped back into the room and moved to stand at the far end, as far away from Emily as possible. She noticed that the brunette was sporting her usual mask of authority as if the earlier conversation had never taken place. It always seemed like the other woman was used to it, used to hiding herself from the world. She made it look so effortless while JJ herself was seriously struggling. Emily once again leaned over the table, her eyes focused on the speaker in front of her.

"Well, what do you know, my little cherubs, the phone records showed something very intriguing," Garcia said with excitement.

"We just got the fax you sent, so go on, Hot Stuff." Morgan grinned, and JJ had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Yes, the constant flirting between the two was adorable, but right now, she felt like throwing the speaker against the wall. She took a deep, calming breath and concentrated on the matter at hand.

"I cross-referenced all the records like Emily asked, and I found something interesting. All of them have one number in common, as in all of the victims have called it. The calls lasted from ten to thirty minutes. Well, this might not be more than a coincidence, but then I checked the time in each record, and each call was placed less than twelve hours before the particular time of death," Garcia explained fervently.

"What number is it?" Rossi asked, a hint of impatience in his voice.

"That's the best part. It's a number for a suicide help line in the Chicago area." Garcia sounded almost gleeful.

"And that's how he knows his victims." Emily straightened up.

"Garcia, do you have an address?" Hotch asked, already standing up from his seat, ready to embark on their next task.

"But of course."

In spite of her massive failure in terms of her personal life, JJ felt that familiar thrilling sensation in the pit of her stomach for getting yet another step closer to the unsub. When they headed out to the cars, hastily pulling on kevlar and making sure their guns were in place, JJ mused that this was exactly what she needed right now; a little adrenaline rush and taking down a bad guy would mercifully take her mind off of other things and give her a moment of peace. Hopping in the car next to Sheriff Gordon, her hair already in a ponytail, she felt positive for the first time all day.

The building where the help line offices were located stood tall in downtown Chicago. The skyscraper impressively reached for the sky in front of them, and JJ felt smaller and smaller as they approached yet another massive epitome of the modern world.

It took them a little while to find the right floor, but then the elevator doors slid open on the 35th, and JJ felt another surge of adrenaline flow through her veins. The room in front of them was large and divided into small cubicles like any other office space. They stepped cautiously out of the elevator, the blonde only moderately aware of Emily standing not far to her right, their eyes darting around the space with suspicion. Their ears were filled with ringing of the phones and people chattering away.

Some employers in the cubicles closest to the elevator looked at them with bewilderment, and finally a man in jeans and a stylish shirt approached them.

"I'm Max Gerrard, the head of this department. Can I help you?" He eyed them nervously.

"We're looking for an employer of yours." Rossi stepped beside Hotch, his hand on his belt making him look nothing short of intimidating.

"Who might that be?"

"We're not quite sure yet," Rossi said lightly, and Max frowned.

"He's very much average, middle-aged, he's precise and doesn't like disarray," Hotch started listing. "He's never late, and although he's probably been here a while, no one really knows anything about him."

"Damn, that's Phil to a T!" Max chuckled and then obviously realized that there must be a grave reason for the presence of the FBI, his face growing serious again.

"Is he here now?" Rossi asked, his eyes pinning the man to the spot.

"Yeah, uh, Phil Flanders, he's in his cubicle. It's one of the last ones in that row." He pointed to his left. "It's where all the calls to the suicide help line come in."

"Thank you. Stay here, please," Hotch said, and with a quick look at the others, he started slowly making his way past the first set of cubicles.

Her hand slightly on the butt of her gun, JJ followed suit, her heart beating fast against her ribcage. They were halfway down the aisle when there was commotion in front of them. Someone from a cubicle not far from them jumped up, his eyes widening with horror when he saw the team of FBI agents heading his way.

"Jesus!" he shrieked. "I'm truly gonna pay that bill as soon as my next paycheck comes in! I swear! Just please don't arrest me!" The man stepped in front of them, his hands raised above his head, eyes wide with terror. He was trembling all over.

"We're not here for you," Hotch said, his voice unusually chilly, and the man swallowed. Just as quickly as he'd appeared, the man apologized furiously, explaining something about not having any unpaid bills after all, and then stumbled back into his cubicle. JJ rolled her eyes and saw Emily grinding her teeth, clearly annoyed.

When they turned back to their intended destination, they saw a man sprinting towards a door at the end of the room. Cursing heavily, Rossi started after him, the rest of the team following close behind. There was a glowing exit sign above the door.

"Morgan, Prentiss, JJ. Check upstairs. The rest of us go down," Hotch gave the order before he was fully through the doorway. He headed down the stairs without a second look behind him, the team splitting in two as the three assigned agents started their journey up the steep steps while the others followed Hotch.

JJ unholstered her gun, following Emily's example, and stayed near the brunette, who was leading the way. Her finger-tips tingled with excitement as she felt the cool metal of her semi-automatic between her hands.

It was fairly recent that the team included the blonde in their field missions. Although JJ had been more than qualified as a field agent when joining the team, somehow her specialty being media relations had come across as an equivalent for 'no field action, please'. Truth be told, it had definitely felt ridiculous at times for her to walk around with a gun attached to her hip while in reality she never needed it. Perhaps, she could've brought it up with Hotch sooner, but when Elle had left the Bureau, JJ had all of a sudden found herself being included in all the action. Due to lack of experience, she'd been hesitant at first, not sure whether she was of any use to the team, but with time, she'd become more and more confident, and now, she almost craved for some field time whenever they had a case.

The threesome arrived at the next floor, and Morgan pointed to the door leading to another office, indicating with his hand that he was going to check it out. Nodding in acknowledgment, Emily and JJ steadily continued their way upwards, soon realizing that there were no other floors after the one Morgan was investigating. The stairs spiraled two or three times more before the two women found themselves standing behind a thick steel door which led to the rooftop. A rusty padlock hung on a little metal hook, unlocked.

Emily glanced at JJ, her hand on the bar, ready to burst through. JJ looked back and nodded, easily understanding Emily's silent question. Satisfied by her response, the brunette pushed the door open and moved quickly to the bright daylight, her hands firmly holding the gun before her. JJ followed, her eyes darting from one possible hiding place to the next.

Emily steered to the left, so JJ headed in the opposite direction on the vast rooftop. There were various storage boxes standing in front of her, and she cautiously made her away around them, securing every direction before continuing forward. After rounding another corner and spotting absolutely nothing suspicious, JJ saw the edge of the building and sighed with exasperation. Step by step, she drew nearer to the wide stone railing and the last storage unit that blocked her of a complete view to Lake Michigan.

JJ didn't know why exactly, but she made the fatal mistake of quickly glancing behind her, before taking the last turn around the final corner, and the next thing she knew, there was a hard blow to her wrist which sent her arm flying to a wall. She lost the grip on her gun as pain radiated up her arm, the weapon making a clattering sound when it hit the ground. Disoriented, JJ glanced up, and for a brief moment, her eyes met those of a feeble-looking man before she felt another hard push as the man ran past her.

It all took only a second or two at most, but for JJ, it had happened in slow motion and had felt like an eternity. She'd felt the push as the unsub shoved her aside, and then her hip came into contact with the railing. She gave a strangled cry as her brain registered what was about to happen, and her heart stopped when she realized there was absolutely nothing she could do to prevent it. She grabbed the edge of the railing with her left hand, the laws of physics making fun of her as the rest of her flew over it. Her body slammed against the gray stone wall, and a sharp pain shot through her shoulder, making her eyes water. But the surface of the railing was smooth and round, and the weight of her body was far too much for her arm. Her fingers were slipping, and then there was that terrifying moment, lasting less than a fraction of a second, when she knew that she couldn't hold on and that she was going to fall. With horror, JJ felt her fingers lose the battle against gravity, and then there was only air under her.

Just when she thought she was going to die for certain, something wrapped around her wrist and effectively stopped her falling motion. She tried to claw her way back up, her feet easily slipping on the flat surface of the stone and every failed attempt fueling the growing panic inside of her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the tiny cars, miniature streets, and people that swarmed like an ant colony hundreds of feet below her.

JJ knew she was hyperventilating, which was never a good thing, and then the feeling of panic and shock was simply too overwhelming. She screamed and cried and yelled and begged, all the while furiously trying to propel herself upward.

"JJ!" The blonde vaguely registered someone calling her name. "JJ!" Again.

Emily.

The blonde looked up sharply into brown, scared eyes and finally realized that it was Emily's hand around her wrist, keeping her from falling. She quickly wrapped her right hand around Emily's, instinctively holding on for dear life. Panic raised its ugly head again, and she looked back down.

"Oh, God! Pull me up! Pull me up!" JJ almost didn't recognize her own voice. "Please, pull me up, pleasepleaseplase..." Her pleading faded to desperate whispers.

"JJ, look at me!" Emily's voice broke through her hysteria again. "Look at me!"

Taking a shaky breath, the blonde looked back up, meeting Emily's reassuring eyes. The other woman gave a small smile, and JJ knew she'd be all right.

"Good." Emily nodded. "Here's what we're going to do. You need to let go-,"

"No! Don't let go!" JJ's fingers curled even tighter around the brunette's hand for emphasis.

"JJ, we don't have time for this!" Emily held the eye contact. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." A whisper.

"Okay. Then do what I tell you to do. You need to let go of my hand. I won't let you fall, I promise. I'll pull you upwards, and you'll take hold of the railing, so that I can grab your waist and pull you all the way over. Okay?" The confidence that greeted JJ in Emily's eyes calmed her down enough to concentrate, and she nodded weakly.

"On three." Emily's eyes never left the blonde's. "One...two...three!"

JJ felt her body move up, and then she saw the railing and grabbed it with everything she had. Emily got a hold of a belt loop, and soon JJ felt herself being pulled over the edge and back to solid ground. She swung her arms around Emily's mid-section, holding on as tightly as she could, and they stumbled backwards, ending up on the ground a few feet away from the edge.

She was shaking uncontrollably, her fingers digging into the harsh kevlar Emily was wearing, her breathing ragged and fast. JJ felt the other agent envelop her in a warm embrace, shielding her from everything around them, and she allowed herself to bury her head in the crook of Emily's neck. Squeezing her eyes shut, she concentrated on the rapid beating of Emily's heart under her ear. She fought the need to hyperventilate, trying to convince herself that everything was fine, and that she wasn't going to fall. The presence of the brunette next to her eased the extreme trepidation that was still looming under the surface.

Gradually, her own heart stopped racing, and the magnitude of what had nearly just happened sank in. Taking a shuddering breath, JJ opened her eyes, content with just letting her head rest on Emily's shoulder. Emily's hand made reassuring circles on her back, and JJ couldn't remember if she'd ever felt as cared for as she did at that very moment.

Reluctantly, JJ eventually pulled back. They looked at each other, Emily's hand still firmly on the blonde's back, and JJ could see the relief she was feeling reflected back in the brunette's eyes.

"That was close," JJ said with a shaky voice, needing to make light of the situation.

"Too close." Emily shook her head in disbelief, turning to look at the edge that would most certainly cause nightmares for the blonde in the future.

"The unsub. What happened?" JJ finally remembered why she'd almost been sent flying without a parachute in the first place.

"No idea. It was either you or chasing him, so..." Emily's words faded away, and it hit JJ just how incredibly close she'd been to becoming a wet patch on the sidewalk.

Suddenly feeling an almost compulsive need to make sure she was, indeed, safe, JJ grabbed Emily's hand tightly, soundlessly pleading for understanding. She felt the tears of shock and fear burning her eyes, and she finally stopped resisting when the brunette's hand wrapped tightly around hers. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she looked into Emily's eyes, so gentle and full of something so powerful that it took JJ's breath away.

And then she recognized it, all the pieces of the puzzle locking into place. She remembered seeing that look before. She remembered seeing it so many times during briefings, when they were sitting opposite each other on the plane, when they went for drinks after work, when Emily took her hand after Garcia was shot, when they were sitting close together in Emily's hotel room the previous evening. She remembered the intensity of that look, how it took over her entire being and left her breathless. The final details of their night together were revealed to her before her very eyes, and with wonder she realized how that look—what it signified—had been present in every look, every kiss, every tender touch of Emily's hands.

In awe, JJ understood the depth of the emotion she saw in the other woman, and she wondered how it was possible that she'd never been aware of it until now. The events in the precinct earlier that day came back to her, and she chastised herself for being so unbelievably blind and clueless about what had been right in front of her the whole time. All of a sudden, she saw every interaction, every look and touch in a different light. Tears long dried up, the blonde simply observed Emily in amazement.

Seeing the change in JJ's demeanor, Emily quickly looked away and self-consciously cleared her throat. With a small grunt, the brunette rose to her feet, wiping dirt off her navy-blue pants, and then held out her hand for the other woman. JJ took the offered hand with gratitude, and Emily pulled her up with one, swift motion.

"Come on, duty calls," Emily said softly, all the while still running her thumb soothingly over JJ's knuckles. "And we need to get that shoulder of yours checked out."

JJ then remembered her injury and winced as she tried to move her left shoulder, a jolt of pain shooting through her entire arm – yet another reminder of how dead she could be without the woman standing next to her. The adrenaline was, little by little, wearing off, and JJ could feel the gnawing pain becoming more and more intense by the minute. Emily handed JJ her gun, and the blonde slipped it back to its usual place on her hip.

Her hand securely on JJ's lower back, Emily guided her away from the edge and back towards the door that led into the building. They'd just rounded the last two storage units when the door in front of them flew open, and Morgan emerged, his gun pointing straight at them for a few seconds before he recognized who they were.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, worry obvious in his voice. He holstered his gun and studied the two women, who approached him with a fatigued look on their faces.

"We had a little incident," Emily replied. It was the understatement of the century.

"Did we get Flanders?" JJ asked, her left hand hanging unnaturally still at her side as she tried not to move it any more than she had to.

"Yeah, he ran right at me in the stairs. Son of a bitch surrendered without a peep. I took him downstairs, and when Hotch and the others joined us and told me that they hadn't heard anything from you guys, I got a little worried." Morgan swept moisture off his forehead, his eyes turning to JJ's shoulder.

"Seriously though, what happened to your shoulder?" He opened the door for the two women, curiously studying them.

"Let's just say that I won't be going to any rooftops anytime soon," JJ said through clenched teeth, the pain in her shoulder now absolutely excruciating. Thankful for the body next to her, she pressed a little closer to Emily and let the other woman lead the way. As always.

Next: Part IV

fic: criminal minds - between the lines [emily/jj] 2/4

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:08:38 GMT

Title: Between The Lines (2/4)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 4,739
Rating: R
Summary: While solving a case, Emily & JJ are forced to take a closer look at their relationship.

Part I

PART II

5.

The day had been grueling. Even Emily, who was somewhat used to the role of being the bearer of bad news, felt absolutely worn out by the time they arrived at their final destination, the house of Rod and Helena Thompson.

Stepping tiredly out of the black SUV, the brunette again took notice of JJ's resigned posture and wondered if they should've taken that break earlier after all; it was truly exhausting to go through the same ordeal of interviewing the grieving families over and over again, to see the desperation and sadness in the family's eyes, and knowing that the news they brought probably only added to it.

But Emily wasn't stupid. She was perfectly aware that JJ would take any expressions of concern as questioning her professionalism, so instead of asking pointless and inane questions, Emily simply settled for smiling reassuringly before knocking on the big, mahogany door in front of them. Taking a deep breath, Emily prepared herself for what was hopefully the final challenge of the day.

The door was opened by a robust, middle-aged man who looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. For the fourth time that day, Emily made the usual presentations and asked if they could possibly ask some more questions.

"Haven't you people harassed us enough already?" Rod Thompson asked wearily, but stepped aside anyway, letting the women enter.

Helena Thompson stood in their elegantly furnished living room, a wild and scared look in her eyes. Emily guessed that the woman had heard who they were and what their business was, so she only nodded politely.

"What do you want?" Mr. Thompson joined his wife, cautiously eyeing the FBI agents standing in the middle of his house.

"I'm afraid we have some bad news." Fourth time and it still wasn't getting any easier.

Mrs. Thompson let out a terrified shriek while her husband held on to her tighter, his eyes widening in shock.

"Murdered?" The look on Mr, Thompson's face was one of pure horror.

"I'm afraid so." Emily couldn't imagine how the parents must have felt at that moment, and she hoped she would never have to know.

"Was your daughter acting any differently before Monday? Any new hobbies or friends?" Emily asked as compassionately as she could, fighting the urge to cross her arms defensively when Mrs. Thompson looked sharply at her.

"She was fine." It was Mr. Thompson who answered. "She was back to her old self again, you know, after the...the..." His voice cracked, and he had to look away.

"I'm sorry, but why are you here exactly? Shouldn't you be out there, looking for the monster who did this to Cheryl?" Mrs. Thompson raised her voice, and Emily could hardly blame her for being so emotional.

JJ stepped to Emily's side, gesturing calmly with her hands.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Thompson. We're only doing our job. And it is our job to find him."

Emily didn't see it coming. If she had, she most certainly would've reacted sooner.

Mrs. Thompson took a few rapid steps and slapped JJ across the face, hard. Emily lunged forward and wedged herself between the two women, facing the enraged mother, her hand subconsciously grabbing JJ's wrist behind her.

"Well, why don't you leave us alone and go find my daughter's killer then?" Mr. Thompson pulled his distraught wife away from the two agents, struggling to keep a hold of her.

"Darling, calm down," he begged, his voice heavy and full of heartfelt sadness. Finally, Mrs. Thompson seemed to burn out of energy; she slumped forward, clung to her husband desperately, and wept.

"I'm sorry," he offered weakly, looking a tad embarrassed.

"It's okay," Emily assured, feeling JJ pull away from her. She glanced behind her and saw the blonde leaving the room, soon followed by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Self-consciously clearing her throat, she turned back to the Thompsons.

"I'll leave my card. When you're ready, don't hesitate to call me." She placed the card on the table next to her and smiled an apologetic smile before making her way out of the house.

She found JJ standing next to the SUV, her back to the house, and her shoulders slouched in a defeated manner. Emily felt her heart break a little at the sight. She walked slowly to the blonde and placed a hand tentatively on her shoulder. Feeling the other woman tense, she simply gave JJ's shoulder a little squeeze and stepped to stand in front of her.

JJ was pinching the bridge of her nose, her entire being full of exhaustion. Assessing the situation, Emily threw her earlier restrictions out of the window and regarded the blonde determinedly.

"Let me see," Emily said, urging JJ to look at her.

JJ swatted the other agent's hand away, annoyed.

"Emily, I'm fine. Let's just go." The blonde turned her head away from her concerned colleague, but Emily was having none of that.

"JJ, cut the crap and let me have a look." Emily's voice didn't leave any room for negotiation, so JJ just sighed and turned back to the brunette.

Placing her hand under JJ's chin, Emily canted her head to the side and inspected the angry, red mark on the blonde's cheek.

"It's a little red. Shouldn't be anything too serious, though." She smiled encouragingly, and JJ's features softened a notch.

"Could we just go, please?" JJ asked, resigned, looking pleadingly at Emily. She looked innocent and lost, nothing like the tough FBI agent she usually was, and Emily felt a sudden need to shield the other woman from all the horrors of the world. She wanted to make sure no one ever hurt her ever again, as irrational as it sounded.

But JJ wasn't hers to protect. The press liaison was completely capable of taking care of herself, and she’d be absolutely appalled if she knew that someone thought she was in need of protection.

"Sure." Emily nodded.

She watched as JJ opened the truck door and climbed inside. Hesitating just for a few seconds, Emily quickly rounded the vehicle to the driver's side. Once she was inside, she laid her hands on the wheel and took a quick look at the woman in the passenger seat.

"You know, someone once hit me on the head with a table lamp."

JJ's head whipped around, and she stared at Emily, dumbfounded. There was a clear, red outline of a hand on her cheek now.

"Seriously?" JJ's eyes were like saucers. Emily's face remained serious.

"No, but would it make you feel better if I lied and said yes?" Emily cracked a smile, unable to keep a straight face.

JJ blinked a few times and then gave a small chuckle. "Sheesh." Shaking her head, she leaned back against the head-rest, momentarily forgetting her bad mood. To Emily it was like sunrise, and she felt warm for knowing that she'd succeeded in making JJ feel better.

The ringing of her cellphone distracted the brunette from her musings, and she snatched the phone from her belt, a small smile still lingering on her lips. It quickly faded away, however, when she heard Hotch's voice in her ear, explaining the latest turn of events.

JJ sensed the mood in the car shift, and she looked at Emily, locking eyes with her. Tilting her head in a silent question, JJ intently followed every tiny change in Emily's features, as if the information could somehow be interpreted and passed along that way.

"Yeah, we just finished. We'll be there as soon as we can." Emily finished the call and let out a long sigh.

"What is it?"

"We've got a new body," Emily answered flatly, already navigating the car back to the street. From the corner of her eye, she saw JJ's improving mood make a crash landing and cursed the incredibly lousy timing of Hotch's phone call.

It didn't surprise Emily that neither of them felt like talking on their way to the crime scene. Afternoon had already begun to turn into early evening, shadows growing steadily and the first street lamps glowing dimly before lighting up properly.

Eyeing the GPS monitor every now and then, Emily made sure they were heading in the right direction while all the while being painfully aware of the brooding agent next to her. She knew that JJ's current state of mind couldn't be all because of the new case; it'd been a difficult year for the blonde, and everything had, in a way, culminated with the Fredericksburg case a while back – a case that was exceptionally difficult for JJ.

The profound urge to console the other woman had been almost impossible for Emily to ignore back then, and she was fighting that same urge yet again when she glanced at JJ and took notice of the empty look on the other woman's face.

She opened her mouth to say something in order to break the silence that hung heavily around them, when the GPS lady suddenly chirped up and informed the agents that they were only a mile away from the intended destination. Within no time, Emily could see the flashing police lights in the distance and slowed down, inching the car next to its twin near the crime scene.

Rossi approached them when the two women stepped out of the vehicle, and together, they made their way to the crime scene tape and ducked underneath it.

"Charlotte Hemingway, 35. Not pretty," was all Rossi said, and Emily only nodded.

JJ walked a few feet behind her, so it was Emily who saw the body first. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on the body a few feet up in the air. Swirling around, she stepped in front of JJ who came to a sudden halt when the other agent crossed her path.

"Emily?" She frowned tiredly.

"Maybe it's better if you don't look, JJ." Emily knew it was absolutely pointless, but she had to try anyway.

"What are you talking about?" JJ's eyes flashed dangerously, and Emily knew the blonde thought she was belittling her.

Stepping around her, JJ left Emily standing in her wake, and the brunette slowly turned around. JJ had stopped abruptly, transfixed, her eyes on the body of a young woman who was hanging from a tree branch before her. JJ's hands were in tight fists, and Emily could tell she was shaking when she finally walked to stand beside the blonde.

The resemblance was uncanny; blonde, 30-ish, shoulder-length hair, smart-looking business suit, slender figure, beautiful features. Emily swallowed and looked away; the similarities causing a shiver go down her spine. Looking at JJ, she realized that the blonde's eyes were still fixed on the body, the look in them a mixture of bewilderment and impassivity.

"JJ?" Emily inquired quietly, but the other agent didn't seem to react in any way.

"This day just gets better and better," JJ suddenly muttered and turned on her heels, heading back to the cars. Emily followed her retreating form helplessly with her eyes and wished she could go after her without making a scene.

"Is she okay?" It was Hotch, and Emily turned back to their boss who had materialized next to her.

"Yeah." She tried to smile as confidently as she could. "A little altercation with a victim's family, but nothing to worry about."

"I see." Emily could tell Hotch didn't completely believe her, but he let it be.

"Definitely the same killer?" Emily asked when she was certain Hotch was done with the previous subject.

"Without a doubt. The note was the same again, and the forensics also found ladder imprints on the ground."

"It looks like the unsub's spinning out of control," Emily noted grimly and Hotch nodded in agreement.

"Two victims in three days. Doesn't look good."

They stood in silence and watched as the forensics personnel slowly lowered the body to the ground, and after the preliminary examination by the ME, the victim was zipped up in a black body bag. Rossi joined the two agents when the body was finally wheeled from the scene.

"The family has been notified, but there's no use for us to talk to them before morning," Rossi said, his impressive, Italian features somehow becoming more apparent in the bright police lights that were still flashing in the vicinity.

"I was thinking the same," Hotch agreed and loosened up his tie a little. "We also won't have the autopsy report on Charlotte Hemingway before morning, so we should call it a day."

Emily nodded and wished the two men goodnight, secretly relieved that she could go to the hotel and not think about the case for the next ten hours. And it really didn't have anything to do with the murdered women.

She found JJ already sitting in the passenger seat when she reached the SUV and hopped behind the wheel for the millionth time that day. The blonde glanced quickly at her and then turned back to stare out the side window. For a moment, Emily wondered if she should bring up what had happened at the crime scene, but then she realized how unbelievably tired and burned out she was. The last thing she wanted to do was to try another useless attempt at a supportive talk with her just as drained colleague. So, with a final look at the crime scene that was still buzzing with people, she turned the key in the ignition and let the whole matter drop.

Emotionally spent, Emily realized that she really would've needed that relaxation the previous night.

6.

JJ twisted and turned in her large queen-sized bed, trying to find a comfortable position among the abundance of fluff and softness. She was tired beyond belief, but her subconscious had declared a war and had obviously decided to keep her awake as long as possible. Giving up with an annoyed sigh, she flopped on her back and stared at the ceiling which was just as generic as every other of the dozens and dozens of hotel room ceilings she'd seen during the past few years.

The drive to the hotel had been awkward to say the least, the knowledge of what had happened at the crime scene hanging heavily between them, but Emily hadn't said a word. After they'd signed in, the brunette had simply wished JJ a good night, before disappearing into the room next to hers.

Ready to sleep 24 hours straight, JJ had discarded her clothes in record time and was under the soft covers before the digital clock above the TV showed 9:30. Burying her head in the gigantic pillow, she'd let out a sigh of contentment and prepared herself to be whisked away to dream land and away from everything that had to do with the BAU.

Except, that never happened.

The clock showed 12:00 now, the red digits glowing in the dark, almost as if mocking her.

"Goddammit," she whispered in the darkness and buried her hands in her hair, fighting the tears of anger that threatened to spill over. There really was nothing worse than wanting to sleep when you weren't able to do so.

JJ had always been independent. She'd always solved her own problems, and she didn't expect, nor did she want, anyone else's help. Independence was a virtue to her, one of the characteristics she valued the most in herself, and that's why she mentally kicked herself when, fifteen minutes later, she found herself standing in the corridor outside of Emily's room.

She'd thought about it long and hard while haphazardly dressing. There was no way she'd go to Rossi or Hotch; that'd be like telling your father you're a failure. She could never take the embarrassment. And she couldn't go to Morgan or Reid either, because Reid would only gawk at her like she was talking Greek, and Morgan would probably suggest she get laid, or something equally bright.

So that left Emily. Because Emily got her. Plain and simple.

Fidgeting in the corridor, it finally hit her that Emily could actually be fast asleep for all she knew. The utter insanity of her antics finally registered with her, and, distressed, she leaned her back against the wall. And how wise was it anyway to force herself on the person she was harboring almost illicit feelings for, really?

Seconds turned into minutes, and finally JJ had had enough. Taking a determined step towards the door, she knocked softly, listening carefully for any signs of movement inside. She held her breath and fought the urge to flee to her own room while she still had time.

Finally, there was the sound of the lock being turned, and JJ swallowed in horror. Confused brown eyes peered at her for a second or two when the door cracked open, but then Emily seemed to realize who'd been knocking, and the door slid all the way open.

"JJ?" Emily's voice was uncertain, and JJ truly started doubting her earlier reasoning. With satisfaction, she took note that Emily was still wearing her work clothes, so at least, she hadn't woken the poor woman.

"Hi." JJ said with an uncertain wave and abashedly tucked the hand under her arm when she realized how silly it looked. "I know it's late, and I'm so sorry to bother you, but..." God, this was insane.

"Oh, I wasn't really doing anything." Emily smiled, and JJ let out a sigh of relief.

"I..." She couldn't look at Emily, the ridiculousness of the situation making her cheeks burn. "To be honest, I don't really know what I'm doing here."

Her head was starting to ache, and she just wished the ground would swallow her up, because this whole thing was rapidly turning into total humiliation. Pinching the bridge of her nose for the umpteenth time that day, she regarded the other woman miserably.

But instead of laughing or making fun of JJ's bizarre nightly adventures, Emily stepped aside from the doorway, an understanding look in her eyes which the blonde knew so well.

"Wanna come in?" she asked simply, and at that moment, JJ knew exactly why she was standing at Emily's door and not anyone else's.

Taking a ragged breath, JJ stepped into the room, hearing the door close with a small click behind her. Self-consciously sitting on the foot of the bed, JJ looked at Emily who had taken a few steps into the room and was now studying her attentively.

"We need a drink." The brunette said matter-of-factly and walked to the minibar with three long strides. The door made a faint 'psssshhh' noise when she opened it.

"Give me a vodka." Hearing JJ's request, Emily turned to her, frowning uncertainly.

"You hate vodka." The brunette reached for the bottle anyway.

"I don't care, I want one." JJ knew she sounded like a five-year-old, begging her mom for candy at a store, but after the day she'd had, she was past caring.

Emily handed over one of the small bottles and then took one herself. JJ gratefully accepted the offered item, unscrewed the lid and downed the contents with one gulp. The liquid unpleasantly burned the back of her throat, but the warmness that spread through her limbs was totally worth it.

"Here's a..." Emily stopped dead in her tracks. "...glass."

"Give me another one."

"JJ," Emily warned, but the blonde raised her hand to silence her colleague.

"Emily, I'm fine. I just need to take the edge off tonight," she explained and knew that Emily would relent.

With a roll of her eyes, Emily reached for another bottle and brought it with her to the bed. Sitting next to JJ, she handed it to her and took a sip from her own.

They sat in comfortable silence, both sipping their vodkas and both observing the other from the corners of their eyes. JJ felt her entire body relax, little by little, and the hint of her headache was practically gone already. Taking yet another gulp from her bottle, she mused that coming to Emily was the best decision she'd made all day.

"Couldn't sleep?" Emily's voice breaking the silence brought the blonde back to the present. It took JJ awhile to register what the other woman had asked, and then she looked rueful when she realized she'd momentarily zoned out.

"It was a shitty day," she answered non-committedly. It was never a good sign when she started cursing, but JJ pushed the irritating thought aside and took another sip which burned just as badly as the first.

"You can say that again." Emily smiled humorlessly, absent-mindedly peeling off the label of her bottle.

Another moment of silence.

"I still don't know how you do it," JJ said in a startling burst of honesty.

"Do what?"

"Any of it. What we did today. How do you do it every day and not find yourself buried under all...that?"

Emily nursed her bottle for a while, the look in her eyes oddly distant.

"I don't, I guess," she finally said and shrugged. "I carry it all with me, but I suppose I just hide it better than most people."

"What? No compartmentalizing?" JJ asked, feigning shock.

"Well, there's some of that, too." Emily chuckled, downing the last drops of her vodka, before throwing the bottle in a nearby trash can. JJ followed her example, and her two bottles made a loud clinking sound when they hit against Emily's on the bottom of the can.

Wordlessly, the blonde stood up and fetched new bottles for them both. Emily only raised her eyebrow in disapproval, but was clearly too tired to protest any further.

JJ knew she was tipsy. Actually, she was a little more than tipsy, but after doubting herself and feeling absolutely useless the entire day, she welcomed it with open arms. And the more tipsy she became, the more aware she was of the other woman sitting next to her; the warmth radiating from Emily's body made JJ's skin tingle, her subtle perfume deliciously tickling JJ's nose.

"How's your cheek?" Emily's voice forced the blonde to concentrate on matters of more importance.

"It's all good," she replied with a chipper voice, not wanting to let on how much the whole thing still bothered her. Raising the bottle in salute, she aimed at her most convincing smile.

JJ felt fingers curling around her chin, the other woman gently urging her to look her way – just like only hours before. Emily inspected the still clearly visible mark, her intense gaze making JJ shiver against her will. She looked at Emily, afraid to breath or move, the brunette's eyes slowly tracing the lines of her cheek until she looked up and their eyes met. Something transpired between them—JJ felt it all the way to the tips of her toes—the invisible pull towards the other almost too powerful to resist. She could hear the blood rush in her ears, the pounding in her head deafening.

Just when JJ was certain her heart would jump out of her chest, Emily seemed to snap out of her trance and quickly let her hand fall from JJ's chin. The brunette turned away from her, clutching the small bottle in her hands. She couldn't quite explain it, but JJ felt the loss of contact almost as a physical blow, as an ache somewhere deep inside her.

Emily drank the remainder of her vodka, her hands trembling slightly, her chest rising and falling irregularly. Feeling oddly shaky, JJ seconded the move and heard another clink from the trash can as her bottle landed on top of the others.

She knew she probably shouldn't do it, knew that this was the moment when she should simply thank Emily for helping her take her mind off certain things for a little while and leave, but it was so much easier said than done. She just couldn't, the rational part of her brain losing the battle and dying a quick, painless death the moment she turned to look at Emily.

JJ's eyes swept over soft, elegant features, and in awe, she marveled, once again, at just how incredibly beautiful Emily was. The other agent's dark hair fell perfectly around her face, framing it beautifully and making her look like a Renaissance painting. Her skin was fair and smooth, and JJ suddenly felt a compelling need to run her fingers down the brunette's neck and experience the smoothness herself.

And then Emily turned to her, their eyes locking, and JJ saw Emily's eyes grow dark with something that she didn't even dare to contemplate. Her eyes involuntarily slid down to stare at Emily's full, perfect lips which were so close that she could easily reach out and trace them softly with her fingers.

JJ found herself wondering for a millionth time that day what it would feel like to kiss those lips, and had her brain not been consumed by alcohol, she would've realized how dangerous her train of thought actually was. But with the day she'd had, she more than deserved to know. Seeing Emily's lips part slightly and the emergence of a pink tongue swiping across Emily's lower lip overloaded JJ's brain, causing it to switch off completely as she leaned forward and captured the brunette's lips with her own.

The moment JJ's lips touched Emily's, her world exploded. It was like sunrise with a giant angel choir singing 'Hallelujah' in the background, like the sweetest candy she'd ever tasted, like coming home, like every other possible romance novel cliché she could think of. Emily's lips tasted of spring and vodka and Emily, and JJ knew she was hooked.

After only a small moment of hesitation, Emily kissed her back, eagerly, her tongue sliding along JJ's lower lip, demanding entrance which the blonde more than happily granted. JJ buried her hands in Emily's hair, pulling the other woman closer, wanting to taste everything. Of its own accord, Emily's hand slowly inched under JJ's blouse, her fingers finally touching bare skin. For JJ, the touch was like a jolt of electricity, and eagerly she struggled to get out of her shirt. Finally, the blonde felt Emily slipping the fabric down her shoulders, the touch incredibly warm and soft. Gently, the brunette lowered them down on the bed, her lips never leaving JJ's.

Their clothes were discarded, one item after another, and soon JJ found herself pinned down on Emily's hotel bed, her lover's face hovering above her. Feeling Emily's naked body firmly against her own made JJ's insides tingle. Emily kissed her slowly, passionately, and JJ was certain she'd never get tired of feeling those lips on hers. Then the brunette pulled back, and JJ whimpered for the loss of contact, but her whimper soon turned into a moan when Emily kissed her way along JJ's jaw and then down her neck. Her breathing ragged and heavy, JJ felt the brunette inch toward her breasts, and she bit down on her lower lip when Emily's tongue made contact with her nipple. Her breath caught in her throat, her hand winding in the other woman's hair in encouragement.

JJ had never felt this way. Her every nerve ending was on fire, her entire being was attuned to the feel of Emily's mouth and hands on her body, every new touch more electrifying than the previous one. A thin sheet of perspiration stuck her hair to her forehead, but JJ didn't care. Emily continued her journey down her stomach, and JJ's head arched back into the pillow when the brunette discovered a particularly sensitive spot.

The ability to form any kind of coherent thoughts had disappeared long ago, and all JJ knew was Emily and Emily alone. The other woman was everywhere, surrounding her completely. Her outstretched hands grabbed the bed sheet, fingers almost painfully digging into the cotton as her body readily responded to Emily's skillful maneuvers. Squeezing her eyes shut, JJ was certain she'd died and gone to heaven.

And then Emily shifted slightly, her hot breath tickling the sensitive skin of JJ's inner thigh, and even in her absolute state of euphoria, the blonde knew exactly what Emily was about to do. She opened her eyes wide and grabbed the sheets even harder, and then Emily's mouth was there and-

Oh, my fucking God.

Next: Part III

fic: criminal minds - between the lines [emily/jj] 1/4

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:03:36 GMT

Title: Between The Lines (1/4)
Author: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Word count: 6,855
Rating: R
Summary: While solving a case, Emily & JJ are forced to take a closer look at their relationship. First time.
A/N: Written for Passion & Perfection's 2008 Epic Proportions challenge. I can't believe I actually finished this. *does a little dance* Includes tiny, tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it kind of spoilers. A BIG thank you to Ann for the wonderful beta.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
- Soren Kierkegaard

PART I

PROLOGUE

Tommy Jenkins loved to play baseball. For his twelve-year-old self, the sensation of the bat hitting the ball at just the right angle and the perfectly round object then flying all the way over to the small patch of woods on the other side of the park was the best feeling in the whole wide world. He was a good player, one of the best in his local league; he knew that one day he'd play professionally, maybe eventually even compete in the World Series, and that prompted him to spend all his free time in the park, practicing furiously. Placing his black White Sox cap tightly on his head, he prepared to take a yet another swing at the ball that he threw in the air shortly afterwards.

As the ball once again found its way to the familiar area of trees, Tommy swept perspiration off his forehead and began jogging at a leisurely pace across the field, a confident smile still gracing his lips. Reaching the first of the tall oak trees, he slowed his steps, his eyes on the area in which he figured the ball must've landed. The thick layer of leaves on the ground shone with different shades of yellow and red, making the task just that much more difficult.

Rounding yet another, clearly impressively old tree, Tommy suddenly bumped into something firm and stumbled backwards in surprise. Taking off his cap which had slid onto his face, he glanced up, automatically apologizing, but the words died on his lips when his eyes landed on the sight in front of him.

All Tommy Jenkins could do was scream.

1.

Emily Prentiss liked to think of herself as a woman of principle.

In fact, when she truly decided something, she was usually extremely pigheaded and didn't waver an inch. And that's why she found it completely unforgivable that at that very moment, she was standing half naked in her apartment, her hands on a blonde who was also wearing suspiciously few clothes and, right then, doing rather incredible things to her earlobe.

It was Monday night and Emily knew she needed to be at work at eight o'clock sharp the following morning, which usually put a lid on her needs – but not today. Today was different. After a particularly difficult day, a crappy day, an unbelievably shitty day at the office, she had felt like she was drowning in hopelessness and unhappiness. And finding a way to relax, to ease the growing feeling of emptiness that was slowly but surely taking over her, simply couldn't be achieved by staying within the four walls of her home.

So, she'd broken her own sacred rule and gone out on a week night.

Emily slid her fingers slowly up the side of the blonde woman who was like putty in the agent's hands. The skin she discovered underneath the white blouse was smooth and warm, the irresistible softness urging her hand closer and closer to the more important areas. She kissed the woman's neck, making her way down to her collarbone, and heard the other woman moan quietly in appreciation. Taking one full breast in her hand, Emily captured the blonde's lips again, all the while maneuvering them towards the fashionable-looking couch in her living room.

It was a fancy couch, and Emily was rather proud of it. Its creamy color complemented perfectly the rather subdued colors of the rest of the apartment. It was a couch that was just on the border of being either posh or simply elegant, and for once, Emily had to admit that her mother had been right about it. It'd been an insane gift from Ambassador Prentiss several years previously when there'd, once again, been something she needed to compensate for with her daughter. Emily hated that her mother usually went on a shopping spree instead of a normal, internal guilt trip, especially since most of the time, the things she was offered Emily most certainly didn't need. But the couch had been a lovely exception, and now it worked nicely as an eye-catcher in her living room. Although, she wasn't so sure her mother would appreciate how she currently put it to use. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd sat on it like ordinary people.

Emily snapped back to the present when she felt the blonde in her arms effectively unbuttoning her crimson red blouse, the soft brushes of the woman's fingers against her sensitive skin leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. If Emily concentrated really hard, she could almost imagine someone else standing in front of her, see someone else smiling seductively at her and feel someone else doing incredibly wonderful things to her.

It wasn't like her current guest was by any means unattractive. No, she was beautiful, gorgeous even. But it didn't matter what an incredible catch she was, because she simply wasn't her. And that's why Emily unabashedly used her imagination, blurring some features out and sharpening others. The woman before her became someone else, and the thought sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine, a shiver that ended up somewhere between her legs, making her breath catch. She swallowed, working hard to keep her fantasy from slipping away.

The other woman took the passing look of desire as encouragement and gently pushed Emily backwards until the brunette's legs came into contact with the side of the couch, and she had no other option than to fall on it as gracefully as possible, followed shortly thereafter by her companion. Sinking her fingers in the blonde's hair, Emily squeezed her eyes shut, her breathing beginning to become ragged as she concentrated solely on the lips that were now tracing her pulse point and sending jolts of pleasure through her body.

A hand made its way down her abdomen, stopping at the waistband of her jeans, and after a moment of pure torture, slipped underneath the denim barrier. Emily's breath hitched, and rational thinking became an impossible task.

"God, Jennifer, don't stop."

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Emily realized her mistake. The lips on her neck, as well as the hand down there, stilled and soon clear blue eyes were peering down at her, confusion and bafflement written all over them.

"I know we just met, but who the hell is Jennifer?"

"I..." Emily felt the words abandon her, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to somehow ameliorate the situation.

She wanted to lie, desperately, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to do it. All it would take was some sappy made up story about how her lover of ten years just left her for a banjo player in some weird Eastern European folk music group, that she was still not quite over it, God forbid, and all would be back on track again. Only, she couldn't; she'd deceived the woman enough as it was. The silence, however, left Emily in a very awkward and unbelievably embarrassing situation.

The other woman's lips pressed into a thin line. Game over, thanks for playing.

"Um, I think this is my cue to leave." The blonde stumbled from the couch, buttoning her pearl white blouse and trying to smooth the worst of the wrinkles from her skirt that their little tryst had caused.

"No, please. I just..." Emily followed suit, pulling the lapels of her own blouse closer together in a sudden wave of prudishness. It was ridiculous, really, considering that just minutes earlier she'd been ready to discard far more than just her shirt. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-,"

"What's my name?" The blonde cut her off, the look in her eyes challenging.

"What?"

"What's my name, Emily?" The other woman repeated her question, emphasizing the last word so that the brunette involuntarily winced. Fetching a pair of high heels she'd lost on the way to the living room, the blonde turned back to her, eyebrows rising in silent question.

Emily fidgeted, her fingers subconsciously playing with the hem of her shirt until she caught herself and crossed her arms self-consciously over her chest. Clearing her throat, she finally raised her eyes to meet the sapphire blue ones that were still firmly fixed on her.

"...Holly?" she finally tried and flinched at the look that passed on the other woman's face.

"Wow." The blonde chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head in disbelief. Collecting her purse and coat where they'd been unceremoniously dropped on the floor earlier, she continued, "I think I just remembered why I don't normally do this." She looked at the brunette again. "Have a nice life, Emily." It was said without malice.

"Yeah. You too," was all Emily could muster as she helplessly watched the blonde walk out of the door, leaving only silence and a faint scent of perfume behind. She walked slowly to the door and slipped the dead bolt in place, both symbolically and literally barricading herself from the outside world. Leaning her forehead gently against the smooth surface of the door, she sighed resignedly before making her way back into the apartment.

By chance, she glanced in the mirror that was hanging in the foyer and was taken aback by the sight that greeted her. She looked tired, exhausted even, her hair hanging lifelessly around her neck and ugly, black circles marring the skin around her eyes. She couldn't recall the last time she'd slept properly, her mind constantly plagued by thoughts she couldn't shake off.

Sometimes, in the throngs of passion, when she was clinging to a woman who reminded her of JJ and begging her not to stop, she was able to forget for a while. It never lasted, though. It was like a trip to a drug addict. But it gave her just enough strength to get through yet another few days of painful acting and being forced to constantly acknowledge what she couldn't have.

Glancing one last time at the door, she sighed again and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Well done, Emily; really well done." She glared at herself in the mirror and then shuffled along the hallway and toward the infamous couch. Flopping down on her back, she stared at the ceiling above her and wondered how different her life could actually be if she'd only made the choices her mother had urged her to make. Sure, she wouldn't be doing the work she loved, with people she highly admired, but maybe her life would make just a little bit more sense, and maybe it'd have some stability that her current state of being clearly seemed to lack. In a moment of annoyance towards her mother and life and, most of all, herself, she picked up a flowery-patterned cushion, which just happened to match the color of the couch to an annoying extent, and threw it angrily across of the room. Burying her head in her hands, she cursed out loud.

"God, I could've sworn it was Holly!"

2.

Jennifer Jareau—or JJ as everyone apart from her mother called her—prided herself in being punctual. In fact, her job very much required that characteristic in a person, so she'd simply perfected an already existing skill. It was her responsibility to ensure that the team of the FBI's Behavior Analysis Unit be able to work smoothly and efficiently as they attempted to catch the most horrific criminals in the entire country. In order to do just that, the media liaison needed to be painfully precise about everything.

Punctuality was an attribute JJ had possessed for as long as she could remember. When she was little, she was always the one who turned up too early to her friends' birthday parties and was then forced to sit awkwardly on the couch until the others finally arrived – twenty minutes late. She'd never been late to a single date in her whole life, and the times when her partner for the evening happened to turn up fifteen minutes after the agreed upon time, she was already long gone. Patience, in terms of her schedule, simply wasn't her forte.

And that was why it truly ticked her off that Agent Prentiss was late for the morning meeting.

Or, that was what she told herself anyway. Emily's chair was the only unoccupied one in the stylish BAU briefing room, and on a regular basis and very much by their own accord, the blonde's eyes returned to that particular piece of black leather furniture. Unconsciously tapping her pen against a brown FBI folder on the table in front of her, she sighed.

"Should we just start without her?" she finally asked Aaron Hotchner, their team leader, who was seated to her right. She knew the annoyance in her voice was just a tad too obvious, but she was only being punctual, was it that difficult to understand? Hotch eyed the clock on the wall, and, perhaps unconsciously, straightened his tie at the same time.

"She called earlier and said that she'd be running a little late. We might just as well wait." He glanced curiously at the blonde media liaison—the way profilers tended to glance at people like they knew everything about them—and then turned his attention back to the file he'd been immersed in earlier. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, JJ busied herself with her papers.

"It's the third time this month," Spencer Reid, their super genius and walking encyclopedia, noted absentmindedly while trying to balance a pencil on his outstretched finger.

"Maybe she's been busy at nights." Derek Morgan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, his trademark grin making an appearance. For some inexplicable reason, the ever calm Agent Jareau wanted to strangle him at that very moment.

"What do you mean?" Reid frowned and looked at Morgan, giving up on his little acrobat show.

"Sometimes I really can't believe you're a genius, kid." Morgan chuckled when the look on Reid's face turned even more confused.

JJ saw the former child prodigy's mouth open to reply, but then there was commotion at the door, and the team's eyes turned to Emily who quickly slipped into her seat. She was panting like she'd run the whole way from her car to the briefing room.

"So sorry I'm late." She looked sheepish and snatched her copy of the case file from the table, fanning herself with it a couple of times before concentrating on the actual contents.

"Hot date last night?" Morgan quipped, clearly amused by Emily's slightly rumpled appearance.

God, didn't he ever stop? JJ forced down a sudden urge to throw something at the brawny agent, and instead, snuck another peek at the brunette. Blinking, she realized that Emily was wearing the exact same outfit she had on the day before; that crimson red shirt, which hung in just the right places, was wrinkled, the buttons on the sleeves unbuttoned, and JJ remembered the black slacks because of Emily's brief visit to her office.

The realization that she knew all that for certain—she could take a damn oath and swear to it in court—made her feel slightly lightheaded.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" Emily pursed her lips and glanced at Morgan who laughed at the easy banter.

"Focus, please," Hotch intervened, but his eyes betrayed his amusement.

Emily mouthed a silent 'sorry' and finally turned fully to JJ who suddenly felt like fleeing the room. If JJ didn't know any better she would've thought she was jealous – which she totally wasn't. She didn't get jealous. Especially of co-workers. And female co-workers at that.

Clearing her throat, JJ stood and aimed the remote towards the big plasma screen, more than grateful for the interruption and being able to concentrate on the job at hand.

"Right. Chicago, Illinois. They have a real problem."

"What kind of a problem?" Reid asked, and five annoyed pairs of eyes turned to his direction. "Sorry," he muttered and slumped back in his seat.

"Like I was saying," JJ began again and pushed another button on the remote. "They have a serial killer. There've been four suspicious hangings in the northern part of the city during the past month." Four face shots appeared on the screen. "All victims are female, ages ranging from 21 to 50, different socioeconomic backgrounds, different life circles. The local police didn't connect the dots until the latest victim, Cheryl Thompson, 21, was found dead yesterday afternoon." A set of crime scene photos replaced the head shots.

"Well, that's a ladder imprint if I've ever seen one." Emily noted quietly, inspecting her own set of photos from the folder.

"It rained heavily the night before and the ground was still nothing but mud when our killer strung her up there. A detective assigned to the case pulled all other recent suicide files and three of them matched the newest one. Also, he discovered this." A push of a button and an image of a white sheet of paper appeared. "The suicide note in all four cases is the same. Word for word."

"Wow. Four victims in a month?" Reid's eyebrows shot skywards. JJ nodded, looking around the room from one concentrated face to another.

"Someone's angry," David Rossi noted, his eyes narrowing slightly. The blonde could almost hear the wheels turning in his head and wondered if he was going to share his thoughts with the team. None of them still completely trusted the BAU legend after the rocky start they'd had, but lately, things had begun to change for the better.

"All the bodies were found hanged in public parks or wooded areas. As for the killings themselves, we don't know much of the specifics yet, especially since the first three cases literally weren't under a microscope until this fourth one. We should find out more once we get to Chicago," JJ said, flipping through her countless papers and notes, which gave her something else to do for a few seconds rather than wonder what on earth Emily had been up to since the last time she'd seen her.

"The suicide note. It's pretty average, don't you think?" Emily asked, reading through it again.

"It's exceedingly average. Partly, at least," Reid agreed, nodding. "I mean, 'I simply can't do this anymore' must be one of the most overused expressions in suicide notes." He underlined that specific line from the note. "But then there's the, 'I know this is wrong.' part which isn't consistent with your usual pattern."

"It isn't?" Morgan asked, now studying the text himself.

"No. Suicide notes rarely comment on the morals of the act." Rossi said, turning Morgan. "It's usually more about the reasons behind it." Morgan nodded, satisfied with the explanation.

"Whoever wrote the note clearly resents these women and the act of hanging itself," Hotch spoke up. "He must be familiar with suicide, one way or another."

"Family member, probably," Emily said, the others nodding in agreement.

"JJ, let the people on Chicago's end know we're coming." Hotch told the media liaison and then proceeded to stand. "Get your bags, everyone. We'll be leaving in an hour."

The sound of chairs being pushed back and the noise of papers being shuffled filled the room as the team finished their briefing. JJ switched off the TV screen and piled up her various files, still preoccupied by the brunette woman on her left that she wasn't able to shake off her thoughts.

"I'd swap that shirt if I were you." JJ heard Morgan's sly comment to Emily as he made his way towards the door. Swallowing nervously, the blonde kept her eyes on the files, wishing she was anywhere else but trapped in the room. She really, really didn't want to be in the middle of Emily and Morgan's oh-so-witty repartee.

"Oh, funny." Emily chuckled. "Guess where I'll be heading right now?" she continued in a knowing tone.

"Someone's been getting some lovin' lately." Morgan's chipper voice carried to JJ's ears even though he wasn't in the room anymore. After being certain of his exit, she allowed herself to look up again.

Emily snorted, her eyes on Morgan's retreating form. Then she turned back to her papers, shaking her head in an amused manner.

"He really is sure of himself sometimes," Emily said inattentively, and JJ wasn't sure if she was expected to comment, but she decided that it'd seem more suspicious if she didn't.

"He's a man," JJ finally bit the bullet, her ears burning. Clearing her throat, she glanced at Emily who was now staring at her with those gorgeous brown eyes, and damn it, JJ simply couldn't look away. A wide grin spread on Emily's face, and her laugh was full and unrestrained, making it impossible for JJ not to crack a grin of her own.

"Touché." Emily finally managed. JJ could do nothing but look at her.

The brunette agent let her guard down so rarely that whenever it did happen, JJ knew to treasure the moment. Seeing Emily laugh, without reserve, was something so exciting and precious that JJ thought she'd burst with joy. And she loved nothing more than being the one who was able to bring out that side in Emily. Somehow seeing her content and happy made JJ's own fears and doubts shrink away – for a little while at least.

There was a strange connection between the two of them, a connection that JJ wasn't sure Emily was even aware of. It was a connection she had felt the moment she'd been introduced to the new addition to their team, and although it was there, lingering, every single moment the two were in each other’s presence, JJ hadn't been able to give a name to the extraordinary link. It was something that was beyond everything else, something almost too big and profound to comprehend. JJ only knew that Emily simply got her, she understood.

Now, standing in the middle of the BAU with the agent who had fit the team like a glove, JJ all of a sudden felt that connection stronger than ever. Emily's presence lit up the entire room, the light wrapping the blonde in a cocoon she never wanted to leave. What she had thought was a harmless crush, innocuous flirting between two good friends, suddenly transformed into something else entirely. And in a moment of epiphany—it was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes—JJ realized why exactly she cared so much what Morgan said or if Emily slept with the entire city of Washington DC.

And that realization scared the hell out of JJ.

"I'd better go and change this damn shirt." Emily rolled her eyes at herself, gesturing vaguely with the pile of papers in her hand. "I'll see you on the plane." A final smile aimed at the press liaison, a smile JJ could swear Emily didn't use with anyone else, and all she could do was politely smile back.

Emily swaggered out of the room, leaving JJ staring at her wake and feeling more a loss than ever before.

3.

Every time the team traveled in their own private jet, Emily couldn't help but marvel at the group of people she was honored to be a part of. Confined in a fairly small place, the plane traveling only emphasized the team dynamics and how perfectly they worked together. It still amazed her how close knit they were, like a second family to each other – and, in Emily's case, this was a family she highly preferred. She'd often wondered if the others had any idea how important they were to her, how much being accepted as part of the team meant to her.

Studying the familiar faces around her, Emily felt overt pride of finally belonging somewhere. She'd never thought she was a part of anything before joining the BAU, not within her own family or in terms of her work. But now, now she knew she'd finally found her place, and she felt happier than she had in years.

It was partly because of the still fairly new and somewhat fragile feeling of belonging that her growing attraction to one Agent Jareau distressed Emily tremendously. By compromising the team dynamics, she would put not only her own personal career, but also their collective work at risk. And she had absolutely no right to jeopardize the team. But she couldn't just turn a switch in her brain and stop longing after JJ, which meant that she would have to suffer in silence and to try to ignore her increasing heart rate whenever the blonde smiled, talked, or simply was in the vicinity.

The bitter irony of the situation didn't go unnoticed by Emily.

"The locals faxed me some more info on the victims," JJ announced and sat opposite the brunette, bringing her back to the present. The press liaison slid a copy of the fax across the table to Emily who gratefully picked it up.

"None of the victims were reported missing?" Emily's eyebrows rose high on her forehead.

"None of them were gone more than a few hours before they were found dead," JJ explained, preoccupied, her fingers dancing on the buttons of her cell phone, a small frown on her face.

"How does someone trick four women into going with him just like that, especially since there were no visible signs of violence on the bodies?" Morgan mused incredulously, reading the fax over Emily's shoulder.

"He's either extremely suave, or they knew and trusted him," Hotch noted, and Reid nodded in agreement.

"Guys, we have a commonality," JJ interrupted, glancing up from her cell phone. "Garcia says that all the victims had previously tried to commit suicide. Unsuccessfully, obviously."

"That's a hell of a commonality," Rossi said, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his thigh.

"Maybe we're dealing with an avenger of some kind?" Emily proposed. "Maybe he's punishing these women for what they did in the past."

"Could there be a religious aspect?" JJ inquired and looked across the aisle at Rossi.

"Doubt it." The older agent pursed his lips, leaning slightly forward in his seat. "In that case, the religious aspect of the murder would play a significant part in the suicide note. There's nothing overt."

"He probably stalks his victims prior to abducting them," Reid said, and the others murmured in agreement.

"There'll be a briefing on the latest murder as soon as we get there, to get us up to speed." JJ turned to Emily, and their eyes locked. Emily felt her heart skip a beat, like so many times before, and with great effort she tore her eyes away, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. She busied herself with the fax in front of her and missed the flustered look on JJ's face.

All of a sudden the cabin of the plane felt almost claustrophobic.

As the team finally stepped out of the plane in Chicago, Emily felt the familiar surge of excitement wash over her. Although she saw truly horrible things that no person should be forced to see, the brunette truly loved her work. The criminal mind fascinated her, and she loved nothing more than to outmaneuver the killers simply by using her brain. It was a vicious circle she found herself in, though; for them to do their jobs and catch their killer, several people had to die. She hated that. But when they finally caught their guy, the guilt for not being able to save the victims eased just a little. And then the circle began all over again, because there was always a new case, always a new killer. Emily had to admit that it was morbidly addictive.

The local FBI office had sent their cars to the airport, and the team divided into two groups as they hopped into the provided vehicles. It didn't go unnoticed by Emily that JJ quickly made a beeline to the SUV in the front after the brunette had already picked the other one. She was strangely relieved and annoyed at the same time. A fleeting thought of JJ knowing that there was something going on with her filled Emily with growing uneasiness, and she tried to ignore the little panicky voice in her head which scolded her for being so careless.

The precinct that would become their command center during the case was like any other police station in the country. It was slightly cramped, detectives and police officers milled about, and Emily instantly felt out of place. The room suddenly got quieter, and she could see the people around them eyeing them in suspicion. That was one of the rare things she actually could've done without in her job, the feeling of being under extreme scrutiny every time they turned up to help. And that's exactly what it was: helping.

A brown haired, middle-aged man dressed in jeans and a vest approached them. What set him apart from the rest was the large silver star on the front of his shirt, identifying him as the boss of the local law enforcement. The star glinted faintly under the halogen lamps, and that, combined with his confident strut, reminded Emily of John Wayne in 'Rio Bravo'. JJ stepped forward, offering her hand.

"Sheriff Gordon?" The man grabbed her hand and nodded. "I'm Special Agent Jareau. We spoke on the phone. These are Special Agents Hotchner, Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss. And this is Doctor Reid." Sheriff Gordon shook hands with them all, a grim look on his face.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather not need you here," he grunted.

"Likewise." Hotch nodded. "Is there somewhere we can set up shop?"

"Yes, follow me." Gordon made a vague gesture to the back of the station, and the team followed closely behind. He led them to a large, office-looking room that was almost Spartan in terms of furnishing, and Hotch looked around him, satisfied.

"What can you tell us about the latest victim?" Rossi asked once everyone was inside.

Gordon blinked. "It's straight to business with you people, isn't it?"

"The sooner we get to work, the better," Hotch said in his typically expressionless way.

"Right." The sheriff scratched his chin, clearly intimidated by the authority that oozed from the federal agents in front of him. "The latest victim, Cheryl Thompson, 21, she was last seen around eight o'clock on Monday morning. A kid playing baseball found her body in a park around noon the same day. The autopsy confirmed that she died of asphyxiation by hanging. The ME also found traces of chloroform in her system, which might explain how she was taken so easily."

"And she'd tried to commit suicide before, just like the others?" Morgan asked, leaning casually against a large table in the middle of the room.

"Yes. And the suicide note that was left on the scene, it was pinned to her shirt, it was exactly the same as the three previous ones."

"Right." Hotch turned to Morgan. "You and Reid stay here, get everything organized. Rossi and I will go through the other three case files with a fine-toothed comb. Would you help us with those, Sheriff?" Gordon nodded firmly and left the room.

"You two." Emily and JJ looked expectantly at Hotch. "We need to interview the victims' families. I know it's been done already, but you know what to look for and which questions to ask."

"Wouldn't Morgan be more suitable for this?" JJ asked uncertainly, giving a sideway glance at the brunette agent standing next to her.

"No, I think we need to play the gender card here. They're more likely to relate to you than to Morgan." Hotch turned away, and JJ sighed.

Emily couldn't help feeling hurt at JJ's obvious discomfort with the assignment. But as they walked out of the station, she told herself that it was nothing to do with her, and that JJ was probably just feeling out of her element in the field.

As if. Pretending had never been Emily's forte. Her mother would vouch for that.

4.

The drive to the house of the first victim's family went by in semi-comfortable silence. JJ was grateful Emily didn't try for small talk, because it would've required reciprocation on her part, and she most certainly wasn't in the mood. Only the GPS lady uttered a seemingly obvious instruction on random intervals. JJ hated the GPS lady; the way she said "re-cal-cu-lat-ing" drove her up the wall, and by the time Emily pulled the car next to the curb in front of the white suburban house, the blonde was ready to murder the damn thing.

Quickly hopping out of the car, JJ registered the worried expression on Emily's face with slight annoyance. Nothing went unnoticed by the profilers, which meant she needed to keep her game face on 24/7.

But JJ was bone-tired. She was exhausted as well as utterly confused and completely at a loss. And when she had so much on her mind, it became more and more difficult to keep up appearances. Also, the tiny, tiny fact that even her basic brain functions seemed to short-circuit every time Emily happened to be in the same room with her, made the task just a little bit more difficult.

Actively ignoring the other agent's baffled gaze, JJ made her way to the front door, soon sensing Emily's presence beside her. She pressed the doorbell and waited, bracing herself for what was to come.

The house appeared to be well maintained, the lawn was cut, the windows were spotless, and absolutely nothing seemed out of place. Keeping up appearances, indeed. The house belonged to the parents of the first victim, Sally Dern, who'd been found in a park only a few blocks down the road.

There was a faint sound of footsteps, and the door was slowly opened. Dull, green eyes looked right at JJ. Suddenly, the blonde didn't quite know what to say, staring at the face of an older woman and feeling her throat constrict at the thought that they had to bring up something the woman probably wanted to forget ever happened. Fortunately, Emily covered for her.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am. I'm Agent Prentiss, this is Agent Jareau. We're from the FBI." She flashed her badge in an experienced manner while JJ pathetically fumbled with her own. "We're very sorry to disturb you, but would it be possible to come in and ask a few questions? It's about your daughter, Sally." Emily's voice was full of compassion.

The woman before them studied the two agents for a moment and then stepped aside, opening the door wider.

"Thank you," JJ said and made her way inside, Emily trailing closely behind her.

In the living room, the gray-haired woman sat gingerly in a ragged arm chair and gestured the visitors to take a seat on the couch opposite her. After being seated, Emily leaned forward slightly, resting her arms on her knees. JJ was secretly glad that Emily, with her usual air of confidence, seemed to take the reins of the situation.

"Mrs. Dern, I know this must be awfully difficult for you, and I'm sorry we need to bring up unpleasant memories, but it would really help us if we could ask some questions about Sally."

Emily's voice was soothing, genuine, and once again, JJ marveled at the other agent's ability to empathize, to communicate with the victims, and to make them trust her seamlessly. With wonder, the blonde watched as Mrs. Dern's features softened at Emily's words, her eyes filling with tears. She took a shuddering breath and nodded.

"Thank you," Emily said quietly. She cleared her throat. "We understand that Sally had tried to commit suicide once before. When was this?"

"Oh." The older woman sat up straighter in her chair, wiping moisture off her cheeks. "That was when she was 19."

"What happened?"

"She had some difficulties adjusting to college. Me and John, my husband, we didn't really give her as much support as we should've." She stammered. "Anyway, then her boyfriend left her, and she just spiraled into a bad place. We really should've been there for her, but..." She finished with a sad shake of her head, her shoulders sagging.

"It's not always easy being a parent." Emily gave a supportive smile. "Did she ever recover from all that?"

"Yes, that's the thing!" Mrs. Dern exclaimed fervently. "She was fine! It took her some time, but she was back to her old self again. She was happy, she was planning on continuing her studies, and everything seemed just how it used to be. She always called us several times a day to let us know everything was okay, especially since she knew we were still worried about her." Blowing her nose, Mrs. Dern looked old and fragile, although, she couldn't be much older than 50.

"I'm sorry, but I need to ask this. How did Sally try to take her own life?" Emily's voice was yet a notch gentler, and JJ realized she was actually holding her breath.

"Drug overdose. Ritalin. Got it from a friend of hers," someone with a deep voice said from behind them. Heads swirled towards the figure standing in the doorway, and JJ's eyes landed on a handsome-looking older man with a sad look on his face. The two agents warily stood up.

"What's this about? Why are you asking about Sally?" It didn't take a rocket scientist to tell that Mr. Dern was still deeply mourning the loss of his daughter.

"There's been a new development," Emily said, and Mr. Dern's posture immediately straightened.

"What kind of a development?" he asked, Mrs. Dern joining him, hooking her arm with his. They stared at the two women in confusion. Finally, JJ stepped forward.

"We have reason to believe that your daughter's death was actually a homicide." JJ could tell the exact moment the new information registered with the parents. Mrs. Dern's hand flew to her mouth in horror, while Mr. Dern visibly paled, his left hand forcefully grabbing the door frame.

"What?" Mr. Dern's voice sounded horrified, and at that moment, JJ hated her job.

"There've been other cases, cases with some striking similarities to your daughter's death," Emily answered. JJ watched helplessly as the parents attempted to come to terms with it all.

"Someone killed her?" Mrs. Dern asked in a desperate whisper, pressing closer to her husband for support.

"Yes," JJ answered simply, casting her eyes downwards in order to avoid the open look of despair on the parents' faces.

"We would like to be alone now, if you don't mind," Mr. Dern said hoarsely, his arms around his wife, who was now fully sobbing.

"Of course." Emily nodded, bowing her head slightly. "I'll leave my card. Call me if you need anything, or if you want to talk."

The Derns didn't look at the agents when the two women passed them in the doorway, and JJ numbly followed Emily out of the house. She felt absolutely drained after only one interview, and with growing forlornness, she thought about the three others that were yet to come. Rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly, the blonde got in the car without a word.

"Do you want to take a break?" Turning to look at Emily, JJ was met by gorgeous brown eyes filled with understanding. Faltering under the intense gaze, JJ hated herself for being so damn weak.

"No. No, I'm fine." She flashed a tired smile and purposefully turned to look out of the window.

JJ hoped Emily would simply drop the matter, and she closed her eyes in relief when she heard the other woman finally turn on the engine. Soon, they were on their way to the second destination of the day, again accompanied by the annoying GPS lady. JJ had no idea how she'd be able to last the day.

"What's the name of our second victim?" Emily asked when they'd driven a good ten minutes in silence.

"Heather Brown, 32," JJ answered, flipping through the case file.

"Heather!" Emily exclaimed all of a sudden, hitting the wheel with her hand and making JJ jump. "Of course, Heather, not Holly. Goddammit."

JJ blinked, staring at Emily like the brunette had suddenly grown a second head. The other agent shook her head in an amused manner, and it wasn't until then that she apparently remembered she had company. Glancing sideways at JJ, Emily swallowed and finally sighed in defeat.

"Don't ask."

JJ wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

Next: Part II

fanvid: criminal minds - only you [emily/jj]

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 23:00:28 GMT

Title: Only You
Vidder: lysachan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Paring: Emily/JJ
Notes: Another Emily/JJ fanvid, finally, after weeks of certain people kicking my butt about it. *g* After making this, I have only one, random & rather obvious thing to say: Paget Brewster is a goddess.
Download/Watch: Megaupload (32,2Mb / .wmv) or YouTube. Embedded version under the cut.

ship manifesto: emily/jj [criminal minds]

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:14:46 GMT

Title: Femslash; FBI Style
Author: lysachan
Paring: Emily/JJ
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Spoilers: Spoilers to Seasons 2 & 3.
A/N: Emily/JJ has become so very obvious during the past few months, and such an obvious paring deserves a ship manifesto. Big thank you to Shay for her input and suggestions. <3

The Way to a Criminal Is Through His Mind

Criminal Minds is a CBS crime show that premiered in September 2005. The show revolves around the FBI's Behavior Analysis Unit (BAU), a team of profilers whose job is to catch serial killers all over the United States by profiling them.

Ratings-wise the show is a clear winner: it has been one of the best rated shows every Wednesday since its premier. But within critics it is clearly under-appreciated, and this is mostly because people tend to categorise it as a typical procedural. In my opinion, however, Criminal Minds is quite a lot more than that and cannot possibly be straightforwardly categorised. It is not another Law & Order, and it is nothing like CSI, or any other crime show out there for that matter. Criminal Minds is in a category of its own.

Being a sucker for crime shows ~~and fascinated by serial killers~~, I tuned in right away in the beginning and have been a loyal follower ever since. Criminal Minds is crime drama at its best: the writing is fantastic (gets better and better by the episode), the cast is likable and the characters sympathetic. And then there is the 'holy femslash batman!subtext' which I will delve into in this manifesto.

The Not-So-Unknown Subjects

The Profiler

Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss joined the team in mid-Season 2. Emily's parents are highbrow diplomats, which made Aaron Hotchner, their team leader, especially doubt her sincerity in terms of joining the BAU. Eventually her name is cleared, however, and she proves herself more than worthy of the team's respect.

It was clear from the beginning that Emily is an incredibly good profiler (it is already evident in "Empty Planet", the episode where Emily first makes an appearance), and that she truly belongs with the BAU. She has an ability to empathise with the victims, to create a connection with them and to make them trust her.

...obviously, we are talking about the live victims here. Ahem.

We know bits and pieces about Emily's background. As was mentioned earlier, her parents are political figures, and most probably due to this Emily has stated, twice, that she loathes politics. For the same reason she seems to be rather well off, living in a rather big flat near the Capital Dome in Washington DC. It is probable that her relationship with her parents is not the best possible: in "Sex, Birth, Death", one of her reasons for hating politics is that it "tears families apart". Also, her interaction with her mother seems rather strained in "Honor Among Thieves".

Emily spent a lot of time in Middle Eastern countries growing up, she went to Yale, and, besides English, speaks at least three languages (Arabic, Spanish, and sort of Russian).

Emily is a self-proclaimed nerd. She also says that, unlike most people, she is good at compartmentalising, which makes it easier for her to deal with the horrors the team faces everyday. At the same time, however, she has more than once wondered what exactly separates them from the killers they try to catch, since they are catching the unsubs (Unknown Subject) by attempting to identify with them.

On a completely shallow note, then, Emily also often dresses in fantastically butchy clothes & accessories (cargo trousers! Army boots! Jeans! James Bond watch!), and her swagger has been known to distract fangirls all over the globe.

The Media Liaison

Unlike the rest of the team, Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer "JJ" Jareau is not actually a profiler. Her specialty is media relations, which means she works as a unit liaison – a link between the team and the rest of the world. Her job also entails picking the cases for the team from all files that come to her desk. Despite perhaps feeling like an outsider at times, in "North Mammon" JJ states that becoming a profiler is not something she particularly wants: she likes being the one the families and people can turn to. The team is extremely important to her, however, and she has actually compared it to family.

When the show premiered, JJ's role was pathetically small, but towards the end of Season 1, and especially from Season 2 onwards, her role has become just as essential as the others'. Now she spends more and more time in the field with the rest of the team, and on many occasions she is able to take part in the actual profiling, as she has picked up the basics along the way & has good observational skills.

JJ is not the opposite of Emily only when it comes to looks. Their backgrounds could not be more different: JJ grew up in a small town called East Allegheny in Pennsylvania which, according to her, was "too small for a bowling alley". She was captain of the varsity soccer team in high school and got an athletic scholarship, because that was the only way to college. She hated the small town mentality and simply wanted to get away from it all.

Other small tidbits that we know about her are that she is scared of woods, owns everyone else at darts, used to collect butterflies when she was little, and is a huge fan of the Washington Redskins.

Wardrobe Swapping and Dirty Text Messages

I had a clear theory in my head when I began working on this manifesto and watching through the 2.5 seasons worth of episodes that have aired so far. The way I saw it, the development of the Emily/JJ ship is a nicely straightforward one. What I mean by this, is that things start out slowly but surely, they develop and become more and more obvious, and eventually culminate to the femslashy magnificence that is most of Season 3.

I am happy to say that, as the following will hopefully prove to you as well, I was not too far off from the truth.

Bring on the Femslashy Goodness, I Say

Season 1 is, understandably, a femslash light season. JJ's role being fairly small and Emily's absence are obvious drawbacks, and we need to wait till halfway Season 2 before things start heating up.

It is obvious from the moment Emily joins the team that sparks are flying. In "Lessons Learned" (Emily's first real episode with the team) JJ says, smiling brightly, that she has been briefing her on protocol, thus it is clear they get along well. Also, in general, the two have never fought or bickered in any way; there seems to be a mutual respect and understanding between them.

"Sex, Birth, Death" (two episodes later) establishes a characteristic of the Emily/JJ relationship I like to call 'the eyeshag factor'. The more you pay attention to their communication and interaction, the more you realise the constant eye contact between them. The eye-shagging becomes more and more overt by the episode, and by mid-Season 3 it reaches the 'we could just as well be having sex right now' stage.

While the chemistry between Emily and JJ is definitely detectable right after Emily's first appearance, it is not until "Revelations" that we get our first glimpse at the obviousness of this paring.

JJ and Reid get separated while chasing down an unsub on the grounds of a remote farm, resulting in the kidnapping of Reid and JJ needing to gun down a pack of vicious dogs. When eventually the rest of the team arrive, Emily and Derek Morgan (one of the profilers) find JJ in a state of shock.

Emily is immediately by her side, her hands reaching for the blonde, but not quite touching. And when they need to ask JJ about Reid and his whereabouts, Emily is the only one who can get through to her:

Morgan: JJ, where's Reid?
JJ: [not listening] [The dogs] just completely tore her apart. There's nothing even left-
Emily: JJ, look at me. Look at me.
[JJ finally turns to Emily]

In it simplicity, this moment is loaded with femslashy subtext: JJ is able to break through her state of shock only when she hears Emily's voice and looks her in the eye.

The femslashiness of the episode culminates in a scene where JJ is angsting alone in the room when Emily shows up (JJ's hips are canted in a very sexy manner as she leans over a sink; how Emily is even able to form coherent sentences is beyond me). Emily seems to know exactly how to handle the other woman, and the look in her eyes is nothing short of gentle. She also seems to be a person JJ feels she can talk to:

JJ: Emily. [Emily turns back] How come none of this gets to you?
Emily: What do you mean?
JJ: [in wonder] You came off a desk job. Now suddenly you're...in the field surrounded by mutilated bodies and...you don't even flinch.

Not only are JJ's eyes roaming all over Emily and giving a whole new meaning to "eye shag", but she actually calls Emily by her first name. Up to that point, no one has done that, since most of the time the team refer to her as 'Prentiss'. Also, since then only Reid has used Emily's first name, and even that was not to her face.

The name detail might not be so significant if it did not work the other way around as well: in the entire two-and-a-half-season-long run of Criminal Minds, no one has referred to the media liaison by her first name only. No one but Emily, that is. In the Season 3 episode "Scared to Death" Emily slips and suddenly introduces JJ as simply 'Jennifer'.

Emily has a history of such, somewhat revealing, slips. In "Jones" the two women are interrogating a man who supposedly raped a woman in the past. When he denies everything and claims he does not have a clue what they are talking about, Emily says something interesting:

Emily: Someone accuses me of rape, I'm gonna remember her name.

Yes, it could simply be a figure of speech, but to me it sounds more like a Freudian slip. And a rather obvious slip at that, too.

The events of "Revelations" seem to do the trick, since the interaction between Emily & JJ at least doubles. In "Fear and Loathing", during a profile briefing, JJ suddenly receives a text message. She reads it, glances at Emily (who is behind a pillar, so we cannot actually see her face) and stands up, smiling. Sending dirty text messages during briefings, Emily?

Similarly, "Distress" could just as well be called "Can't Take My Eyes off You: the Emily/JJ eye shag fest", while "Open Season" has JJ overtly WINKING at Emily in a bar – and not to mention JJ's keen interest in Emily's family stories when everyone else seems to be ignoring her completely. Also, in "No Way Out, Part II" Emily continues with the innuendoes:

[after a woman asks her whether it is wrong to love a serial killer]
Emily: [unhesitatingly] You don't choose who you fall in love with.

I would give my right arm to see JJ's reaction shot to that as she is standing right next to her. In any case, Season 2 wraps up with an extremely nice promise of what is yet to come.

It's Canon, Baby!

Season 3 is the season of the gay. It is a season that has shed all doubts of the relationship between Emily and JJ being anything but the femslashy, lesbian type. And this trend kicks off right away in the season premier.

Although "Doubt" was actually filmed during Season 2, it works perfectly as the Season 3 premier when it comes to the Emily/JJ ship. The utter lack of personal space, as well as the frequent eye shagging, continue, and we get another carefully worded hint of exactly what team the two play for:

[walking extremely close together on a college campus; seriously, they could be holding hands]
Emily: It's a weird age. You wanna be treated like an adult, but you're still used to someone else solving your problems for you.
JJ: [glancing at Emily, chuckling] All I remember is trying to figure out who I was.

In other words: "In college I had a torrid love affair with my female roommate and I've been a skirt chaser ever since." Emily probably gets the drill, since she looks downright jealous when a female student suddenly hugs JJ after the blonde has admitted that they have someone in custody.

In "Birth and Death" the team is severely splintered as Hotch applies for a transfer, Gideon (another profiler) simply takes off, and Emily resigns. When, eventually, Hotch and Emily go and rejoin the remaining three members, Emily's eyes are only on JJ – and vice versa. And they grin like idiots.

The same episode ends with Emily being hit around the head with a plank of wood, causing a small head wound. When the team rushes in to save her, JJ is at Emily's side, asking if she is okay. It looks like she wants to touch Emily, her hand reaching towards her, but eventually she decides only to brush her arm. I bet she figured she would just wait until they got home in order to properly console the other woman.

There are three special cases of Criminal Minds, a sort of a holy trinity of Emily/JJ episodes. "Revelations", especially with its overt eye sex, is the first corner of the triangle, the second being "Children of the Dark". This is also an episode that—in my mind—carries the name of "Emily & JJ Come to the Conclusion That They Will Have Kids".

Not only do the women spent almost the entire episode together, but this episode also brings the femslash between them on a whole new level. It is 40 minutes of eye shagging, invading the other's personal space, and pure flirting.

But the reason why Emily/JJ is so canon after this episode takes place in the end. Emily bonds with a girl, Carrie, who survived a violent attack by the unsubs – an attack which also left her an orphan. When, on the way home, Emily angsts about Carrie going to live with her distant relatives, JJ suddenly makes an appearance and sits opposite her:

[suspiciously romantic piano/violin music starts playing]
JJ: [quietly] Are you okay?
Emily: [not very convincingly] Yeah.
[long pause & eye shagging]
JJ: They're good people. Carrie's family.
Emily: Good. [more eye shagging] I'm glad.
JJ: [totally flirting] I think it's a good idea, though.
Emily: What's that?
JJ: [softly] You...kids...I can see it.
Emily: [uncertain smile] Yeah?
JJ: *nods in a very flirty way*
[Emily smiles & THE eye shag off all eye shags takes place]

If this was not a primetime show on American network television, JJ's line would have been "You...me...kids." There is no way that dialogue and the flirty looks can be misinterpreted; and they could just as well be having sex in the middle of the plane, the eye shagging is so, very obvious.

As if the episode was not femslashtastic as it is, there is yet another intriguing—and completely gay—attribute of the Emily/JJ ship that becomes apparent: wardrobe swapping. Yes, Emily & JJ visit each other's wardrobe on a regular basis, it seems.

Emily sports a nice, purple shirt in "No Way Out, Part II", the same shirt JJ can be seen wearing in "Children of the Dark". But it does not end there. Emily's green shirt from "Doubt" is on JJ in "Lucky", and Emily is obviously wearing JJ's jacket in "Birthright", because it looks way too small on her, and JJ is wearing it herself in the very same episode.

One can wonder what happened to JJ's own shirts and Emily's jacket. Or, why exactly JJ happened to be at Emily's place in the morning when she needed to get dressed in the first place.

It Is All about the Touching

After "Children in the Dark" the interaction between the two women seems to be more familiar, more intimate. Emily touches JJ more (usually rather unnecessarily), like for instance in "Seven Seconds", and in group scenes their eyes find each other's on regular intervals, "About Face" being a lovely example of the latter. It is worth noting that the profilers very rarely touch each other, so the fact that Emily's hands seem to constantly be on JJ speaks volumes.

Emily also becomes more protective of JJ, and the beginning of this trend can clearly be detected in "Lucky": the team raid the unsub's house, but at first nothing can be found. When a noise can be heard coming from the basement, Emily & JJ—who had been standing in the kitchen—join the rest of the team at the end of a hallway. But although it is JJ who is closer to the doorway and in all probability should come down the corridor first, it is actually Emily who leads the way, JJ trailing close behind her.

Emily's protectiveness continues in "Penelope", an episode that brings a whole new dimension to the already obvious femslash content. "Penelope" is also the third episode of the holy trinity, because if someone still had any doubts before this, after seeing "Penelope" those doubts most certainly flew out the window.

Garcia, their computer tech, is shot in the beginning and whisked off to a hospital. JJ and Hotch find out first and are the first ones in the hospital waiting area, soon followed by Reid. But while JJ has pretty much been fretting and keeping to herself, the moment Emily arrives, her demeanour changes: JJ does not even pay attention to Rossi who arrived with Emily, but her eyes dart to the other woman, and the two are next to each other in an instant.

A little while later one of the most revealing moments between Emily and JJ takes place. JJ is sitting in the hallway, deep in thought and a look of sadness on her face. Suddenly we learn that Emily sits beside her. She studies JJ's profile for a moment, clearly knowing exactly what the other woman is going through, and then she does the one thing that, in my mind, cements Emily/JJ as canon: Emily takes JJ's hand.

And a collective squee of the fangirls could be heard around the world.

For me, probably the best thing about the hand holding is its effortlessness: Emily takes JJ's hand like it is the most natural thing in the world, and JJ's hand grabs Emily's in a way that gives the impression that she has done it countless times before. And we all know she has. I mean, please.

Due to the WGA writers' strike only twelve episodes of Season 3 has been filmed so far. This obviously means that some storylines were left hanging, and that the season ended rather abruptly (there is only one episode left as this manifesto is being written). But, in terms of Emily & JJ, the show’s ending did not disappoint.

While "True Night", the episode immediately following "Penelope", does not have many Emily/JJ scenes (besides JJ being distracted by Emily's sexy strut past her desk), "Birthright" brings on the subtext again.

Besides the usual way-longer-than-necessary eye contact and wearing each other's clothes, we get physical contact which is nothing short of intimate: when JJ turns down the invitation to go for drinks with the rest of the team, Emily walks to her, puts a hand on her shoulder and rubs her arm in a loving manner while going "awww". And JJ acknowledges the gesture by almost leaning to it.

The interesting thing is that Emily is the only one who expresses her disappointment and actually physically touches JJ; the others do not even seem to care. I bet Emily will make it all up to her later on.

Profile This!

After wading through all the episodes and analysing them to the best of my ability, I was extremely delighted to realise that my theory actually holds. The relationship between Emily and JJ starts building up slowly (just as any relationship, really), like such episodes as "Revelations" and "Open Season" demonstrate, but the pace soon speeds up.

By the beginning of Season 3, their relationship seems, if not established, then clearly on its way to that. Such flirting, longing looks and physical contact take place during the first half of the season that you would have to be blind not to see it.

Eye shagging, no personal space, unnecessary touching, pure flirting... It is all femslash 101 – no matter what way you look at it.

Immerse Yourself into the Fandom

A Few Ficrecs

Bend and Not Break by theclosetalker
Like This Insubstantial Pageant Faded by fewthistle
Plane Whispers by purplebrat
Predilection by Harper
Sorrow Is an Enemy by fewthistle
Target Practice by LeeT911
Three Things Jennifer Jareau Knew She Shouldnt Do by fewthistle
The Heart Knows by atfm

Videos & Art

All For Believing by lysachan (shameless self-promotion, but what can you do when there are practically no vids out there?)
Nobody Knows It by ohsoleil
Unbound by freya86

Wallpapers by Shaych

LJ Communities

cm_femslash - Criminal Minds Femslash community
criminalxminds - A General Criminal Minds community

Other Websites

Official CBS Website
Criminal Minds Fanatic

fanvid: women's murder club - suddenly i see [lindsay/cindy]

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:00:54 GMT

Title: Suddenly I See
Vidder: lysachan
Fandom: Women's Murder Club
Paring: Lindsay/Cindy
Notes: Although a wonderful gen video for this song was just posted, the damn song simply wouldn't leave me alone. So, I decided to make my video a shippy one, since the number of Lindsay/Cindy vids out there is surprisingly small. Spoilers to the first nine episodes of Season 1.
Download/Watch: Megaupload (37,1Mb / .wmv) or YouTube. Embedded version under the cut.